“Give the people around you the benefit of the doubt. Ascribe to them positive motivations, and hope they do the same for you.” MWH
Acceptance means to listen, observe, understand, acknowledge, and when appropriate communicating openingly and with directness. Above all try to keep the heat at lower temperature so others can be heard. Watch your tone and keep your finger on the pause button so as to assess the current situation, confront your thinking and false beliefs and then choose a response.
- Clarify and agree to agenda and expectations for your time together
- Monitor and edit yourself. Sincerely listen and try to meet the needs, interest, and concerns of others; do not start by giving advice; try to listen and understand their needs and wants. Show them that you have their best interest at heart.
- Soften your “start up.”Be friendly and welcoming to person. Too much, too soon and too strong usually lead to resistance by audience members.
- Accept influence. A difficult conversation succeeds to the extent that the presenter can accept influence from the other person. Be responsive to comments or concerns of the person. Ask questions to clarify misunderstandings.
- Remember the best feedback is straightforward and simple. Don’t beat around the bush. Respect and encourage candid dialogue by trying to become a better listener, providing specific and tangible examples of behavior and its impact and confront in a caring way. Learned to turn down your volume and use your mute button when angry feelings bubble-up. Model the good communication habits you would like others to practice.
- Focus on the optimistic “POV”. Try to understand person’s view of the world. In an open and positive communication that works for both of you. Problems and solutions are discussed in a “matter of fact” tone and comments to each other need to be in a ratio 5 to one. Meaning five times as many positive statements are communicated for every one negative statement
- Learn to respect and appreciate differences in styles.
- Take time-out if conversation gets heated. Set time to be continued.
- End with small-steps for change and set next meeting to evaluate progress.