THE STRATEGY OF INCONVENIENCE Vs. AWFUL
Be strong enough to control your upsetness, stress and anger instead of letting it control you…
The strategy of replacing awful with inconvenience reduces our reactive anger response and keeps us from doing either stupid or inappropriate actions. It is not astonishing that our perception of an event is colored by our attitude and how we think and then react to a difficult situation. We’re influenced by our fears and beliefs about fairness. Also, we seem to be hard wired to create disaster fantasies about the future using “what if “scenarios. The more we define an event as awful the more energy, stress, amount of effort, time, and poor decision making can be triggered by the fight or flight response in our primitive brain areas. .The result of this thinking can lead to unconscious and usually unproductive behavior. Saying something is inconvenient provides us time to put the event in a more workable and productive mental and emotional perspective.
Reflections: Therefore, to squelch a bad reaction to situations, we can tell ourselves it is inconvenient that we locked our keys in the trunk of a rental car but not awful which pushes our reactions quickly to a crisis situation. We also can take proactive measures by removing ourselves from the situation for a moment of reflection and deep breathing. To stop hitting the awful response we need to be more aware of the triggers that derail our more rational and reflective response send to our brain.
Suggested statements to reduce stress and awfulism :
- This to shall pass.
- Will you remember this event 3-5 years from now?
- Of course this traffic is inconvenient and yet it is not awful.
- This (flu) is inconvenient but it could have been worse.
Self-Coaching Challenge: Next time you are upset about something that just happened try out the inconvenient strategy. Let me know if it works.