“It all starts in your head…(Success) begins by trying to make each day count…If you sincerely try to make each day a masterpiece, angles can do no better.” John Wooden, Hall of Fame Basketball Coach, UCLA
Irrational Ideas that Block Your Growth and Development
- Need to be loved or approved by everyone–Give credit away and recognition will come
- Differences make people bad, evil or stupid–Not stupid just different. Differences wwiden your perspective and help update your mental maps.
- Life is awful when things are not like we want them to be. Not awful just inconvenient.
- It’s easier to avoid difficulties and self-responsibilities. Face difficulties or they get worst
- Happiness is caused externally–Happiness is determined internally by living our values
- The past is the all important determiner of the present and future. No, it is just on factor.
- One can’t admit mistakes or ask for help–Asking shows your strength for growing. Create a no Bullshit Support Team. Keep focus on goals and honestly accept responsibility for mistakes and move on.
- One needs someone stronger to rely upon–Better to be interdependent. I depend on you and much as you depend on me. We don’t accomplishes anything important by ourself.
- One needs to control and protect others. Focus on others needs and respect their abilities to accomplish things. Be supportive by listening not controlling.
- Need to be competent in all aspects of life —Can’t be perfect. Do the best you can.
Adapted from Albert Ellis—Rational Emotive Therapy
Exercise: Identify which Irrational Idea is true for you. Keep track daily how this is displayed in your life. Develop a plan for changing your approach by identifying what you can do differently. Be more reflective by instituting a feedback loop by enlisting colleagues onto your No Bullshit Support Team. They can provide straight talk about how your actions impact others. The team can identify what you need to change to be a more effective and open communicator. Commit to using the Smart-Step Personal Change process.
Here is the Smart-Step Personal Change process:
1. All change agents are driven by an overarching purpose or vision. This purpose fuels their motivation to produce positive results. To find your purpose, ask yourself –why you are setting a given goal and use answers to drive actions.
2. Next, write down your change goals — it is like planting seeds and then watering them. Writing goals “programs them into your mind and helps you recognize opportunities for attaining them.”
3. This step involves quantifying your change goals. Express success in ways you can measure, touch or count. Being specific helps you chart your progress and makes success more tangible.
4. Next, break goals into individual smart-steps which can be tackled one at a time. We often become stuck because we make our goals so big . Starting small makes your goals believable and attainable.
5. Develop your strategic plan. Include what you will need to learn in order to accomplish your goal… (and) identify the people, groups, and organizations whose support can help you. Once your strategy is complete, you’re ready for the final ingredient: action and continuous improvement through learning. Model yourself after someone you admire. Are you “walking the talk” of personal re-invention by practicing continuous learning? Learning helps us to develop in new directions, build on our interests and strengths. Adapt and flex to change and new circumstances. Do not get stuck with old approaches, outdated skills and rigid mental maps. Be willing to adapt and adjust, because a rapidly changing world requires innovation and new mental outlooks and tools for surviving. Are you doing your part to keep from getting stuck and stiff ?