Daily Quote: “Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.” Victor Frankl
When will the day come when the risk to stay stuck and unfulfilled are more painful than creating a new you with a purpose for making a difference in life?
Reflection: Want to re-strategize your life’s purpose and future direction? Most of us are at a loss when it seems time to renew or create a new direction in life. The main reason we have difficulty in answering this critical question and getting stuck is our fear of the unknown; for example, what if I choose the wrong path and the consequences are terrible. Other questions can I afford to make a change, finding the courage to handle the risks and stopping our living on auto-pilot. What is required is a “structure” for creating our purpose and a “process” for motivating and committing to our new purpose and then sustaining constructive actions
to follow it.
This is what the “structure with process” self-coaching framework provides. You will learn to understand and use proven self-discovery tools and techniques to find your passion and craft your future pathway to your dreams. A mastery in self-coaching support and focuses thinking, attention and positive action by becoming more self-aware about your true strengths and skills, values, personality preferences, wants and needs skills, and even your fears and internal and external barriers to choice and self-direction. Power questions are a bnasis for starting the self-coaching process—Do you truly know who you are what you want in life. The answer will provide the “why” in life and Victor Frankl once said: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’…Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible…“By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to stress that the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic “the self-transcendence of human existence.” It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself–be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself–by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love–the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.” Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
“The process of the good life is not, I am convinced, a life for the faint-hearted. It involves the stretching and growing of becoming more and more of ones potentialities. It involves the courage to be. It means launching oneself fully into the stream of life.” Carl Rogers
Reflection : My favorite wise man of interpersonal connections is Dr. Carl Rogers, father of the humanistic movement called Client-Centered Therapy. His humanistic approach to working with clients challenged Freud and Skinner as a thought leader because he believed in the potential of people not just focusing on their sickness or weaknesses. He believed in providing a client-centered environment where people could work on solving their own issues. here are some his favorite questions:–What have you ever dreamed of becoming? What are the limits and conditions that interfere with you becoming the person you want to be? Reflect on the most important compliments and praise you ever received ? When in your life did you experience unconditional positive regard? These questions reflect the notion that Unconditional positive regard is a core condition to a healthy and vibrant life. Also a core condition is the acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does is the road to becoming a fully functioning person. To grow a person needs an environment an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with respect and dignity) and empathy (being listened to and understood). Without these, relationships and healthy personalities will not develop as they should, much like a tree will not grow without sunlight and water.
Rogers believed that every person can achieve their goals, wishes and desires in life because life is not determined and predestined. I think his greatest contribution was the optimistic view that we behave as we do because of the way we perceive our situation and experiences in life. “As no one else can know how we perceive, we are the best experts on ourselves.” When a person is self-aware and clear on their strengths and weaknesses and acts to always keep growing or becoming , we are congruent and self actualization can take place.
Activity: So the question to reflect on today is that if you believe that within every person there is a “best self” capable of goodness, happiness, and choices what is standing in your way from creating the best you can be?
“I want to be remembered for being there with my laughter and smile.This provides happiness others need 2 get through tough moments.”
For many of us reflection and exploration about the sources of our happiness is as difficult as it is inevitable. Everyone at some time or another is faced with these Existential questions? What do I want out of life? How do I improve my happiness and quality of life? What are my core values in living a meaningful life? What drives my meaning in day-to-day behavior and choices? For me living your values and formulating principles of the “good life” means being aware and aligning activities with what we value.
Going back to the 50’s ” Abraham Maslow proposed a “Hierarchy of Needs” theory of how people can become blocked or successful in developing into a Self-Actualized person. According to the Theory more satisfied and happy with their lives the more they move toward independence, autonomy and self-actualization.. See the chart below to review the Hierarchy,
The Atlantic Journal today published highlights and insights about the validity and accuracy of Maslow’s Theory for modern-day living. In fact when you dig into the latest research by Social Psychologists at the University of Illinois, they say Maslow got the needs right but focused too much on self-fullment rather the interpersonal components and importance of social needs like belonging and love. According to the lead researcher Dr. Ed Dinner, a University of Illinois psychologist and Senior Gallop researcher, in a recent international survey reported in the current edition of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. , concludes that survey findings show “Maslow got right that there are universal human needs beyond the physiological needs that everyone recognizes, But it turns out people are inherently more social. We are called the social animal now. ”
So before you reflect the next time on the Existential questions of life i asked earlier you might want to review these latest findings. As usual let us know about the insights you gained in this reflection activity.