Daily Quote: “It’s so beautiful here. I want to come back someday!” “It takes all my persuasive powers, to try to convince her that she is already here.” Elizabeth Gilbert
Reflection: Many people get “stuck” because they are not living in the “here and now” and are not paying attention to experiencing the full pleasure of the moment. Their focus is on the past and what could have been except for bad decisions or a lack of luck. Or they get focused on the ‘what if’s of the future that they do not experience, let alone enjoy, what’s happening right now. We are eating a delicious filet mignon and think, “This is not as good as what I had last week at a much better price.” We are enjoying a run of significant revenue increases because of our relationship with a new client and think, “I hope they keep hiring us for these projects but I am not sure they will because they are talking to other vendors.”
We put enormous amounts of energy into comparing present experiences with past experiences or wondering about what can go wrong in the future. These “disaster fantasies” distract us from enjoying and fully experiencing the moment. Instead, I would recommend staying in the moment and focus or be aware of whatever you’re doing at the present moment that is creating this wonderful thing—what psychologists call savoring. “This could be small things like enjoying your wonderful lunch with a caring and exciting client or colleague, taking a warm shower after a run on the beach, or embracing the feedback of a wonderful presentation. You could be savoring a success or savoring eating your favorite dessert,” explains Dr. Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of The How of Happiness. In this book the author identifies many scientific proven ways to purse happiness not as a “hit and miss” self-help approach but a s a deliberative and proven way to change your happiness quotient. Usually it involves staying in the moment and enjoying your present experience.
The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past over and over again. So, if you focus your attention into the now, rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can’t worry about things that aren’t there.
Challenge: Today count the number of times you stop to savior the moment in your life? If it is two or three try to increase the number in the next week. Capture these moments and how they make you feel in your Self-Coaching journal.