Daily Quote: Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever.” Deepak Chopra
Focusing on Self 3 –Overcome Frustrations in Real Time
Step 1 – Notice and Acknowledge frustration
Before we can overcome a negative thought, we need to learn how to become proficient at noticing when frustration or disappointment with your performance appears. Most of the time we’re on automatic pilot, and we experience our thoughts and emotions in a kind of amorphous and foggy ways. To get out of autopilot, the next 2 times you play tennis, commit to the intention of noticing your negative self talk and frustrations. When you realize you’re frustrated and having negative thoughts playing or in between points, acknowledge it by saying silently to yourself, ‘there’s Mr. Frustration’. Then take a few moments to acknowledge it is there and then re-focus on the next point and play on.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with your frustration. It’s a normal human emotion, and we don’t have to get rid of it or try to push it down. If we try to push it down, our focus on it will just create a moment where it just re-emerges with more force. So, when it arises, just let it be there. All you need to do is notice and acknowledge it and move on to the next point.
You can continue this practice off the court in other situations when you feel frustration. Deliberate practice off the court will help you notice it more effectively on the court.
Once you’ve practiced this step over 3 consecutive tennis sessions, move on to Step 2.
Overcome Frustrations Step 2 – Redirect your Attention
Now, whenever you play tennis, after doing Step 1 (noticing and acknowledging anger), redirect your attention to your breathing for 3 breaths. You can FOCUS ON BREATHING IN and holding your breathe and pushing it down to your belly for about 5 seconds. After the second breath, simply continue playing.
So, the whole practice of mindfulness looks like this:
a) Notice Frustration
b) Acknowledge it by Saying Silently, ‘There’s Frustration’.
c) Redirect Your Attention and focus to Your Breathing for 2 Breaths, Before Playing On by saying NEXT POINT…
Self-Coaching Challenge: For one week practice accepting negative thoughts by acknowledging when they are present and then moving on. You can use this mindfulness technique at home, work or when playing tennis, golf, swimming or riding your bike.
Just commit to doing this mindful practice by completing this goal statement
I will practice mindfulness during the following week when I _____________________________________________________________________.