Daily Self-Coaching Quote, Reflection and Challenge: Gauging Your Goodness and Self-Worth

Daily Quote:  You are responsible for creating your worth and meaning in life. These won’t be given to you. Therefore, no one can take them away. You are worthy because you make it so. Mark W. Hardwick  

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.”  Wayne Dyer 

Reflection:

As far as self-worth goes I believe that we are all responsible for creating our  own sense of worth and meaning in life. These are not things that can be given to you by others. You must work to gain and feel them. Therefore, no one can take them away. There is nothing you need to do to become more worthy. People sometimes say I am not worth of such praise or treatment by others. The fact is you are worthy of all things that come to you. It is my experience that when I don’t feel worthy of something I am not necessary talking worth as a living breathing human being but confusing worth with self-belief. Self-esteem or belief is how you think, feel and regard yourself. This self belief may come from past experiences or lessons taught to you when you were young. If you were taught to be perfect, in an imperfect world, accepting and believing in your self might be difficult.  If this “perfection pattern” is true for you some of the issues it may cause you are: procrastination because the project or presentation needs to be perfect, difficulty in taking on appropriate risks because you might fail or overly anxious about how other people perceive or interact with you. The need to be perfect is a high bar to overcome because the standards for performing are unrealistic. Remember all human beings are fallible and not perfect. This type of perfection need can usually lead to low self-belief and self-esteem.

On the other hand, maybe you were taught to try everything and not to worry about the outcome. An extreme end of this pattern is capture by this comment  “everything you do honey and whatever you do is okay.” From a parental perspective you can do no wrong and are perfectly fine just the way you are. Some would say this pattern will lead to a spoiled and over-indulged person who expects the world to bend with their needs and wants. I am not sure that is true but this “Your OK” pattern does lead to high self-esteem and belief. Of course I have laid out to extremes and my experience tells me that most of us fortunately fall some where between the “perfection” and I am OK patterns. We have learn to be and accept ourselves as being fallible, responsible, kind, self-assured and caring about ourselves and others.  This “I am OK and You Too” pattern leads to a more healthy and realistic self-esteem and belief in self. To create this balanced and healthy self-belief you need to just remember this one thing: give 100% commitment to what you are doing now, do the right and good thing in every possible situation you can control and then remember those good things you did when life presents difficult things or unfair events happen to you.

Self-Coaching Challenge:

1. Off the top of your head make a list of all the good things you do in life for yourself and others. Include taking care of your health, teeth and other hygiene things bathing and other good things like , washing dishes, keeping car clean, doing laundry, cutting the lawn etc. Community things like volunteering, helping the homeless or hungry etc. Hopefully the list will go on and on. Stop when you have exhausted the good things you do. Don’t forget about colleagues or bosses or customers at work.

2. Now take you list and post it up in your living quarters to remind yourself of the good you do.

3. Take a blank piece of paper and over the next 30 days list some other good things you have done–smiled at a stranger, approach someone you did not know at work or at your club, something special for your significant other, friends, children or other loved ones in your life.

4. At the end of 30 days on a 1 (low) to 10(high) self esteem/self-belief scale where do you rate your behavior and actions.

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