Daily Quote and Reflection: Difficult Process of Self-Coaching and Being “stuck”

Daily Quote: “People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.” Oliver Goldsmith

Reflection: Most research shows that we are not very accurate in identifying how we are perceived by others. For example, most leaders of organizations see themselves as more honest, open and caring etc. than how direct reports and other employees in the organization see them. Our positive picture of ourselves is usually inaccurate because the higher we go in an organization the more isolated we become from feedback and honest communication from others and we suffer from what psychologist call confirmation bias. “Confirmation bias refers to a type of selective thinking whereby one tends to notice and to look for what confirms one’s beliefs, and to ignore, not look for, or undervalue the relevance of what contradicts one’s beliefs.”

Action Response: Try to establish close relationship with a mentor who can guide and share their wisdom with you. If you can’t find a mentor try to create more room for learning by stopping and examining behaviors, approaches and old ways that are not working for you. Seek out resources including audio tapes, books and colleagues who are good listeners. You may feel alone in your struggle but be assured others have confronted and worked through situations and problems that you think are unique to you. Remember good intentions without thoughtful action  will just keep you stuck. Keep trying to develop a change plan that can work for you.  And as Steve Jobs once said: “Never, never give-up”.

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