Plus One Technique: Showing Appreciation the MMFI Rule

Daily Quote: “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” Mary Kay Ash

Reflection:
I think that this Plus One technique of Making Others Feel Important (MMFI)is a very powerful way to provide a climate for excellence in performance. Many employees tell me that they seldom or hardly ever receive any appreciation for a job well done from their managers. Appreciation or acknowledgement are at the heart of creating a positive climate at work. Noticing the effort and commitment of employees can be one of the strongest motivators for reinforcing and encourage the highest quality of work. Positive feedback which is delivered immediately after the action takes place sends a strong message that a person’s has been noticed and appreciated. The message from many managers who ignore the good works of employees is that you are expected to perform at high levels and the only time you will hear from a manager is when you screw-up. This “management by exception” method leaves employees in the dark and feels like they are only going to be recognized when things have gone wrong.In my experience this management approach is demoralizing and creates a”cover your ass” culture.

Self-Coaching Challenge: How will you make someone feel important today? Who is it you are going to make the effort to MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT? Remember to be specific in your statement of appreciation and genuine. To see more on the use of the MMFI Rule see my past post http://wp.me/pnKb1-1Vn. This post will provide more specifics on this powerful management concept.
Over the next week keep track of the MMFI you handout and capture the events in your Personal Leadership Journal. Making this type of behavior a part of who you are will not only lift the spirits of employees but also make you feel good.

Story Telling: The Women who Changed my Life Through Unconditional Love

Are you important? I hope you said “Yes” to yourself! I’m important and you’re important because we are all unique and different in our own right. We’re all unique people with unique and special gifts. Our importance is not always recognized and appreciated but we are still special. You do not have to be a celebrity to be important. Just ask your spouse, kids, parents, grandparents, friends or coworkers.

Everyday more and more people are discovering the power of story telling. Stories facilitate teaching life lessons and how people turn the moral lesson of stories into their values and then into to daily action. It is how we construct who we are and are place in this world.

Let me share one quick story. I knew an older woman in her late 60’s till she was 85+ years old who was an important person in my growing up and feeling good about me. She lost her husband at age 60 and never re-married she like telling me stories of her life, listening to the radio and working in the garden. She was a wonderful addition to our family; someone who was always willing to listen and comfort me.  She had not done anything that would make her famous but she’s important nonetheless. Who is this person? My Grandmother Annabelle Savage. If it were not for her I would not feel such a strong belief in myself. She believed I had the potential to do any thing I wanted to do. She was always on my side. What a wonderful and caring women.  From my limited perspective my grandma was very important and I’m sure from my brothers and sister viewpoints because she was a buffer from the strong mother and dad we had. Even my young friends who interacted with her came away feeling important and respected. She was the psychologist in chief for our family from the time I was six years old till the sad day we had to put her in a nursing home when I was twenty-one. A great role model and a wonderful friend who provided me support and ignited a belief in myself. She told me stories about her life, taught me baseball and let me enjoy the Green Hornet and Helen Trent  radio programs with her.

What I took away from this important and loving relationship was that every day as we meet people if we “make them feel important and respected” they’ll sense that and of course they’ll like us for it too.

 Don’t you enjoy it when people treat you like you’re important? It can be humbling at times but I know I enjoy it and I bet you do too. If we enjoy it then why not spread the joy and allow others to feel the same way? Here are a few simple things anyone can do to convey a sense of importance to another person:

  • Show respect – Respect comes easily through small geatures with phrases like, ” Go on I am Listening, Tell me more,”  “Yes please,” “No thank you,” “Excuse me”.  These are simple and none assumes anything from the other person.
  • Golden Rule – Treat people the way you’d like to be treated or the way you’d like someone to treat a loved one. This kind of behavior tends “to go around and come” back to you.
  • Self-fulfilling prophecy–  give the other person expectations to live up too This actually effects their self-esteem and many times creates an optimistic attitude toward life. Conveying belief in another person can help them do more than they thought possible and make them feel more important than ever before. Everyday try to give gift of the “self-fulfilling prophecy” and MMFI  concept.
  • Provide unconditional love and respect to all the people who you interact with.

We make requests of people every single day because we need other people. Recognizing that fact, this blog helps you learn to hear “Yes!” The more friends you make, the easier it is to influence people and hear “Yes!” But it’s not just about getting what you want. It’s about building relationships and enjoying our lives more because of those relationships. Make another person feel important today and that’s one step in the right direction in creating and making a difference in life.

Self-Coaching Challenge: What one thing are you going to do this weekend to make someone feel more important?

Leadership Journey–How does Obama measure-up to these Six Laws of Leadership

“The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.”  Theodore M. Hesburgh

How has President Obama  done in developing a compelling narrative? Has his governing vision and priorities for policy actions aligned with his campaign promises? What has been his style of leadership?  In what ways has he and his team succeed in creating Change we can believe-In? Were the problems to big and expectations to great for his team to produce meaningful results that make a difference in your life? He can refuse to let himself and his team off the hook for not delivering on the promises of hope and change. This would help focus his team on helping people and producing results that matter or he  can continue to reflect on the way Bush and his team have left the country in shambles. Either way this is not a winning strategy for growing and developing a more robust and growing economy that creates meaningful jobs. In reading the recent, New York Times article on the Obama’s reflections on his first two years entitled The Education of President Obama –http://nyti.ms/cmmWTB. I was struck by the many insights about his leadership style that seemed so different from the campaigner we thought we were electing.  So I went back and re-read the article to see how Obama and his team measures up to what I consider Six important Laws of Leadership.

Continue reading “Leadership Journey–How does Obama measure-up to these Six Laws of Leadership”

Optimal Presentation State– How to make it Happen

Optimal Presentation State

  1. Put your audience first—presenting is persuasion and influence based on evidence and reliable facts before, during and after the speech. Rule # 1 be prepared to answer the top of the mind question—What’s in it for me (WII-FM) to listen to your presentation?
  2. Create a unique connect—build rapport and create psychologically comfort environment. Audiences need to know you care. Rule # 2 use the Make Me Feel Important (MMFI) feedback process.
  3. Get their attention—focus on their needs and wants not yours
  4. Manage your FEARS by using nervous energy in positive way—No Making Stuff up (MSU’s) and negative self-talk.  Try proven relaxation techniques.
  5. Follow proven structure for developing presentation—opening, main points and close.
  6. Use the stickiness approach—connect in unique ways, be clear, concise and compelling = Credibility
  7. Walk the Talk—present evidence based proof, realistic examples and compelling stories.
  8. Remember that small things make a big difference—focus on the 3V’s (visual, verbal and vocal ) to add variety and reach different learning styles in the audience 
  9. Be responsive to Q/A—treat your audience as you would want to be treated if the positions were reversed
  10. Practice the right skills through “deliberative practice—Trust yourself and have fun.

Dr.Mark’s Rules for Constructive Living–Grandma teaches me the “MMFI” Concept

Make Me Feel Important (MMFI Rule)–The power of focusing on others and making them feel important can lead to more positive connections.

We’ve been making our way through Constructive Living ideas as a way for you to develop a meaningful and fulfilling life. In this blog I will focus on the power of the MMFI Rule.

Are you important? I hope you said “Yes” to yourself! I’m important and you’re important because we are all unique and different in our own right. We’re all unique people with unique and special gifts. Our importance is not always recognized and appreciated but we are still special. You do not have to be a celebrity to be important. Just ask your spouse, kids, parents, grandparents, friends or coworkers.

I remember the sudden death of my father; he was strong and demanding father who was ambitious and ran his family as a command and control general; but when he died students and friends came out of the woodwork to celebrate his fairness, kindness and willingness to give the less fortunate a break. He never became a T.V. celebrity. Yet had a huge impact on the lives of people at the University and community he served. We just did not hear about until his death.  I share this story not to dump on my father’s legacy; but because of the lesson I learned – you and I are important and so is every other person you come in contact with…whether they realize it or not. Every life is important. That’s right; many people live their lives in quiet desperation, feeling unimportant; and if you and I believe they are important and treat them with respect and consideration great things can happen!

Let me share one quick story. I knew an older woman in her 70’s till she was 90+ years old who was an important person in my growing up and feeling good about myself. She lost her husband at age 60 and never re-married  She like listening to the radio and  working in the garden. She was a wonderful addition to our family; someone who was always willing to listen and comfort you.  She’s had not done anything that will make her famous but she’s important nonetheless. Who is this person? My Grandmother Annabelle Savage. If it were not for her I would not feel such a strong belief in myself. She believed I had the potential to do any thing I wanted to do. She was always on my side. What a wonderful and caring women.  From my limited perspective my grandmom was very important and I’m sure from my brothers and sister viewpoints because she was a buffer from the strong mother and dad we had. Even my young friends who interacted with her came away feeling important and respected. She was the psychologist in chief for our family from the time I was six years old till the sad day we had to put her in a nursing home when I was twenty-one. A great role model and a wonderful friend who provided me support and ignited a belief in myself. She told me stories about her life, taught me baseball and let me enjoy the Green Hornet and Helen Trent  radio programs with her.

What I took away from this important relationship was that every day as we meet people if we make them feel import they’ll sense that. Of course they’ll like us for it too.

Don’t you enjoy it when people treat you like you’re important? It can be humbling at times but I know I enjoy it and I bet you do too. If we enjoy it then why not spread the joy and allow others to feel the same way? Here are a few simple things anyone can do to convey a sense of importance to another person: Continue reading “Dr.Mark’s Rules for Constructive Living–Grandma teaches me the “MMFI” Concept”

Dr. Mark’s Rules: How to Make Presentations Sticky

“Speech is power; Speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There has been a lot of dialogue and ideas lately on how to make ideas sticky. This all started with Malcolm Gladwell, in his hot book, Tipping Point. Recently, the Heath brother’s book Made to Stick came on the scene. They used a clever memory jogger called SUCCESs which laid out the elements of a stcky message. I recommend you read both books they provide good insight in how to make your messages more insightful. Continue reading “Dr. Mark’s Rules: How to Make Presentations Sticky”