Communication approaches that block effectiveness and undermine personal connections in group meetings.
JUDGING – evaluating or judging the other person or his/her status or ideas. This involves not listening for reasons or explanations, but instead putting the ideas down or implying the other person is wrong.
CONTROLLING – trying to change or restrict someone’s behavior or attitude by imposing a set of values or beliefs on them. A person who engages in this behavior has a high need to be in control of others and the situation.
SUPERIORITY – communicating a feeling of superiority in position, power, or ability that implies the other person can’t be right because of his/her inadequacies. There tends to be a sense of one-upmanship and “know it all” expert to this approach.
CERTAINTY – communicating in a manner that implies the person knows all the answers and does not need or desire any additional information. There is a high need to be right, even to the point of winning an argument rather than solving a problem.
- INDIFFERENCE – showing a lack of interest or concern for the feelings or welfare of the other person that implies what the other person is saying is unimportant. This approach to interpersonal communication undermines the ability to relate to one another and reduces trust a key element of connecting with others.
- MANIPULATING – communicating with hidden motives and agendas. This negative factor undermines openness and in a way signals that you are willing to meet one’s own needs without the regard to the impact on others. This type of communication has a real “gotcha” feel to it.
Self-Coaching Challenge: During the next day or two identify which communication barrier is one that you often use when interacting with your team. Then begin to map-out a new more positive approach using the Plus 1 and Smart-step approach for personal change.