“Everything is possible but nothing is certain.” Vaclav Havel
When starting to build a developmental plan or to re-do a broken dream remember the power of reframing. When talking with yourself build confidence by acceptancing the cornerstone for change–start where you are by assessing reality and not where you think you should be. Don’t be afraid to fail. Instead, worry about the opportunities you miss when you don’t step and try. Positive keys to overcoming barriers–trust yourself, eliminate negative thinking, check your ideas and thoughts with others, build confidence by taking one step at a time. Be careful to align your values, gifts and vision. Continue reading “Personal Dreams–Make them happen !!”
“You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” John Molloy
I have been talking about the effective of “first impressions” for the last couple of blogs. I hope the evidence has been through enough for you to now realize how it impacts your interpersonal relationships and opportunities. Oviously, the effect is more than most of us think. Some of you may dismiss this concept as others being superficial but the truth is “first impressions” communicate to others how you feel about yourself and what you stand for. Also, be aware that others will very seldom level or tell you what they think or feel because this is a very personal and sensitive issue. You can help findout more by openingly asking what they think and how you came across when they first met you. When receiving the feedback don’t become defensive or blow people off; this can be valuable information for self-development. Now let’s talk more about how “first impressions” lead to a feeling and concept called–Leadership Presence.
Let’s begin by defining Leadership Presence–It is the way a person carries and presents himself to others. In leadership parlance, it is a person who is at ease and comfortable in their own skin and with diverse people in many situations; be it at a bowling alley or at a Congressional budget hearing. Those who have “it” are relaxed and composed under pressure and can connect quickly, communicate in a clear and compelling manner, skillfully handle difficult situations and look, sound and act in ways that inspire others to follow them. And without followers their is no leader. Beyond that, Presence is the ability to inspire people one to one, in small groups or large audiences, build strong relationships, impress and influence others and be accepted by diverse followers.Sounds like you need to walk on water.
For some people, extroverts , executive presence is a natural extension of who they are but for others developing executive presence will require some developmental work.
You might ask where and how do I start to develop these critical leadership skill?
Here is my Smart-Step Prescription for you:
1. Assess what you do well now and keep doing those things.
2. Next gather feedback on what you need to improve.
3. Focus on changing your likeability. For example, practice using your natural warm smile or making steady eye contact with others (3-5 seconds).
4. Just like changing you golf swing get a video of yourself presenting, conducting a staff meeting or interviewing someone.
5. Get feedback on how you come across and impact others. This feedback analysis will help identify blind spots and strengths.
6. Remember Practice makes Permanent and Perfect Practice makes Perfect.
These reflective and feedback actions will help you fine tune your natural strengths and improve your ability to connect and make positive first impressions.
“In times of change it is the learners who inherit the future. Those who have finished learning find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer, Social Commentator and author
How to impact “First Impressions”
We have all had the experience of feeling immediately connected to someone and the opposite experience of disliking someone on first meeting.
Researchers vary on their conclusions whether this takes 2-3 seconds or 15 seconds. The exact timing is unimportant lets just say we make very quick snap judgments about others. So how to make the most of these encounters becomes important for all of us. Of course, the most important thing whether it be a social meeting or a business contact is –how to make these interpersonal connections work for and not against you. As I discussed in the last posting most of the judgments made are immediate and instinctive, so the challenge is to see if we can influence or impact the way other people perceive us. Continue reading “Unique Connect #3 –How to Impact “first impression bias””
“Personal Responsibility is power; Performance is to persuade, to convert, to compel.” Ralph Emerson
Hey, just an apology and warning for the future, I have been very busy on a couple of coaching assignments, presentation workshops and designing a new approach for communicating and connecting with people called Presentation of Self through Smart-Step Training ( more on this later). So that is why the blog has been quiet since mid-April. Lately, I find it difficult to keep focused on a client engagement, be creative with my development and design work and also blog. The reason I find it difficult is all about energy and balance. I am trying to put in place some of the ideas of Toughness Training. This personal change process is all about energy expendure (stress) and restoring energy (recovery) which Dr. James Loehr writes about in his two books Toughness Training for Life and Power of Full Engagement. These books will change your life. My AHA was that I needed to balance my energy not manage my time to become more effective and satisfied with my work and life. The project I am now working on is to try and to find the right balance between stress and recovery in my life. You may have noticed by now that my posting tends to be a bit of a roller coaster. This is because of my energy cycle is erratic. So don’t be disappointed if you check the blog regularly, and find yourself annoyed that there ain’t much activity. I am engaged in renewal and recover so I can bring you the best of my thinking. Remember, change is all we can count on in life.
But wait — there’s a solution to this problem! I took the free Full Engagement Profile to see how I am able to integrate my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of my work and life. I scored an 80% which means I am engaged and energized by work and life but still need some work in the spirtual and physical areas to become Fully Engaged. More info for you at http://www.hpinstitute.com Good Luck on finding out your level of engagement in life and let me know if any personal change projects emerge from your reading and reflection.
Five- Step Master Coaching and Change Model
Step 1. TELL the Truth to yourself and others – Be clear on change wanted and goals. Tell truth to yourself and others… no lies, be authentic, open and do the right thing in interaction. (Stop)
Continue reading “Secrets of Coaching: Power of T.R.U.S.T.”