Quote : ” You can’t talk yourself out of what you think is right and rational and yet you can challenge irrational thoughts and choose not to operate or behave like they are true”. Changing behavior can change your thinking”. Coach Mark
Irrational Ideas that Block Your Growth and Development
- Need to be loved or approved by everyone–Give credit away and recognition will come
- Differences make people bad, evil or stupid–Not stupid just different. Differences widen your perspective and help update your mental maps.
- Life is awful when things are not like we want them to be. Not awful just inconvenient.
- It’s easier to avoid difficulties and self-responsibilities. Face difficulties or they get worst
- Happiness is caused externally–Happiness is determined internally by living our values
- The past is the all important determiner of the present and future. No, it is just on factor.
- One can’t admit mistakes or ask for help–Asking shows your strength for growing. Keep your focus on goals and honestly accept responsibility for mistakes and move on.
- One needs someone stronger to rely upon–Better to be interdependent. I depend on you and much as you depend on me. We don’t accomplishes anything important by just relying on others.
- One needs to control and protect others. Focus on others needs and respect their abilities to accomplish things. Be supportive by listening not controlling.
- Need to be competent in all aspects of life —Can’t be perfect. Do the best you can.
Adapted from Albert Ellis—Rational Emotive Therapy
Self-Coaching Exercise: Identify which Irrational Idea is true for you. Keep track daily through this weekend how this irrational belief and thinking affects your life. Develop a plan for changing your approach by identifying what you can do differently. Be more reflective by instituting a feedback loop by enlisting a trusted friend to check your thinking.