Daily Quote: “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” – Carl Jung
Reflection: Clear thinking does not happen automatically, it has to be nurtured by learning to be open-minded and flexible in looking at situations and people. Smart-step thinking is grounded in listening and exploring opinions, challenging long-held assumptions based on questionable beliefs and asking questions. The Self-Coaching Smart-Step conversation is a collaborative and give and take which can help in creating a positive climate for dealing with difficult people. The key ingredient for sealing with difficult people is self-understanding. Ask yourself –what is happening and what button is being pushed that sends your mind and emotions off the track of reasonable and clear thinking? Remember we do not need to take up and confront every argument or annoyance we experience in life. Sometimes ignoring or using silence is the best remedy for conflict. The people who really annoy and anger us are usually very good at pushing our “hot buttons”.
Self-Coaching Challenge: In your self-coaching journal identify a recent interaction where you had a difficult person to deal with and the interaction did not go very well.
1. What was the situation and who was involved. What were your “hot buttons that were pushed?
2. What assumptions, information and expectations were discussed?
3. Is the “hot button” one that has caused you problems in the past with this person or others?
4. Now that time has passed are you able to pinpoint the reasons for the poor conversation?
5. Lesson learned—how might you have handle this situation in a more productive or different way?