Stuck in Your Career? Learn New Approach to Networking called SweatWorking.

Daily Quote : 

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks”. Mark Zukerberg-CEO Facebook

Do you feel overwhelmed with your job responsibilities? Are you keeping your head down and just trying to do your best? Are you forward and getting opportunities to add to your experience portfolio? Is hard for you to find the time to keep your contacts refreshed and up to date? If so I am here to tell you that you are taking a big risk because career development and security are not the responsibility of your boss or company. Don’t lament or make excuses about why you don’t have the time to manage your career because Kanesha Baynard, a Bay Area career development coach who works with job seekers and others, has coined a new approach for networking called SweatWorking. It is also a concept built on the need to find time to keep your network fresh and always expanding.  It is an also unique strategy for job seekers trying to build their network in a new city. She suggests a proactive approach like finding an activity that you know the other person enjoys; for example a mutual contact tells you Bob loves to play tennis or run. “If you have been participating in a certain activity for awhile, you may want to think about joining Bob in a run or hitting the tennis ball around rather than having a cup of coffee. This concept is a takeoff on the “old boys network” of playing golf with clients or other professionals to increase your visibility and network.

Whether the goal is to land a new job, start a professional relationship or build rapport with a new business associate, exercise can serve as a great connector. She says in the recent article in Fast Company that it removes the barriers for connecting because “There’s no corporate armor on anymore,” and  you are on more equitable footing with the other person

Maybe SweatWorking is the answer to your excuse and obstacles for building a strong and viable contact network—I don’t have time, I don’t like drinking and just socializing. Well here is a new way to “kill two birds with one stone” use your workout time not for solo activity but use it to build new connects.

Self Coaching Challenge: Next week identify a potential networking friend and invite them for a game of tennis or whatever. After the activity reflect on what you learned about the other person and how you can use SweatWorking to provide a different approach to keep your career moving forward.

Want to learn more read this article on SweatWorking in Fast Company

http://www.fastcompany.com/3047240/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/networking-is-over-welcome-sweatworking

Want to Deliver Memorable Presentations: Pay Attention to Audience Needs and Learn to be Spontaneous and Flexible

Daily Quote:  “Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much..if the presenter sends a message that the receiver does not see as relevant to their needs and doesn’t understand the point of the speech – then who needs to change?”
Robert Greenleaf

 

In this utube, we hear and see one of Hollywood’s great story tellers talk about how to be more spontaneous and flexible, so as to connect with the audience. Many time presenters to not pay attention to audience feedback during a presentation and miss the opportunity for changing the direction or the emphasis of some content over the canned speech. Picking up on questions and body language provides clues of what to emphasize to match audience needs.

The perceived effectiveness of your presentation is many times dependent on your ability to pay attention to what is going right in front of you.

Self-Coaching Challenge: Add to your presentation skills by learning to be more spontaneous and authentic take an Improvisation Seminar or Acting class. Remember the key to being a great presenter is to be awake to the audience needs. So instead of finding excuses to not becoming a better presenter learn to use and say the first Rule of Growing and Improv–is to ‘just say YES … 

Single Most Important Factor For Happiness–Unique Connections

Unique Connect—Seek to understand and show interest before telling your story

“When we’re with other people, we feel more positive emotions, which leads to greater happiness. When we’re happier, we have better relationships. This in turn leads to more positive emotions…and being on an “upward spiral” of well-being and happiness. Connecting with others is the single most important thing we can do for happiness”… the cerebral virtues—curiosity, love of learning—are less strongly tied to happiness than interpersonal virtues like kindness, gratitude, and capacity for love.” Martin Seligman  

When you first meet someone, are you attuned and focused on them or are you more interested in telling them your story? Showing interest and learning about the other person 1st is key to establishing a good first impression and establishing a “unique connect” Learning about them and their interests is a powerful connector. This is a secret that too many people have never learned because they like being the center of attention. When done well it builds a strong foundation for building a long-term relationship based on memorable first impression that demonstrates in a concrete way your core values of caring and interest.

If you do the unique connect well the following will occur:

  1. You will enjoy the conversation more because you invested in someone else.
  2. They will like you more and the interaction is more engaging.
  3. You will be perceived as an interesting person.
  4. They will normally begin to ask you questions and thus become interested in you.
  5. They will perceive you as a great resource and worthy person, which will impact you in the future.

The “unique connect” is powerful because the shift that focuses on someone else makes them feel better and accepted. The “unique connect” helps keep your ego in check and good reminder that it is not about us but the people we serve – that we influence people all the time, whether you realize it or not, and that there is always more to learn and new ways to grow. When you are interested in someone and they begin to trust you, then your influence increases and impact occurs. And by the way they may complete the circle by asking about you and your story.

Self-Coaching challenge: Here two ways to increase your connections with others. In the next 24 hours pick one and try it out. Then reflect on how it makes you feel. The Emotional Life Series on happiness recommends these two techniques:

” 1. Connect every day. Find a way to connect with someone else every day. Make it a priority to have a relaxed phone conversation, take a short walk together, share a meal, or exchange letters or emails with someone you enjoy.

2. Fake it to You Make it– Act “as if.” Even if you’re not a very outgoing person, act as if you are when you are around other people. Researchers find that if you push yourself to be more outgoing when you are with other people, you’ll feel more positive emotions from the social interaction”.

Poem: This is Me…Doing the Best I Can. by MW Hardwick

This is Me…Doing the Best I can…By MW Hardwick

I am unique and me.

There is no one exactly like me.

I accept who I am–strengths, faults and “big ears”…

There are persons who have similar outlooks and physical characteristics

And some personality styles and preferences like me…

Still no one is exactly like me…

Therefore, I am special and a gift…

Everything that comes out of me is not beautiful or prized

And yet it is singularly authentic because I am me.

And I am choosing and creating my way…

I own everything about me–          

My mind including its thoughts, feelings, and demons
My body including all its flaws and scars… and moles
My eyes including the images of all they behold;
My smile My words tone of voice loud or soft, sweet or harsh—-

And most of all my actions…good or bad…intentional or impulsive

I own my hopes and dreams, my fears, my failures
I own all my strengths, weaknesses and all my wins or losses.

I own all of me–bright and shadow sides…

By accepting me I am free to change and renew
I know there are aspects of me I don’t know and can’t hide

These parts confuse, scare and puzzle me–

Other aspects others see and I don’t.
But as long as I am open, vulnerable and compassionate with myself,
I can act whole-hearted and be daring.

Looking for ways to be more courageous…more caring and less self-serving

All I need to do is ask the universe…and solutions appear.

And if I stay curious, open and aware

I will find out more about me.

Being present and attentive to whatever I say and do

Whatever I think and feel at a given moment is me…

And this is being authentic and real…

I can discard that which is not working, keeping what proved worthy.
And invent something new.

Because this is me. This is me…Trying to do my best

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have feelings of  joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement and happiness

To be close to others, to be happy.., and to make sense out of a complex world…

I own me, and therefore I can create my meaning…my  meaning…

I am okay and good enough…enough…enough…this is my BEST 

Self Coaching Module #3: Developing Unique Connections through the Art of Listening and Questioning.

Studies have concluded that 70 percent of the average day is spent in communicating.  However, only 10 percent of that communicating is done in writing: therefore, the rest is verbal.  Also, it has been discovered that most people speak at a rate of 125 words per minute and that people can absorb or process words at a rate of 400-500 words per minute.  The question becomes what do we do with that extra capacity to listen?

Since gathering information and connecting with people are important dimensions of leadership it seems only smart to always be looking for ways to improve the skills of listening and questioning. Remember what I have said before: “In Self-Coaching you are the person builder and value developer…who is trying to focus on your strengths and find ways to reach your full potential.  Your goal of becoming a more effective leader is enhanced if you learn  to  improve your ability to actively listen, confront issues, and problem solve.”

Listening Habits or Mannerisms to Avoid

  •  Prejudging the subject or speaker
  •  Criticizing the speaker or manner of delivery
  • Getting over-stimulated about the subject and therefore getting ahead of the speaker or not remaining objective
  • Attempting to be “too” complete in taking notes
  • Audience distractions – causing them or being part of them
  • Letting personal prejudices get between you and the material “hot buttons”
  • Not paying attention to the speaker

Positive Listening Habits

  •  Evaluate the message for its pertinence to you and your job
  • Try to detect a central message and avoid getting “hung-up”
  • Avoid or overcome distractions
  • Maintain emotional control
  • Use extra listening capacity to anticipate where the speaker is going
  • Focus on how the message fits or contradicts your ideas and thoughts

Summary

Active listening is only half of the communication process.  The other half is the art of effective questioning.  As a good questioner you show interest and are demonstrating the “golden rule” of listening: MMFI (Make Me Feel Important).  You will encourage people to more fully develop their answers and this will provide you invaluable information and insight.  Setting your concerns and self-interest aside and “being there” in the “here and now” with the other person is rare and powerful.  If you are truly listening you not only hear the words, but also the emotions, fears and issues of the other person.  This provides a unique bond of empathy and an opportunity to learn from others. 

CPR Technique for better understanding and personal connections 

Clarifying

Ask questions to check your understanding of the meaning of the person’s words or ask person to clarify by telling you more… use open-ended questions.

  • Please tell me more about that issue….
  • “When you say __________, what exactly do you mean?”

Paraphrasing

In your own words repeat or restate what you think the other person said.

  • “Let me see if I understand you correctly…”
  •  It seems to me, if I understand you correctly,  that you want to find a new job. Have got it right?

Reflection

Use reflection to display empathy and to check your perception of the person’s emotions.  There are two components of reflection:

  • Tentative statement (“It appears that you are overwhelmed with forms”)
  • Attempt to identify the feeling (“You’re frustrated with…”) Identify the feeling being expressed, if you are wrong the person will set you straight.

Additional Active Listen Tools   

Focused Attention

Tune out distractions. Concentrate.  Look the person in the eye and turn toward them to clearly communicate your interest in what they are saying. Do not multitask when talking with others. 

Silence

Give the person time to collect their thoughts and continue.  Use non-verbal cues to demonstrate your receptivity.

Powerful Questions: 

What is the higher purpose for resolving this matter?

What is the ultimate reason for doing this activity?

What is the outcome that you want?

What are your goals?

Withhold judgment and actively listen – When interacting with others, attempt to take their entire experience into account and take time to understand the full context of that interaction to
the best of your ability. Refrain from making snap judgments and quick first impressions. Try to see the world through their eyes by asking relevant questions not canned ones. Before framing your question reflect on your past relationship with this person and hoe that may influence your ongoing interactions? How do you think they truly feel about you? Given what you are now discussing what information do you need to better understand their point of view, then ask your question.

How we can connect more as presenters and public speakers:Learn more about empathy

Empathy—mirror neurons show that being connected to someone is not just in the mind. There are these fundamental physiological and  behavioral moments that are occurring continuously with other people who we’re not aware of. There is a solid grounding of neurological research which is completely consistent with this hypothesis.

Power of Empathy:  Presenters who demonstrate empathy and caring are rated higher on presentation evaluations because they can reach out beyond themselves and their subject matter and connect to other people’s experiences and needs. At the core people discover unseen opportunities and problems when they have a personal and empathic experience and connection with the world around them.

For most of us that means we need to have an experience to walk in other people’s shoes. It also means not judging differences physical or idea wise as bad ugly or stupid. When we are being empathic we must see and understand without judgment. Having the ability to reach out and touch, understand and connect with other people and the world around us is what empathy is all about. It provides us with the courage to take risks long before the rest of the world is tuned in. Simply put people who have the ability to use their brain to care and connect are happier and more successful in the world. We develop an intuitive or gut reaction to see the world from many points of view and listen to people who matter the most. When we practice empathy we are open to new ideas and ethical concerns. This in turn provides the impetus to build and support a culture of clarity and concern focused on people rather than on fame, wealth and material things.

Creating Trusted Business Relationships: Be a Person for Others

Daily Quote: “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” – Jackie Robinson, First African American Major League baseball player

“The friendships which last are those wherein each friend respects the other’s dignity to the point of not really wanting anything from him.”- Cyril Connolly

Reflection:

Core of Respect for others is a mindset that fosters building effective and long-term trusting relationships.  In this instance, it involves listening to and understanding the other person, noticing details about them and their situation, and then taking an active role in doing something about it. I really consider this to be a strong Quality of worklife (QWL) culture where respect + solution oriented action =friendship and loyalty. Taking action is about participating rather than observing which is essentially communicating disinterest or not caring behavior. Unique connected behavior has the benefit of the concept many are calling purpose-centered behavior which is the reward system for doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Everything we do, say and act on has a reaction –there are no neutral moves. Because we are connected, almost as quickly as one positive happens the next is sure to follow. This concept is so important, it will change the way you think and do things indefinitely as well as everyone you come into contact with.

Call for Action: What can you to today to create trust and respect at your work place?  Use the Stop-Think-Do technique to get started in creating a more respectful climate and more trusted relationships.   

Ripple Effect #2 —Oxytocin Recptor can trigger empathy and listening

Listen with the whole body; make eye contact with the intention of really seeing and connecting with the speaker; and offer connecting gestures without interrupting the speaker to share your own comments or stories. Simple—but not always easy to do when we’re distracted, busy, or stressed out ourselves. This approach to empathic listening can be a powerful gift to the person who is talking, because it encourages more openness and sharing at deeper conversational levels. It helps us stay grounded in the “here and now” moment, and more fully atunetuned with another person sharing his or her experience with us.

This type of active listening is a positive impact that “ripples” through the audience. It shows how one small action can have a big influence on the learning environment and receptivity of the audience to your message. As a speaker you can initiate a positive feeling from the audience that can have a virus type effective.  Being pro-active with positive gestures can trigger and engage audience members brain receptors like oxytocin in audience members.

When we have the intention to experience and offer empathy, we can make choices—even small ones, like how we make non-verbal expression of contact can lead to audience members authentic experience of caring and empathy from the speaker.

Research Reference:

A Kogan, LR Saslow, EA Impett, C Oveis, D Keltner, S Rodrigues Saturn. Thin-slicing study of the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) gene and the evaluation and expression of the prosocial disposition. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2011; DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1112658108.

How to create Unique Connections and make Presentations “Sticky” –

 

How to create and foster “Unique Connections “ and make presentations “sticky”

Tease don’t tell. Before your audience will value the information you’re giving, they’ve got to want it… Most presenters take the audience’s desire for granted, but that’s a big mistake. Great presentations are mysteries, not encyclopedia entries. “ Heath Brothers  

Connecting with the audience is one of the most challenging elements of creating a climate for an effective conversation:

  • You must be ready to start with high energy and hit your marks perfectively so to keep the audience engaged and curious about your topic
  • Connecting is all about observation and building rapport and empathy. To do this you nee to show interest and understanding about your audience needs and problems.
  • You need to know how to effectively open-up conversations. The skill of improvising and be attuned to audience feelings and distractions help you to  customize your presentation as you go.
  • You must find ways to engage and connect emotionally not just presenting facts, bullet point slides and logic.
  • Having the audience answer why they are attending or interested in the presentation needs to be ask at least three times so as to uncover the members “unique” objective or goal for the session.

Adult Learning design principles for connecting:

  • Show passion and belief  for message- by building common ground through sharing values and personal stories; let the audience engage with you by answering questions throughout the presentation; let them know what is important to you ans probe what is important to them;.
  • Be authentic and believable –the more authentic you are perceived to be the easier it will be to connect with you and your message
  • Make your stories, facts and figures come to life by using visuals and being confident in how you present information.
  • Remember in presenting –”less is more” so be concise and present information that is relevant to the audiences experience and needs.

Part 1: Remarkable Presentations–Creating and fostering “Unique Connections”

Part 1 Making your next Presentation- Remarkable

1. Create and foster “Unique Connections “

Connecting with the audience is one of the most challenging of the four keys to becoming a remarkable presenter- start

  • You must be ready to start with high energy and hit your marks perfectively so to keep the audience engaged and curious about your topic
  • Connecting is all about observation and building rapport and empathy. To do this you nee to show interest and understanding about your audience needs and problems.
  • You need to know how to effectively open-up conversations. The skill of improvising and be attuned to audience feelings and distractions help you to  customize your presentation as you go.
  • You must find ways to engage and connect emotionally not just presenting facts, bullet point slides and logic.
  • Having the audience answer why they are attending or interested in the presentation needs to be ask at least three times so as to uncover the members “unique” objective or goal for the session.

Adult Learning design principles for connecting:

  • Show passion and belief  for message- by building common ground through sharing values and personal stories; let the audience engage with you by answering questions throughout the presentation; let them know what is important to you ans probe what is important to them;.
  • Be authentic and believable –the more authentic you are perceived to be the easier it will be to connect with you and your message
  • Make your stories, facts and figures come to life by using visuals and being confident in how you present information.
  • Remember in presenting –“less is more” so be concise and present information that is relevant to the audiences experience and needs.

2. Audience-Centered– Capture audience attention by assessing expectations and needs.

3. Purposeful Message–Design message to be “sticky “ and memorable

4. Ripple to  Waves–Stimulate curousity and challenge  audience point of view and actions

Secrets of Coaching: Power of T.R.U.S.T.

T.R.U.S.T.

                       

Five- Step Master Coaching and Change Model

 

Step 1.  TELL the Truth to yourself and others – Be clear on change wanted and goals. Tell truth to yourself and others… no lies, be authentic, open and do the right thing in interaction. (Stop)

  Continue reading “Secrets of Coaching: Power of T.R.U.S.T.”