Reflection: The key idea in this quote for me is the notion of having a vision of excellence that guides your daily activities. Once you create and own a personal vision then your purpose and strategies for fulfillment fall into alignment. As Tom Peters, the management and leadership consultant once said a leader  ” allows people to become more than they’ve ever dreamed of being”.Tom Peters on Excellence

Action Assignment: What is your personal vision of excellence?

People also need to know that you, as a leader, are in touch with practical solutions and the reality of creating solutions to complex problems. One such organization over the last ten years under the direction of a transforming leader has been IBM. I recommend that you read about Sam Palmisano retired as CEO of IBM on Dec. 31, 2011. His tenure is a model of a pragmatic visionary who renewed  a floundering and stuck organization. Warren Buffett said one of the reasons he recently bought 10.7 billion of IBM stock is because Palamisano “delivers big time”.  See http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2011/11/18/sam-palmisano-ibm/

Now I have to revise and extent my remarks and viewpoint because of new information from the field of cognitive psychology. Recent studies by cognitive psychologists report that the key to keep a persons attention is only  8 seconds not 60 as reported in the past research. In researching the idea I discovered that the length of time the average human can concentrate on something and not lose focus is as little as 8 seconds. OMG just Eight seconds!  Sixity seconds, then, was way too long for getting attention for your presentation. You know how you hear something in a conversation and you lean in because you want to hear the rest of it? That’s what you want from your audience in the first 8 seconds of your speech.

If you accomplish that in those 8 seconds, they’ll give you the next 5 minuets  to drive your message home with no bull. It’s not establishing your credentials or reviewing the agenda.  It’s about what’s in it for the audience members to go listening to your message.

Connecting with the audience is one of the most challenging elements of creating a climate for an interaction and engagement :

• You must be ready to start with high energy and hit your marks perfectively so to keep the audience engaged and curious about your topic
• Connecting is all about observation and building rapport and empathy. To do this you nee to show interest and understanding about your audience needs and problems.
• You need to know how to effectively open-up conversations. The skill of improvising and be attuned to audience feelings and distractions help you to  customize your presentation as you go.
• You must find ways to engage and connect emotionally not just presenting facts, bullet point slides and logic.
• Having the audience answer why they are attending or interested in the presentation needs to be ask at least three times so as to uncover the members “unique” objective or goal for the session.

Exceptional communicators meet or anticipate audience needs. They meet or exceed expectations period. Exceptional presenters gather information on the audience before or during the presentation by asking questions. Their goal is to share relevant information and move the audience to think differently and to something with the new information. So exceptional presenters are aware that before an audience member can agree and use the information and insights being presented…they have to understand you and connect with your message. This is no time to use jargon or overwhelm them with your expertise. To influence you must speak to the them directly and clearly in commonly understood vocabulary.

So what are the five power sources that provide you with the ability to influence your listening audience:

1. Use classic structure for designing your speech so it is easy to follow and understand. Such as, parallel structuring–problem/solution, features /benefits, and compare and contrast formats.

2. In the first 8 Seconds–grab their attention and curiosity by surprising them with an engaging story, a powerful and relevant quote or a little known statistic or fact

3. Set a positive, safe and comfortable learning environment by listening to their ideas or experience about the topic to be covered by the presentation. For example if you are presenting on what it takes to be an excellent speaker. Ask the audience when was the last time a speaker captured their attention and motivated them to do something different in their life? Ask them to turn to their neighbor and share their experience and be ready to report what characteristics made it a memorable experience rather than a yawner?

4.   Early in the opening of the speech make the audience feel important (MMFI) principle of engagement  by paying attention to their comments or sharing some insight you gather during the “meet and greet” time before the speech or in an observation you made during the last speech. This shows respect and the ability to want to connect with them and their interest.

5. Get to the Point and Message of your speech within 90 seconds of starting. Repeat the message often and close by seeing if they got it.

Communication skills are often addressed in relation to abilities – the ability to listen, to accurately convey information, select the appropriate channel and to speak to others with clarity, respect and dignity.  As a presentation and communication coach I know at times their is a need for improvement in skills, but more often than not, the issue is not ability; it is willingness (attitude) to be open to feedback and to try new things .  At other times, it is true that adult learners must sometimes “unlearn” practices and habits they have been using for years. This factor is called the “curse of knowledge” by by adult learning experts such as Chris Argyris  Yet in the final analysis, people often have the skills or ability to listen, ask effective questions and share information; they simply choose not to be open to change (attitude). 

What are your ideas about facilitating learning and change with Adult Learners?

One of the most frequently asked question of presentation coaches is “What do I do with my hands or eyes” and How do I use gestures to connect or hurt my performance ? The worst thing you can do is to try to think about what you’re saying and figuring out at the same time how to gesture, move  use your hands, where you need to stand etc. One of the most important things to understand about presenting is that being yourself which includes aligning gestures with words and intent must be natural if you are going to be perceived as open, trustworthy and authentic.

My advice is to review a video of yourself presenting and you will quickly see how you come across to people. Any habit used to often in a presentation can become a distraction to the audience. For example, finger pointing or moving around the podium randomly will diminish your effectiveness and impact. Now let’s look at some Non-Verbal communication tools that support and amplify “sticky” message

 Handshake.  Firm and palm-to-palm contact is important for demonstrating confidence and sincerity. The fish shake with the tips of the fingers of the hand  signals insecurity and lack of confidence.  The handshake can leave either a good, poor or weak first impression and of course, comes into play to signal agreement or goodwill at the end of a meeting.

Eye contact. The eyes are the most powerful part of our body language, and can express everything from happiness, annoyance, interest, boredom and frustration. Consistent and frequent  eye contact using the technique of presenter communicating one thought to one person is a powerful way to build rapport and is usually perceived as the speaker being warm, honest and engaging. Darting eyes and looking over the heads of the audience is interpreted as nervousness, aloofness or disengagement by the audience.
Gestures:  Hands, Arms and legs position. Folded arms or crossed legs, perhaps turning away slightly, indicates a lack of interest and detachment. Later uncrossed arms and legs may be a sign of acceptance of your position or terms. An expressive presentation style will have toes pointed out and hands open when gesturing.   A less dynamic and shy presentation style  will point at members of the audience and keep their toes pointed in. None of these come through as positive gestures to the audience.
Posture and Movement. If you are trying to appear confident and authoritative, stand erect with shoulders back and legs about 12” apart with one leg further forward than the other . A slumped position usually indicates insecurity, nervousness and uneasiness.
Facial expression. A critical message delivered with a smiling face will have a totally different impact than one delivered with a stern or frowning face. In ability to smile or laugh sincerely makes you appear to be robitic or stiff as a presenter. Think here Al Gore or Mitt Romney who demonstrate that stiffness doesn’t work, because the warmth and sincerity is lost.

One last tip do not try to choreography or structure nonverbal behaviors. I’ve seen far too many presenters attempt to illustrate their narrative with specific gestures and wind up looking like buffoons. Instead, use your hands, arms and movements as you do naturally, to illustrate what you are saying. However, I do recommend one gesture: to extend your hand and arm periodically, bridging the gap between you and your audience  with your hand in handshake position or palms up signalling openness to comments and feedback

This is only one study that highlights the importance of Emotional Intelligence and other factors in being successful in business. To do more investigation checkout the through discussion on why EI is one of the most important elements for any organization in reaching their productivity, profitability and people goals.

The 19 studies reported by Cary Cherniss, Ph.D. at Rutgers University, is part of a larger effort by the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations 

This report builds an over whelming business  case for how emotional intelligence contributes to the bottom line in any work organization. Based on data from a variety of sources, this report can be a valuable tool for HR practitioners and managers who need to make the case  for more assessment EI in recruiting and Leadership and Manger training using EI has the foundation for improving their business culture.

As you read the Report try to identify three ways that you could use EI in your organization and always we look forward to hear your feedback an insights.

The Presenter’s  Playbook for Stickiness.

1. Embrace the challenge of the presentation and opportunity to show your best.

2. Trust and believe in your message and ability to deliver it in a memorable way.

3. Get out of worrying about acceptance and results and into the process of connecting with the audience

4. Be audience-centered and focused not self-centered and arrogant.

5. Be prepared to accept surprises and be confident  that nothing will upset you on the platform.

6.  Learn to be flexible and open and ready to change at moment by reading your audience and listening for non-verbal feedback

7. Don’t just “wing it”  learn to enjoy planning, design and practice.

8.. Love your message and audience–don’t effort or try so hard be authentic and play to your natural strengths

9. Respect audience attention span and learning capacity.–Don’t over load them with facts , figures and information. Focus on one important thing and keep the message simple.

10. Remember — Perfection is a killer to spontaneity so be  present in the moment and  have fun doing it. Be your own best friend.

Follow these two new Commandments you will find that the audience will remember — and maybe even act on — your message. After all, the purpose for giving a presentation is to inform and change the world.

Commandment One: Focus on Audience needs and expectations—Duarte Rule Know Thy Audience.

Presentations are about their audiences, not their speakers. Before you write anything down, or commit anything to a Power Point slide, you must give some thought to your listeners. So ask yourself obvious — but easy to forget — questions like, what time of day am I speaking? How many people will be in the audience? Will they just have eaten, or will they be looking forward to a meal? Will they have heard a number of other speeches, or are mine the only one? The answer to each of these questions should affect the length, style and content of your presentation.

People have more energy and more ability to hear complex ideas early in the day; later in the day their energy flags and they don’t want to entertain as many new ideas. Larger audiences demand more energy from the speaker and want to laugh more than they want to cry. The worst audience (from the speaker’s point of view) is a tired, fed, slightly inebriated audience. That audience needs President Reagan’s rule for after-dinner speeches: 12 minutes, a few jokes, and sit down before the audience stands up.

But the really interesting things to know about audience members are, what do they fear? What are their dreams? Where do they want to be led? And what have they had recent cause to like or dislike? Only once you understand the emotional state of the audiences are you ready to begin to design a presentation for them. Far too many speakers make the mistake of believing that one size fits all. I have seen executives give the same speech about the financial state of the company to investors, to the general public, and to employees — with very different results.

Rule Two: Focus on the Message —Tell Them One Thing, and One Thing Only

This is a difficult rule for most presenters to follow. But it’s essential. The oral genre is highly inefficient. We audience members simply don’t remember much of what we hear. We’re easily sidetracked, confused, and tricked. We get distracted by everything from the color of the presenter’s tie to the person sitting in the next row to our own internal monologues. I’m afraid the company’s not in very good shape. That comment that Joan made last week. Maybe I should dust off my resume. Now, what was that guy up front saying?

So you’ve got to keep it simple. Many studies show that we only remember a small percentage of what we hear — somewhere between 10 – 30 percent.

But when a speaker gets in front of an audience, the urge to tell ‘em everything you know is very hard to resist. Far too many speakers perform a data dump on their audiences at the first opportunity. Unfortunately, we can only hold 4 or 5 ideas in our heads at one time, so as soon as you give me a list of more than 5 items, I’m going to start forgetting as much as I hear.

Against this dismal human truth there is only one defense: focus your presentation on a single idea. Be ruthless. Write that one idea down in one declarative sentence and paste it up on your computer. Then eliminate everything, no matter how beautiful a slide it’s on, that doesn’t support that idea.

Follow these two rules and you’ll find that audience will remember — and maybe even act on — your speeches. After all, the only reason to give a speech is to change the world.

In Meaningful and Constructive Living philosophy I challenge the notion of “big” ideas and complete system re-makes as the answer to happiness. I am trying to share some ideas and confront our community of professionals to not only reassess the vision,  and goals for creating a more meaningful life directed by a strong and concise personal purpose in life. Rethinking our understanding of how to change from a life based on what is presented or based on activities into a meaningful and purposeful life takes small changes that can have big impact on our life’s journey.

The process of meaningful change requires self-awareness and dedicated reflection and observations from your life and others experience and then choosing constructive action to create meaning and purpose in life. What follows is the core of Meaningful Constructive Living:

• MCL guides you in determining what you’re strengths are and helps you identify what you are passionate about, and how to keep these critical values, skills and passions front and center in your daily life.
• How to create a family and work environments that reinforce your unique view of life
• How to cultivate and maintain balance in important relationships and goals for living
• Develop your imagination, problem solving, opportunity finding and decision-making life skills by overcoming interferences and barriers in day-to-day living.

In essence MCL is a process for living a life that reinforces your purpose and values in a way that creates a balanced and Meaningful and Constructive life. MCL provides the mindset, skillset and action steps for confronting life challenges and prospering by living in Smart-Step way.

My passion for life is grounded in learning, openness and curiosity and life’s purpose captured by this motto and commitment to “making meaning and purpose matter®”. For over 40 years now, I have led a search to pulled this experiential approach to live together into a coherent worldview that transform life from just activities build out of habits into a personal change model that is committed to respecting differences and appreciating the excitement that all we CAN COUNT ON IN LIFE IS CHANGE. Now it is time for me to share this worldview so as to help and facilitate others to think and act differently about the world around them. Through the “Process with Structure” approach and experiential tools such as Smart-Steps for change I hope to provide a learning environment for others personal growth and change. This is particularly evident by my belief that anything in life is possible if you are clear on your purpose and persistent in acting to fulfill them. I want to provide a new voice for the design and development of how to handle change and live a Meaningful and Constructive life.

Don’t miss this inspiring story about self-confidence and its impact on how we evaluate our potential to be successful. Ginny Rommety became IBM’s new chief executive and during that process told an interesting story on assertiveness and false humility. “  spoke about a point early in her career when she was offered a promotion she initially turned down because of fear of failure and underestimating her achievements and belief in her abilities. Encouraged by her husband’s question : “Do you think a man would have ever done that?” She reapply and got the promotion. Lesson learned — to be self-confident on the outside ( fake it) even when she felt self-critical on the inside.

What is it about women’s self-confidence that holds them back from self-promotion. There is a small change in thinking that  could have a major impact on women’s careers. What is this secret weapon that women don’t understand that could mean faster promotions, higher salaries, better jobs, and more meaningful career?  Find out this secret women are afraid to use and men overuse. Jodi Glickman provides an interesting argument in the HBR blog on this confidence issue for women. She talks about confidence as a recognition of accomplishments and a numbers game. I am not sure that this lack of self-promotion and confidence can be solved by her solution, but I do know it would be better for all of us if women had the opportunity to identify their strengths and then learn how to assert those strengths to receive the recognition they deserve.  Remember what the John Wooden, famous coach of UCLA,  said: “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”  John Wooden  

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.~Auguste Rodin

Do not waste a minute — not a second — in trying to demonstrate to others the merits of your performance. If your work does not vindicate itself, you cannot vindicate it.~ Thomas Wentworth Higginson

Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.~ Victor Hugo

Time = Life, Therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life.~ Alan Lakein

Reflection: I love these quotes because it forces me to look at what is important in life. Many times when I taught Time Management courses audience members would say things like this–”my mother is important is  important to me, but I don’t have enough time to call her and stay in touch. I would respond if you don’t have the time its because they she is not  a priority in your life”. You can replace the word mother with other family members or other things like I have to make a living,but these are all just execuses. We find the time in our lives for that which is important.

Action assignment: Since life is not a rehearsal and our time is finite what are the two things you would like to make time for in your life?  After identifying them then build a Smart-Step Plan for changing and focusing on the things that you say are important in your life.

This type of active listening is a positive impact that “ripples” through the audience. It shows how one small action can have a big influence on the learning environment and receptivity of the audience to your message. As a speaker you can initiate a positive feeling from the audience that can have a virus type effective.  Being pro-active with positive gestures can trigger and engage audience members brain receptors like oxytocin in audience members.

When we have the intention to experience and offer empathy, we can make choices—even small ones, like how we make non-verbal expression of contact can lead to audience members authentic experience of caring and empathy from the speaker.

Research Reference:

A Kogan, LR Saslow, EA Impett, C Oveis, D Keltner, S Rodrigues Saturn. Thin-slicing study of the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) gene and the evaluation and expression of the prosocial disposition. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2011; DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1112658108.

I am pretending all the time…

All the time living a life for everyone else

And I am losing my gripe on who I am

Is possible to stop this hoax

And just simply be me

Recover my footing and move forward

By just being me

Happiness I am now sure is not money or stuff

I am now content to look within

I keep telling myself don’t be deceived

And tempted to chase it somewhere else…

Secret to this new-found serenity–

An awaking that it is okay to be who you are—

No judgments, regrets or illusions

I am ordinary, and that is really, really

Okay….Okay…