“The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.” Marcel Proust
Irrational Ideas that Block Your Growth and Development
- Need to be loved or approved by everyone–Give credit away and recognition will come
- Differences make people bad, evil or stupid–Not stupid just different. Differences wwiden your perspective and help update your mental maps.
- Life is awful when things are not like we want them to be. Not awful just inconvenient.
- It’s easier to avoid difficulties and self-responsibilities. Face difficulties or they get worst
- Happiness is caused externally–Happiness is determined internally by living our values
- The past is the all important determiner of the present and future. No, it is just on factor.
- One can’t admit mistakes or ask for help–Asking shows your strength for growing. Create a no Bullshit Support Team. Keep focus on goals and honestly accept responsibility for mistakes and move on.
- One needs someone stronger to rely upon–Better to be interdependent. I depend on you and much as you depend on me. We don’t accomplishes anything important by ourself.
- One needs to control and protect others. Focus on others needs and respect their abilities to accomplish things. Be supportive by listening not controlling.
- Need to be competent in all aspects of life —Can’t be perfect. Do the best you can.
Adapted from Albert Ellis—Rational Emotive Therapy
Exercise: Identify which Irrational Ideas are true for you. Keep track this week how many times a particular IRRATIONAL IDEA is operating in your life. Develop a plan for changing your thinking by identifying how you can think differently. By paying attention of your impact and listening to feedback from significant others. They can provide straight talk about how your actions impact others. Then you can decide what you need to change to be a more effective and congruent person. The congruent person has more comfort in life because their “inner thoughts” and feelings match what you show or do with and to others.