Part 1–Art and Science of Presentology

” …the key question for Mastery: is the potential for mastery innate or just hard work ? …How  anyone can commit to 10,000 hours of deliberative practice… the difficulty is how anyone can motivate themselves for 10000 hours of grueling deliberative practice” ? Boscoh

Four Pillars of Presentology–Designing and Delivering Extraordinary Presentations

Successful Strategies for “Winning from Within”

1. Message

2. Methods

3. Mechanics

4. Mental

So what makes a Master Presenter? I didn’t create any kind of scientific ranking while making my choices, but did consider five criteria:

1. Does the individual’s message and ideas resonate to the audience—Relevance Factor?
2. Are the ideas presented in a way that connects with the participants needs and expectations? Unique Connect Factor?
3. In what ways can the message inspired me to take action or put the ideas to work immediately? Action Factor?
4. To what degree has the presentation affected me personally? Memorable Factor?
5. Know your strengths and “go with what you have” and make improvements from this starting point to reach your goals? Focus Factor?

For example, if you want to be more expressive and charismatic find out through feedback what you need to change and then use Ericsson’s Deliberative practice or a process like “Smart Steps” for personal change.Tell me what you think works or doesn’ t work with this Presentology framework.

Daily quote and Reflective Exercise–Goal Achievement through Smart-Steps

Quote:  ” You go into flow when your highest strengths are deployed to meet the highest challenges that come your way” Martin Seligman, author of new book on well being and happiness called –Flourish 

Smart-Step Exercise : Goal Achievement = Clarity + Concrete + Compelling             

Step 1:  Get clarity by focusing on reality and strengths to accomplish goal  

Too often, we don’t really set goals – we just have dreams and hopes for the future. Some call these pipe dreams.   We don’t get clarity on what we want to see accomplished so we don’t commit ourselves to making them happen.  To get clarity, review reality the relity of your situation and resources such as time, money and support.. Then specific  a goal you would like to achieve in a specific time period next week, month, or year.  (example: I’d like to quite smoking and be healthier by the end of December.2011)

Goal to be accomplished –-I want:  ______________________________________________________________________________.

Step 2:  Make your goal concrete and tangible– Be specific.

When our goals are at 30,00 feet off the ground orvague generalizations we don’t end up ever commit to or take action on them . Increase the tangibility and concreteness of the goal, by asking yourself what the situation will look like when you have accomplished the goal or how you will KNOW when you have reached your goal.  What will positive results look like by such and such a date??  What matrix or measurement will show you have reached your desired results.

Success is to be measured by______________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Step 3:  Get Motivated – Make your goal  a challenge but not too difficult that you give up before you start. Make goal realistic given your experience and skills.

It turns out, people are more successful, and achieve more, when they set goals that are stretch you but are not out of the range of possibilities.  Ask yourself, how willing are you to stretch to reach this goal or am I not challenging myself enough? In other words given your strengths and resources is this goal realistic?

Revise your goal TO REALLY CHALLENGE yourself. My new and challenging and realistic goal is_________________________________________________________________________________.:

Good Luck and keep us posted on your success.

“Worry less about cholestero

Exercise on Interpersonal Conflict: How to control frustrations and anger to solve problems

 

“If we don’t change the direction we are going, we are likely to end up where we are heading.” – Chinese Proverb

Of the three basic emotions that lead to poor productivity and interpersonal flare-ups —disappointment, frustration and fear—frustration leading to anger is the most destructive. Your particular situation may involve enormous frustrations and disappointments with others or yourself.  (“I needed to find better ways to handle Danny’s tantrums before I create a never-ending battle of the wills.” Darn him for always having a melt down when I need his cooperation.”) or enormous self-anger (“Why, why, why can’t I be a better Dad when things are not going well with the kids; m expected reaction just raises the temperature and sets him off. I really hurt our relationship when I get anger.” Whatever the proportions, some feel frustrated guilty but resist letting the situation escalate to anger, shouting and demanding; others acknowledge their frustration and inability to handle the situation but feel “stuck” in same old patterns.. Most of these regrets get you stuck in unproductive perseverance.

Considering frustration and anger separately makes both more useful. Right now, think of something or someone you are frustrated with… With that situation or person in mind, finish this sentence: “I’m frustrated that __________.” Repeat the exercise until you run out of frustrations and things related to that person or situation. For example, if you are  frustrated with a building contractor not finishing on time or making major errors on the project, you might say, “I’m frustrated and extremely disappointed that I have to stay on top of every piece of this remodeling project or it doesn’t get done on budget or in a timely manner. I’m angry that I chose such an incompetent builder and that this project is taking up all my time and energy. ” So this first exercise gets at the root causes for the frustrations.

Now that you have fully itemized the causes for the frustrations make another list of possible solutions needed to be implemented to solve the causes. In this part 2 of the exercise begin each sentence with the phrase, “I’m frustrated and angry at ________ because________ and I want to resolve this by _____________” For example, “I’m angry at Bill, the builder,  because of the cost and time over runs and I want to solve this by instituting a daily meeting to set priorities and action items for completion. To ensure we stay on task I am immediately bringing in a new supervisor for the project.” I’m sad about the need for this tight structure and supervision and the finger-pointing and blame game that has been going on” Write down the solution based  on your identification of the causes for the frustrations and anger about the personnel and situation.

Underneath frustrations is the feeling of disappointment when looking back at what we could have done. It does have a piece of self-loathing. Also, anger for what took place or is still happening. Try learning the lessons the experience is teaching you now rather than looking back and obsessively contemplating what could have been. Reflecting on Warren Buffet’s view of looking back may help you put frustrations and disappointments in perspective–”I never look back. I figure there is so much to look forward to that there is no sense thinking of what I might have done. It just doesn’t make any difference. You can only live life forward.”  So as you think about your frustrations right now–If you had the opportunity for a “do over” what would you do differently? What can you do now to correct the situation or put the project back on track?

Finally, remember that you need to focus on living and working fully and intensely in the present, with minimal infringement from the past failures or miscues to solve this problem and improve productively and enable others on the team to do their best work.

Want more effective Mental Maps? Try using this learning process technique…

“Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most in order to create a comfort zone   assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own believes and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs. So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdate  beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open minded and flexible leads to absolute dogma and in many situations looking or sounding foolish.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

With prospect, with clients, at school, at home, in business, with our friends, family, colleagues or managers we can check assumptions and gain a better appreciation of the issues by first asking questions. Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

As we listen carefully to the answers we formulate further questions. When someone gives an answer we can often ask, “Why?” The temptation is to plunge in with our opinions, responses, conclusions or proposals. The better approach is keep asking questions to deepen our comprehension of the issues before making up our mind. Once we have mapped out the main points we can use closed questions to get specific information. Closed questions give the respondent a limited choice of responses – often just yes or no. Examples of closed questions are:

• When did this happen?
• Was he angry?
• Where is the shipment right now?
• Did you authorise the payment?
• Would you like to go to the cinema with me on Saturday evening?

By giving the other person a limited choice of responses we get specific information and deliberately move the conversation forward in a particular direction.

Asking many questions is very effective but it can make you appear to be inquisitorial and intrusive. So it is important to ask questions in a friendly and unthreatening way. Do not ask accusing questions. “What do you think happened?” will probably get a better response than, “Are you responsible for this disaster?” Try to pose each question in an innocent way and ensure that your body language is relaxed and amicable. Do not jab your finger or lean forward as you as put your requests.

Try to practice asking more questions in your everyday conversations. Instead of telling someone something, ask them a question. Challenging questions stimulate, provoke, inform and inspire engagement and learning. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn.

Smart-Steps for more positive mindset and action

1. To strengthen our own “stress hardiness” and lessen the likelihood of anxiety and burnout: Practice answering the following questions  :

√ Passion and Commitment: What brings purpose to your life?

√ Challenge: Try reframing  difficult situations as  opportunities for learning.

√ Self-Control : To focus your time and energy on areas of your life over which you have  some influence and control.

√ Change intensity of response: Focus on things that happen to you that are unpleasant as inconvenient rather than awful.

Want “Sticky” Presentations–Try Using Experiential Activities

“A  ” Sticky” presentation is a sequence of experiences , examples and stories  that when seen and experienced as a holistic event form a compelling argument to change. Let your audience discover the answers to powerful questions, get them engaged in the material and remember that audiences remember only a third of what they read, half of what you told them, but 100 percent of what they discover and experience..”  Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D

If you apply Aristotle’s rules of rhetoric–verifying and testing the Ethos, Pathos, and Logos of your presentation–and if you hone your delivery with practice, you may not make people march, mobilize policy changes, save a your company, but you’ll make a presentation that states your position with clarity and strength and keeps your audience’s attention. Focus here is on Pathos or making an emotional and meaningful connection with your audience. Pathos is captured well in this quote from the Dali Lama ‘RESPECT for Self, RESPECT for Others… RESPONSIBILITY for All your Actions”

Pathos is best explored through conducting experiential activities during your presentation or training session.  The major barrier or disadvantage I have seen with experiential exercises is that they can be seen as artificial or gimmicky. To over come this obstacle it is important to design the activity to mirror reality to the workplace as possible. Many times you will here from participants that is was a fun activity to build a tower together out of index cards and tape, but was the point and what was I suppose to learn? As a presenter-facilitator your role  must be to help the participants see not only the value in the activity, but help them process how the experience relates to them and their real lives. You must relate the activity to real life or risk the possibility that participaants will perceive the activity as a waste of time or just fun and games. In addition, taking the time to process the learnings and experiences  can provide an opportunity for participants to discover and discuss  their unique learning from the activity.    Now let’s review the stages for designing and presenting a powerful and valuable experiential activity.

1. Planning

2. Preparing and presenting

3. Unpacking or processing learning experience

Planning. The critical issue in planning an activity is to make sure the activity is aligned with learning objectives.  Answering questions like–Why are we doing this activity and Where are we going with this activity will help you keep the learning mission on track.

Preparing and presenting. The major questions addressed in this stage are: What are the participants being asked to do or experience that can help them achieve and master the learning objective? What is it that the participants will need in order to accomplish the activity. In the presenting phase make sure your instructions are clear, concise and include all the steps required to perform the activity. Presenting requires you to set the stage and create a comfortable environment for learning. Make sure the groups have all the materials necessary to complete the activity. Be very specific in outlining the steps in the activity, checking with groups to see if they are understand what is required to conduct the activity. The facilitator needs to set specific timelines for completion of the activity and be involved in managing the activity by walking around the room to observe the groups and make sure they are on task. and if need be refine your instructions to support their successful completion of the activity.

Processing or unpacking an experiential activity. This is the most important stage of conducting an experiential exercise. Once the activity is completed, the facilitator needs to take the time to bring closure and get feedback from the groups on their learning experiences. Your role is to help clarify and make sense out of the experience. A facilitator must resist the temptation to tell learners what they should have learned. So in unpacking an activity the facilitator needs to ask a series of opened questions to help participants interpret their experiences. You always want participants to reflect and answer the questions–What just happened and what did they experience during the activity and what does it all mean to them and their life?

So next time you want to conduct an experiential activity make sure you pick an exercise that is appropriate to your group’s learning activities, make the exercise goal clear and always take time to process the activity so important training and learning connections are made.

Want to improve your Presentation Skills–Don’t miss this unbelievable offer to “Jump Start” the New Year.

Speaker Training “TASTER” OFFER—Jump start your career by starting the New Year Right

LEARN the KEYS TO “STICKY “PRESENTATIONS

“It is not enough to have sticky concepts and ideas. You have to present them so people get it.” Jay Ehret, The Marketing Spot

Sometimes you’re just not sure whether something is right for you, particularly if you’re thinking of skill training or personal changes. Taking up a new approach or breaking through an old fear, like speaking before a group, can seem daunting.  When it comes to public speaking, it’s usually seen as a bit like going to the dentist – you know that you need to do it to stay healthy or you ignore it till it hurts so much you hardly have a choice or you hate it so much you have to be dragged to the office.!  I took some time to listen to the feedback from a recent survey I ran with participants in my presentation seminars regarding their feelings about learning to be better presenters. Two of the main issues raised were the need to have a more convenient (less time away from office and easier access to coaching at a reasonable and affordable cost) way to get speaker training. Second, is the need to be able to experience 1 on 1 coaching and the opportunity to try out some of the more pertinent and customized advice before committing to a bigger investment in speaker coaching.

I am now ready to be responsive to your needs. I’ve designed a special ‘Taster Offer’ especially for those who’d like to experience a more personalized exposure to improving their presentation skills and confidence without any major financial outlay or time commitment. This special Presentation Training Package is brought to you by Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D., who has over 30+years of coaching executives, lawyers, accountants and other professionals in how to improve their communication skills.

The current Taster Offer I’ve put together has additional bonuses valued at just over $1,500 and as such, limited seats are available for the program.  The offering consists of the following:

• TASTE training Module will focus on the following: assessment of present skill level and style, planning and preparation basics, as well as feedback on a video tape you will send me along with your application and fee for the “Taste” offering.  This module deals with planning your presentation, how to design compelling and “sticky” messages from the listener’s point of view.  There is also an assignment and several exercises for you to work through with specific and individualized feedback.
• Bonus One you get lifetime access to the private email support group where you can talk to other presenters who have taken the “taster” module about how to overcome any barriers you’re having in executing the presentation system or Smart-Step tools provided.
• Bonus Two you also get access to the private Facebook group, this is a closed membership group and entry is strictly limited to “Taster” participants and presentation coach.
• Bonus Three – two sessions of speaker coaching.  I will personally spend time with you during two 30 minute sessions of speaker coaching.  These normally cost $250/session and take place via Skype. These are 1 on 1 coaching and feedback sessions not a group webinar.
• Bonus Four – a special incentive.  If you like the “TASTE Module” and feel that you’d like to continue with the rest of the course then for those who purchase the Taster Offer there is a discount of 50% off the rest of the course, meaning that you make an investment of $195.00 for the “Taste Module” (including bonuses) as opposed to the regular price of $795-995 for live but not customized group seminars.
• Extra Offer—An on going Coaching and feedback package. You receive Video feedback for three speeches you give during the year for additional $150/review and feedback report.

100% satisfaction or money back—no questions asked. Let’s get going. Just respond to this posting in the comment section with your e-mail or phone and we can set you up for your first session.

Thanks –Mark W. Hardwick,Ph.D.

The glue to “Sticky” teaching and learning

 

Life is amazing: and the teacher had better prepare himself to be a medium for that amazement. Edward Blishen

At a presentation have you ever felt talked down to? Are you lectured about things you already know and understand ? Do you feel like you are being treated with disrespect or as if you don’t have life experiences ? If so your teacher-trainer has violated important rules for teaching adults. So you don’t mis-design or deliver this way let’s review some critical principles of Adult Learning.

1. Relevance…make learning relevant to their daily work and family life

2. Learn what they need and want …Tell them why they need to listen and learn this material

3. Respect experience… take advantage of their maturity and experience they bring

4. Law of Frequency… practice, practice and practice to learn new skills

5. Law of Association…learn and add-on to knowledge they all ready possess.

6. Law of Effect…learn best in a supportive and respectful climate

7. Self-directed… Discovery learning… use involvement and interactive action learning tools to engage and challenge learners.

8. Small doses…Smart-Steps…Plus 1 … take them from where they are to where they want to go in small and doable steps.

Want to eliminate a bad habit? Change your Thinking and Attitude

There is an old saying that if you can’t do teach”. I disagree because the assumption of this quote forgets that the steps to changing behavior are learning the correct method for doing things and that teacher are not important in helping us gain knowledge and insight. Learning is the acquisition knowledge and skills through the following processes, such as:

1). Focusing on the awareness and attitude of the learner (get their attention).

2). Observe and model desired behavior.

3). Practice and feedback about our progress toward changing behavior

4). Replace the old with the new through positive reinforcement using the 5:1 rule (five positive comments for every negative one).

This smart approach follows a more enlighten philosophy supported by Andrew Bandrua, a guru in cognitive and social learning, who said, “to change behavior you must first change a person’s thinking”.

Secret to Connecting with Others: Seek Feedback

Steps of Feedback Model

“The gap in most communication is the belief that the other person understands what we said. If you don’t give feedback with care and respect it will be rejected as criticism. Show you care and value the other person”. Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D.

1. First rule is most that most people do not want unsolicited feedback. So you need to ask permission to give feedback. For example, I have some feedback and observations I think would be useful for your next team meeting. Would you like to hear it?

2. Let them go first. Most people are adapt at self-critics and improvement ideas. It is important for you as a coach to get their perspective before providing your feedback. This a powerful technique because it usually is received as an empowering and respectful act your part. It motivates people to be invovled in improving their performance. For example, So that I don’t tell you things you already have identified or are aware of, tell me –What worked? Where did you get stuck? What help you succeed? What would you do differently next time? Then I will provide my observations for us to discuss. Is that the way you would like to proceed?

3. Seek to find agreements in observations and reinforce their accurate perceptions. After settling in on agreements offer your feedback and observations. I have some additional ideas would you like to hear them?

4. Build on agreements and what your colleague has already identified and said. Then, explore other options and improvement suggestions.

5. Develop an action plan for improvement. What to do? How to overcome difficulties or obstacles? When they will try out new behavior? How are they going to get continuous feedback and from whom?

Remember the important components of feedback : Feedback is asked for ( get permission), feedback needs to be as close to the performance as possible ( immediate), be concrete and tangible in feedback (specific) check to see if it is understood and agreed with ( check-in} and done with caring and matter of fact tone and style. ( non-judgmental).

Big Hairy Ass Goals vs Smart-Step Approach to Personal change

“Inside out change emphasizes that what happens in your thinking is more important for sustaining change than what happens to you or around you.” wickism

As we approach the middle of the 4th quarter I start reflecting and taking note of my goals and achievements for 2010.  Maybe it is time to start thinking about new goals. Or should I just keep trucking on…?  After all, everyone can make excuses and God knows we all have are plates full with a jobless recover, two wars, and a broken health care system, TARP,  Bank bailouts, etc. Oh, I forgot the elections in November.

If you are feeling too stressed to tackle a BIG Hairy Ass Goal like getting a real job, lowering your blood pressure, weight loss, stopping smoking, daily exercise, or learning to not get angry at your two-year old. Try a “small dose” goal by using the Smart-Step approach to personal change. Now let’s summarize  Smart-Step process. Make your goal important enough to create a difference in your daily living and “small enough to accomplish without a great deal of risk or personal investment. This approach will keep you focused and not be as stressful as tackling a Big Hairy Ass goal. If you fail you won’t be as discouraged and maybe still be motivated to try again.

Remember the Japanese Kaizen way of “continuous improvement” saying

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with the first step.” —Lao Tzu

Positive Psychology Update: 2 Interventions for Personal Change.

“That which is unigue and worthwhile in us makes itself felt only in flashes…catch and savior these flashes, for more growth and exhilaration.” Eric Hoffer

The major question being examined in Happiness research is how can modern psychology help us become happier? One of the areas for research is to identify in a scientific way what interventions can promote more constructive and positive life habits.

We focus the rest of this article on the efficacy of positive interventions and exercises to increase individual happiness, in many ways the bottom line of work in positive psychology.

More on Meaningful Living Manifesto–Exploring a New Mental Framework

“You are on the track to Meaningful Constructive Living (MCL)  when you know yourself, craft a meaningful purpose and do what you need to do.”

Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D.

“You don’t get to choose how or when you are going to die. So decide how you’re going to live.” Joan Baez

Building on  the Meaningful Constructive Living (MCL) Manifesto I want to talk about how this process is related to the need for continuous improvement and personal change. Knowing the process and methods for personal change provides  powerful motivation for learning how to life a fulfilling and meaningful life. The MCL process provides practical tools  that can be used to become more decisive and effective in many choices in different situations. Change seems to happen when you have stopped “efforting” after what you think you should be and accept and experience–what you are. As you become aware of what is, and of what you want, you become more at ease in establishing a meaningful dialogue with yourself. You need to develop flexibility in tailoring this process to fit your unique situation.  The key to success is for you to become more and more aware of how you are in charge …and all the options and choices that are yours to make in living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

You can start to take action on your plans; by choosing and doing small changes.  This process will provide a simple structure for self renewal and personal coaching. In order to change– the new behavior must be put in place of old habits and this takes time (thirty to forty-five days). And never forget the old adage—Be the change you want to see happen.

Remember when you have an emotion, you first perceive it. Next you think and believe something about your perceptions. Then you have a gut feeling caused by your thoughts about an idea, person or situation and then you make a choice and act accordingly. Key concept is that actions usually follow feelings (positive or negative) not facts or events. In essence your thoughts cause your feelings so to change your behavior you must think differently. So in order to gain momentum for self-renewal it’s time to start to think rationally about your thinking so you can live a more constructive life. As Maxie Maultsby, M.D. once said “You have to think better before you’ll feel better”. What are you doing today to think clearer about your problems and opportunities in life? Commit today to identify one thing that can improve your life circumstance and do something to change it.

Leadership Change Challenge–End Death by Meetings.

“If you want to truly understand something, try to change it.” Kurt Lewin Father of Group Dynamics and Field Theory  

As a performance coach I needed to develop a framework for personal and organizational change. Over my thirty plus years of consulting and coaching I have fine tuned the following model. I focus on helping my clients replace self-sabotaging thinking and ideas with meaningful and  powerful goals through rational ideas and constructive actions.  I call this approach the Smart-Step Change Process. It is all about establishing a clear and meaningful purpose, confidence through positive self-talk and developing through realistic practice, feedback and execution plans.

Smart-Steps are more manageable in developing positive behavior  and organizational changes then a more general or abstract approach. Smart-Steps allow the client to focus on behavior and the process instead of judging performance (based on fears, false expectations and results). For example, process goals help speakers focus on being in the moment and responding in a responsive way to there audience needs. It helps speakers turn nervousness energy into positive enthusiasm. Here are some essential components of the Smart-Step Process applied to personal change and more productive meetings.

1.  Clarify and agree to a purpose, agenda and expectations for your time together. After introductions and time for re-connecting, start meeting with an attention grabber or controversial factoid or story not a joke.

2. Monitor and Edit yourself. Sincerely listen and try to meet the audience needs, interest, opinions and concerns--do not try to give advice; try to listen and understand their needs and wants.  Show them that you have their best interest at heart. Remind team members to stop and ask questions if they are confused or the discussion is not meeting their needs. Encourage conflict and challenges . This will keep people stay engaged and reduce boredom. See great  book Death of Meetings by Patrick Lencioni

3. Get attention with “start up.” Be friendly and welcoming to participants. Too much, too soon and too strong can lead to resistance by audience members. But the flip side of being boring or too laid back will lose people immediately. Find the balance that works for you and the audience. How? By asking a powerful question or engaging them in the topic right from the start. For example, How many of you are sick and tired of going to unproductive and boring meetings? Ask what they think are the reasons for poor meetings.

4. Accept and encourage differences and influence. A presentation succeeds to the extent that the presenter can accept influence from the audience members. Be responsive to audience comments or concerns. Be quick on your feet and flexible to show your care.

5. Have high standards. Leader-presenters have high standards and don’t expect perfection. Things may go wrong. Be ready to go with the flow.

6. Respect and Encourage candid dialogue. Understand how to become a better listener, give positive feedback, and inspire people with upbeat memorable messages. Learned to model the good habits and positive energy you would like others to practice and learn.

7. Focus on the optimistic “POV”. Try to understand the other person’s view of the world. In presentations that work and are experienced as meningful and satisfying, presenters make at least three to five times as many positive statements on their topic as negative ones. See Barbara Fredrickson’s book on Positivity.

Once you understand the Smart-Step process you are on the road to significant personal change.  Process goals replace  personal expectations and help performers focus on what is really important during a performance – being audience centered and in the moment. Being and living in the moment is critical to developing confidence. It means learning to trust and believe in yourself. Developing this sense of trust means being vulnerable and at risk. Trust is directly related to your ability to be open and is experienced as authenticity by the audience. Try to change your next meeting by being more prepared, clear on purpose, and more engaging with your team. Let us know how it goes. Don’t let yourself get frustrated by boring meetings be a leader and change the game.

How to Improve Quality of Life and Mental Toughness? Try this Recovery Technique

What to do to  stay in control and avoid the “fight and negative stress” response?  The next time when someone or something has caused you to be upset or angry certainly try counting to “20″ before responding. This is helpful if we can encode this response in our brains or have the ability hold back the alien ready to pop out of your chest. And I have found that in most situations it can work. But in this stress driven world … think in this fast pace and intensive and time driven world we live in it is important to be able to stay centered and relaxed. I am trying out a method that works for me it is called — the “5 Second Smart-step Recovery Rule” for ” mental toughness and stress reduction.  I recommend it highly. Here are the steps:

Count to Five –Toughness Response

Breathing is the foundation of sanity because it is the way we provide our brain and every other vital organ in our body with the oxygen needed to survive. Breathing also eliminates toxins from our systems.

There are many techniques for deep breathing, but one of the simplest and most effectives ones that I learned is  ”Five Second Smart Step Recovery” method:

• Breathe in slowly to a count of five.
• Hold the breath for a count of five.
• Exhale slowly to a count of five.
• Rest for a count of five by taking normal breaths.
• Start over again with number one.

Manage Stress and Conflicts: Learn Principle of Reframing

“In a time of conflict, telling the truth and challenging absolutes is a powerful technique for remaining reasonable and being perceived as more rational and calmer person to interact with.” — MWH

In order to be more positive you need to be open to many points of view.  Find-out why negativity and absolutism are unhelpful for eliminating conflict and minimizing stress.

Since absolute thinking isn’t helpful and can lead to dysfunctional responses and symptoms, let’s examine how you can reduce them and begin to think in a more rational and constructive way. This process is called reframing. Research shows that over time, unrealistic thoughts which you challenge and reframe lose their power.

As you continue to practice  observing, capturing and reframing, you will develop a new mental skill set, and be able to more easily use the reframing skill. You will be learning to talk to yourself in a more reasonable and soothing way. Another way of describing this process is that you are diminishing the voice of the “inner alien or critic”, and enhancing the voice of the “inner zen “, or the “inner coach”.

Smart-Step process  for Conflict and Stress Resolution: This week begin to track your upsetness and conflicts in your Constructive Living Personal Change Log book. To do this follow these Smart-Step change steps: 1.) identify the situation or event that is up setting or stressful 2.) make note of time of day and people involved. 3.) reflect on the event and capture your original thoughts and reactions to the event for any frustrations, anger or other cognitive distortions 5) Use reframing to write down a new prescription for what you could have told yourself to minimize your feelings and stress.