What are the reasons that people have difficulty in seeing each other’s point of view?
This inevitability leads to the inability to clearly and simply without anger to communicate the truth as you see it. if you don’t confront these things your frustrations and anger will build up and can result in a real emotional up-set, withdrawal and avoidance, passive aggressive behavior, defensiveness and conflict. Maybe it is the lack of respect for the other person or the need to have people we call friends and interact with validate our view of the world. I think the key is how we define conflict and caring. Need to control vs. inability to accept others as they are.
The Five Step Caring/Confrontation Technique
1. Active Listening–keep focused on discussion do not personalize; find out what
others really mean and want by asking questions; understand completely the other
person’s point of view before trying to be understood; create room for understanding
2. Soften your “criticism.” of self . Do not quit if you feel overwhelmed. Practice this technique–STOP. Reflect. Challenge your thinking and keep moving forward.
3. Help people identify core values and understand and appreciate other viewpoints as
legitimate. Encourage them to not judge people’s intentions.
4. Establish what you have control over and what is appropriate to confront. Remember there are somethings in life that you just can not control. Accept this reality and move-on.
5. Use humor not sarcasm to diffuse differences but do not avoid confronting differences so as to gain more understanding.
What do people choose when they have freedom and permission of a supportive and understanding coach?
What will it take for you to be more authentic and assertive? To be the self you truly are. Fill-in this sentence completion with three different responses to get your self going.
In order to be more confronting and assertive I will have to____________________________________________________________. to____________________________________________________________. to____________________________________________________________.
Now build an action plan for changing your behavior by setting a thirty-day goal for change using the SMART system of goal setting.