The Power of Empathy–People before Profits

Power of Empathy

“The job of leadership today is not just to make money. It’s to make meaning.” John Hagel, Management Consultant

Judgment implies evaluation and a lack of trust. Trusting yourself and others is the foundation of empathy. ” Carl Rogers

Empathy defined–It is the unconditional understanding of others feelings, experience and ideas without judgment. Empathy does not mean agreement with the other persons point of view or feeling. To show empathy you must be able to put yourself in the other persons shoes and understand their experience  without judgment.

Create Meaning in Life: Don’t settle for things as they are now.

“Men will always be making mistakes as long as they are striving after something.” Goethe

There is in the world today a thirst for meaning. People are seeking a purpose. They are looking for ways to provide service and fulfill themselves. In reversal of the trends toward incivility, violence, consumerism and prejudice toward differences. We are discovering that what one does must be a means of self-fulfillment, making a difference and service.

Reflection and renewal is so necessary both for society and for the individual that when society fails to provide sufficient change and up dating of mental maps to be responsive to changing conditions and needs for the persons who compose it, people rebel and seek false solutions of the past, like racism and hate crimes.  

Thomas Merton once illuminated this need for meaning in life–

Dynamic Leadership: Passion+Self-Renewal+Constructive Action

” Self-Renewal is possible if we don’t lose our capacity to learn and grow. But renewal…depends in some measure on motivation, commitment, conviction, the values men live by, the things that give meaning to their lives”. John W. Gardner, author Self-Renewal

Positive change results when we become aware of, observe and accept a new way to think and behave. We feel a new way is better when we experience more balance, peacefulness, or joy, than by continuing with our old habits and rountines. Breakout of old routines and habits and do something different. Be willing to experiment and test your boundaries.

Reflections #11: Leadership Dimensions…

To lead is to dream and do…

    to let go of fears and criticism

to see beyond the obvious and mean spirited..

   to give credit away…

to lead at the pleasure of followers…

   to see and share a vision

to anticipate and articulate a new view

   to be enthusiastic, passionate and on PURPOSE…

to care

                             to focus

                                                            to flex

to collobrate , cooperate and above all

      TO RESPECT. BE RESPONSIBLE…

 TO APPRECIATE AND ACKNOWLEDGE …

and say THANK YOU, thank you, thank you…

and  PLEASE ….more often …

and…and… and … remember

LIFE IS SHORT AND DEATH IS LONG…. ENJOY THE HERE AND NOW…

100 Day Challenge–Is the American Dream Alive or An Illusion?

President Obama and his team have done a great job in the first 100 days of steadying the ship of state and are now putting forth the plans and action to execute the comprehensive change  we need to change America.  Now it is your turn to be a little reflective about the future. My hundred day challenge for you is to visit Bill Moyers Journal and add your perspective to the dialogue about how we go about defining and deepening the American Dream. I am challenging all the readers and guests of TheWick blog to join the Bill Moyers Journal and The Fetzer Institute in a quest to reassess the definition of The American Dream asking: Is the American Dream a vision or an illusion?  What is your vision for the future of the American Dream? How can you contribute to making these visions come true?

To Survive Eonomic Tough Times:Choosing Fulfillment and Action over Fear and Avoidance.

“And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  Nelson Mandela

Is it your choice or the organization’s whether you get a pink slip or not? Is this the question that is drip, dripping on your mind and keeping you awake at night? 

Authentic Communications: Obama Leadership Effect

When we reflect on and look at the way we communicate and speak we are talking about leadership.  Leaders lead with their ideas, insights, words, presence and action. The way people speak and deliver words of praise or criticism reveals their values, beliefs and philosophy of life. It can make or break leaders because without trust there will be no followers. “Obama or leadership effect” hypothesizes that leaders will be measured and judged by their empathy, confidence, clarity, authenticity, and the impact of their communications and behavior, not intentions. Leadership is all about connecting, inspiring, and influencing others to come together and take united action.

Like it or not, our self awareness, mental presence, and confidence (mental state); elocution or mechanics (voice, gestures, movement, body language, and eye contact); and messages (verbal impact of content) determine how we are perceived by others and effect our ability to influence them.  Effective leadership and extraordinary communication integrates ideas, insights, and information to inspire and influence others to act on their message. Authentic communication must challenge individuals in profound ways to choose action over words. (Obama Effect)

Lessons Learned from the Obama Communication Style 

1. Know and go with what you got –Be authentic
2. Show understanding through empathy asking: “How do you think that would make you feel?” (Obama’s mother always asked him to answer this question when dealing with others)
3. Do not fear or over react to comments by others–Be true to your values and take the high road when building relationships.
4. Reflecting on life experiences keeps us grounded and our mental maps updated.
5. Keep your on eyes on the prize – Have a vision
6. Replace Yes, but… thinking  with Yes, we can… and positive action will follow.
7. Keep things in perspective and balance-Take vacations and pay attention to your family needs.
8. No one is optimistic all the time. But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude. When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to being more confident, relaxed, humorous, and effective as a connector and communicator.
9. Create “unique connections” by treating others with respect and dignity.  When people feel accepted and respected they have the desire and motivation to collaborate, share information, and work together to accomplish goals.
10. Provide a common language and powerful theme based on building coalitions and cooperation.  Yes, we can. The focus is providing a vision, strategy, and tactics to support grassroots coalitions in understanding the need for change by building a strong vision for the future and creating trust through open and ongoing communications. 

Finally, one of the most powerful lessons is to be an effective listener by seeking to understand others before being understood. You can do this by using the skills of clarification, restatement, and reflection. This type of authentic and active listening shows your desire to forge a partnership not just impose your ideas. You signal to others your desire to establish yourself as someone who is  open, responsive, and flexible. Your goal in active listening is to create a positive and comfortable environment where participants feel free to confront different points of view because you are confident that listening doesn’t always mean agreement. By being an effective listener you show acceptance –without sacrificing your own style or point of view. To be an extraordinary communicator it is critical that the “message, mechanics, and mental frame” be in-sync through a common language of ideas and information that say, ‘I care and respect you and understand your needs and issues‘.  This approach is vastly different from many leadership approaches that promote “polish and presence” as keys to effective communication. By utilizing The Obama-Leadership Effect ™, leader-communicators can authentically lead in diverse situations and strategically build trust and inspire others to believe in their message and vision. Leaders must find their own voice, so they can connect with followers and present themselves as authentic, inspiring and memorable leaders. Given your experience and perceptions–What do you think makes a leader able to connect and be perceived as authentic? 

 

 

 

perspectives #4

the manchester, england band oasis recently took an unconventional approach to the release of their new album. the band decided to rehearse the new songs with street musicians in new york and then the locals descended into the subways to introduce the new album to america.  check out this documentary short.

perspectives #3

in early june two thousand eight, my wife and i were driving though santa barbara on the way back to venice. it was sunset, highway one, pick your favorite commercial.  we had a long weekend in santa lucia, tasting pinot, taking it slow.  she was sleeping.  npr played, the reception was poor.  between crackles and scratches, bill moyer’s voice rose above a live audience in memphis applauding his introduction.  i knew then, as much i know today, this speech would stay with me, nagging me, challenging me to act.

perspectives #2

in the february vanity fair, chistopher hitchens illuminates the global struggle for free speech in the twenty first century.  withstanding the geo political, economic and cultural implications of his thoughts, i am inspired by the courage of the poets, writers and watch guards of human rights referenced in the article.

when american political folk speak to transcendent leadership, they might consider these examples as well. these voices are reminiscent to those that founded the united states of america.  are we not all men/women in search of the same things, life, liberty and happiness?

“Sometimes this fear—and this blackmail—comes dressed up in the guise of good manners and multiculturalism. One must not wound the religious feelings of others, many of whom are poor immigrants in our own societies. To this I would respond by pointing to a book published in 1994. It is entitled For Rushdie: Essays by Arab and Muslim Writers in Defense of Free Speech. Among its contributors is almost every writer worthy of the name in the Arab and Muslim world, ranging from the Syrian poet Adonis to the Syrian-Kurdish author Salim Barakat, to the late national bard of the Palestinians, Mahmoud Darwish, to the celebrated Turkish writers Murat Belge and Orhan Pamuk. Especially impressive and courageous was the list of 127 Iranian writers, artists, and intellectuals who, from the prison house that is the Islamic Republic, signed their names to a letter which said: “We underline the intolerable character of the decree of death that the Fatwah is, and we insist on the fact that aesthetic criteria are the only proper ones for judging works of art.… To the extent that the systematic denial of the rights of man in Iran is tolerated, this can only further encourage the export outside the Islamic Republic of its terroristic methods which destroy freedom.” In other words, the situation is the exact reverse of what the condescending multiculturalists say it is. To indulge the idea of religious censorship by the threat of violence is to insult and undermine precisely those in the Muslim world who are its intellectual cream, and who want to testify for their own liberty—and for ours. It is also to make the patronizing assumption that the leaders of mobs and the inciters of goons are the authentic representatives of Muslim opinion. What could be more “offensive” than that?”

-chistopher hitchens-

perspectives #1

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