Daily Quote And Reflection: Top Athletes and Singers have Coaches–Why not You?

Quote:” Elite performers, researchers say, must engage in “deliberate practice”—sustained, mindful efforts to develop the full range of abilities that success requires. You have to work at what you’re not good at. In theory, people might be able to use self-coaching, but most people do not know where to start or how to proceed. Expertise, as the formula goes, requires going from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence to conscious competence and finally to unconscious competence. The coach provides the outside eyes and ears, and makes you aware of where you’re falling short. This is tricky. Human beings resist exposure and critique; our brains are well defended. So coaches use a variety of approaches—showing what other, respected colleagues do, for instance, or reviewing videos of the subject’s performance. The most common, however, is just conversation.” Top Athletes and Singers have Coaches. Should you? Atul Gawande

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/10/03/111003fa_fact_gawande?currentPage=all

Action Challenge: Given that we can all improve our skills the question for you in the next week is to identify–What areas would you like a coach to assist or provide feedback on so that you can become a more effective professional? 

Daily Quote and Reflections: How do you view the importance of time in your life?

Quotes on Time:

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.~Auguste Rodin

Do not waste a minute — not a second — in trying to demonstrate to others the merits of your performance. If your work does not vindicate itself, you cannot vindicate it.~ Thomas Wentworth Higginson

Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.~ Victor Hugo

Time = Life, Therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life.~ Alan Lakein

Reflection: I love these quotes because it forces me to look at what is important in life. Many times when I taught Time Management courses audience members would say things like this–”my mother is important is  important to me, but I don’t have enough time to call her and stay in touch. I would respond if you don’t have the time its because they she is not  a priority in your life”. You can replace the word mother with other family members or other things like I have to make a living,but these are all just execuses. We find the time in our lives for that which is important.

Action assignment: Since life is not a rehearsal and our time is finite what are the two things you would like to make time for in your life?  After identifying them then build a Smart-Step Plan for changing and focusing on the things that you say are important in your life.

Daily reflection and exercise to improve Meaningful Constructive Living? Eliminate One Irrational Idea

Daily Reflection and exercise: On Clear and Raqtional Thinking.

Exercise: Identify which Irrational Ideas are true for you. Keep track this week how many times a particular IRRATIONAL IDEA is operating and interfering with you living a meaningful constructive life. Develop a plan for changing your thinking by identifying how you can think differently. Ask the questions: What can I do differently to create better results in my life?

By paying attention to your impact on others and listening to feedback from significant others you can eliminate irrational thinking and doing in your life. Significant others can provide straight talk about how your actions impact them. And others. Then you can decide what you need to change to be a more effective and congruent person. The congruent person has more comfort in life because their “inner thoughts” and feelings match what you show or do with and to others.

Finding out what makes the difference in Presenting impactful Technical Presentations.

Technical presentations are loaded with facts and evidence to the point of diminishing returns if the  amount of information is not targeted and transmitted  in a relevant and meaningful way.  The audience even though they are ground in the subject matter , such as high cholesterol, diets, or financial planning can get lost if your message is not clear, concise and compelling. So what are the best and more effective ways to make the desired goal of transmitting information and change audience behaviors?  Checkout one of my most visited blog post on this idea–http://thewick.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/

Overcoming the fear and anxiety of Public Speaking and other phobias.

In survey after survey, people put the prospect of speaking in front of an audience near the top of their list of anxieties and biggest fear. These surveys list “fear of public speaking ” in front of heights, divorce, cancer and death.  It’s a universal fear: Even seasoned presenters often experience sweaty palms and butter flies before presenting. The reasons for these fears are the activation of the  fight-or-flight reflex which releases cortisol and adrenaline and other nervous substance in our blood stream.

Glossa means tongue and phobos stands for fear or dread. Here are the most important educational fear of public speaking statistics, seven bare facts. These statistics are hard to find, so I’ve compiled one fact sheet, based on studies of national and international mental health institutes and governing bodies.

Research Results
Some surveys and research results show that most people rather die instead of talking in front of a live audience. This is a global fears top ten:

1. Fear of public speaking
2. Fear of death
3. Fear of spiders and snakes
4. Fear of darkness
5. Fear of heights
6. Fear of people or social situations
7. Fear of flying
8. Fear of germs and diseases
9. Fear of thunder and lightning
10. Fear of confined spaces (Claustrophobia)

In an exciting breakthrough for psychological science, researchers in the United States have demonstrated a drug-free, no beta blockers,  way to prevent the return of a learned fear.  It’s hoped the rediscovered approach through the  behavior modification principle  of extinction will lead to improved and practical ways to remove fear of speaking, heights, germs etc. These phobias and  traumatic memories can have devasting impacts oh every day quality of life.

Research Elizabeth Phelps has been research how fears can be acquired through learning for over twenty years. The fact that memories and behavior are learned raised in her mind how can they be unlearned?  It is clear that people are quite adept at acquiring fear, but what mechanisms can we use to successfully diminish fear once it has been learned? The procedure began with 65 participants learning to fear a coloured square that appeared on a computer screen. Each time the square appeared they received a mild but unpleasant electric shock to their wrist. In a real-life scenario the equivalent might be a repeatedly bad experience on each attempt at giving a public speech or sales presentation. The next day, the participants were repeatedly presented with the square but without the shock. This is a well-established procedure in psychological therapy known as extinction, the idea being that the person unlearns the fear associated with the stimulus or situation. A real-life equivalent might be to repeatedly practice giving a presentation in a safe environment, perhaps to sympathetic friends and family, or to a “virtual audience”.

Three Ways to Influence and Change People’s Point of view.

We  all work hard to influence others. It is a part of daily life.  Unlike just sharing information or trying to increase the audience’s awareness, influence is about getting others to change their beliefs and act on new ideas and points of view.  The process of influence involves the use of strong arguments  and knowing  how to  be perceived and providing a message that makes your presentation credible and believable.  Having reviewed many studies and research with the purpose of trying to identify helpful and power influencing approaches. I have identified three powerful tactics that may fit that purpose. These tactics I hope will be a good addition for your persuasive tool kit. Here they are for your review:

1. Always do your homework on the person and audience you are communicating with. If you can identify the majority of beliefs and needs of the audience you can shape your arguments to reinforce the beliefs and provide ways to be relevant in meeting their needs. You message needs to be relevant and targeted. Remember the message is not about you but influence the audience to think and act in new ways.

2. Be flexible and open because there  is no single way to influence or change people’s point of view. Being perceived as dogmatic or rigided in seeking support or trying to influence others will undermined your credibility and authenticity. Pushing to hard pushes people to be defensive and play the “the Yes But..game”

3, There are all sorts of ways language and right words  can communicate sincerity and authenticity . Here are some solid facts for you:

• People usually judge that more details mean someone is telling  the truth, this creates creditable
• We find stories that are relevant have more power and chance to connect. Thus you are more influential if the audience is on the same emotional level..
• We even think more raw facts make unlikely events more likely. Thus you are are perceived as more believable.

Just providing more tangibility  can be enough according to a recent study by Hansen and Wanke (2010). Compare these two sentences:

A recent study by Hansen and Wanke (2010) indicated that “statements of the very same content were judged as more probably true when they were written in concrete language than when they were written in abstract language.”

Take a look at these two sentences:

• “Hamburg is the European record holder concerning the number of bridges.”
• “In Hamburg, one can count the highest number of bridges in Europe.”

Which sentence did you find more believable?  In Hansen and Wanke’s study, “Truth From Language and Truth From Fit,” participants rated the second sentence as more believable.  While there isn’t any more detail in the second sentence or any significantly different meaning, it is rated as more believable because “it doesn’t beat around the bush, it conjures a simple, unambiguous and compelling image: you counting bridges.”

Hansen and Wanke give three reasons why concrete language indicates truth:

1. Since our minds process concrete statements quickly, we automatically associate quick and easy with true.
2. It is easier to create mental pictures of concrete statements.  Easier to recall = seems more true.
3. When something can be easily pictured, it just seems more likely.  Easily pictured = more believable.

What are the implications of this study on concrete language and truth for your life?  Fortunately, most of us don’t go through the day coming up with ways to manipulate and distort what we are saying in order to be perceived as trustworthy or believable.  Perhaps an underlying reason why simple concrete language is perceived as more truthful is because when we are telling the truth, we’re usually not over-thinking it – we just tell it as it is.

We all have different styles of communication, and some of us have a natural tendency to go into more detail when telling stories/recounting events than others.  As with everything, context is key.  When you are listening to someone’s story, be sure to take into account what you already know about this person, how they typically communicate, as well as any relevant facts.  If someone is feeling stressed,  overwhelmed, or rushed, they will relay information or tell a story quite differently than when they are relaxed and calm.

When in doubt, just remember: keep it clear, concise, tangible and compelling.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Listen-up True Believers and Tea Party–See why People get STUCK in their Beliefs

Daily Quote: “Everybody has their own private hell. Getting through it requires awareness, courage and openness to change.  STOP ignoring the facts and evidence and free yourself to see the truth” Mark W.Hardwick, Ph.D. .

Reflection: Why do people ignore facts and evidence that the TEA Party and Rep have it wrong about how to solve economic problems and jobs crisis in U.S.? Because admitting they are wrong even if it is obvious to others. Evidence and facts show they are wrong and still don’t change their minds. Because changing their mindset”  requires them to change their beliefs and view of the world.  These “true believers are emotionally stuck. So the only place they go for information is to Fox News and Rush “baby”.  Loads of research evidence suggests people tend to seek information that confirms their beliefs rather than disproves them. Want more information and detail on research see PsyBlog.

4th of July Challenge–Let Us Build a Strategy of Peace not War.

When a man’s way[s] please the Lord,” the Scriptures tell us, “He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.” And is not peace, in the last analysis, basically a matter of human rights: the right to live out our lives without fear of devastation; the right to breathe air as nature provided it; the right of future generations to a healthy existence?  JFK

Let us on this day of celebration of freedom renew the words of JFK  and begin as he said in our daily lives  seek peace before it is to late for all of us.  As JFK said at the Commencement address at American University June 10, 1963 “Wherever we are, we must all, in our daily lives, live up to the age-old faith that peace and freedom walk together. In too many of our cities today, the peace is not secure because freedom is incomplete. It is the responsibility of the executive branch at all levels of government — local, State, and National — to provide and protect that freedom for all of our citizens by all means within our authority. It is the responsibility of the legislative branch at all levels, wherever the authority is not now adequate, to make it adequate. And it is the responsibility of all citizens in all sections of this country to respect the rights of others and respect the law of the land…we shall also do our part to build a world of peace where the weak are safe and the strong are just. We are not helpless before that task or hopeless of its success. Confident and unafraid, we must labor on–not towards a strategy of annihilation but towards a strategy of peace.

Truly, as it was written long ago: “The wicked flee when no man pursueth.”

Attention Sales Managers who want POSITIVE Change…Learn “Process with Structure” Framework

New Roles for Sales Managers “Process with Structure” 

” If you don’t have a strategy, you will be permanently reactive and part of someone else’s strategy.” Alvin Toffler, author Future Shock    

Definition of Structure:

Structure is an entity or whole system (organization, department, team etc.) made up of parts (reward systems, values, workload, resources, allocation of budgets, market position, sales funnel and so on) that dynamically creates energy that facilitates success by forming interdependent relationships between goal orientated individuals.  Structure helps the parts of an organizations function together in predictable ways to achieve high levels of performance.  Most people think that structure means organization charts, boxes and reporting lines/relationships this is as helpful as saying people are skeletal structures as displayed in x rays.

Why new structural roles needed:

1. Increased customer demands and expectations of sales organizations to understand their business goals and marketplace needs
2. Want salespeople to be more business minded and consultative by providing solutions for business and market challenges and changes. 
3. Want more customized and creative solutions that help organization reach their market goals for increasing revenues and improved productivity.
4. Sales managers must develop new skills of strategy, field marketing communications coaching/training and coalition building with other departments in order to help sales people succeed in the future.
5. Customer is King and don’t ever forget.

Insyn Roles: “Form (role) follows structure”

• Strategist- skill in defining the future imperatives of industries and marketplace by identifying opportunities, messages and partnerships that need or want companies products and services. Also, the ability to identify new sales structures that will support changes in the makeup of the workforce and demands of the market place.
• Coalition Builder- focus on improved communications, network building and collaborative interpersonal skills
• Coach/mentor- provide support and direction for market changes and help in securing long-term customer relationships
• Advocate-for change/ change masters- Understanding the dynamics of change and reasons for implementation failure.  Understanding requires us to gather information and insights about structures that facilitate change strategies and implementation requires us to be thoughtful, disciplined, sensitive and creative in executing change processes or projects.

Issues for the Future

Not My Fault–Why we find it Difficult to Apologize

Eight reasons  we find it difficult to apologize. 

1  We think we are right and there is no need to apologize. We like to validate our point of view.

2  We don’t want to admit we were wrong or acted inappropriately.

3. We don’t want to let the other person off the hook—they must  suffer for a while.

4  If we forgive and apologize we think the behavior will happen again.

5  When we want to feel superior or one-up on th other[person

6.  We want them to take responsibility for their actions and learn from the impact of their actions..

7. We want then to be willing to remedy the situation.

8. Dualist thinker (right or wrong) and little flexibility

Another reason why it is difficult to apologize is that in behaving badly we feel stupid and find it difficult to admit our weaknesses and failures. my challenge to you is to try within the next 24 hour hours to forgive yourself and apologize for what you have done. You find power in owning your behavior .  Forgiving yourself  can lead to a greater self- awareness, a shift in stuck energy and a happier, more meaningful life.

Dealing with Constructive Personal Change: Handling the Bend in the Road

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. Follow the axiom “Learn to live and Live to learn and the curves served up to you  can be conquered. ” MW Hardwick  

Breaking through old habits, failure and personal change requires courage, resilience and action. Courage to see a brighter future. Resilience to snap back and recover from disappointments and failures and action to start doing what comes naturally and produce the results you envision.

“In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer

This important skill set can help break the rhythm and cycle of starting, stopping and returning to old patterns of worn-out and useless habits. This does not mean that change will be easy but it gives you hope that awareness and new skills can be learned and acted on.

Today’s world  is increasingly diverse and rapidly changing; so you need a tool set and array of skills and strengths to survive and thrive.  Every aspect of our lives is getting stretched –not enough time or money to do what we want to do. If stay stuck in the status quo your life is bound to be turned upside down in ways you can’t imagine.  I can’t think of any skill set  more important than the ones I mentioned above: courage, resilience and action..

These days, change comes at us like “white water rapids” or a “tornado.”  These significant changes appear  so quickly and from so many different directions, that it seems we operate in a perpetual state of uncertainty. Keeping your team be it a family or in an organization motivated, agile, focused, aligned,  and involved requires your personal leadership no matter what step on the  organization you are at.  A leader, no matter where they are in the organization  who can quickly identify issues, be calm, responsive and act quickly in tough situations is not just a necessity to have , but a requirement these days.

What does courage, resiliency and constructive action look like?  According to many scholars on Change Management like Kotter or  Daryl Conner or Kanter you need to have the following elements in your tool set: :

1. flexibility and agility 

Resiliency includes a special pliability when responding to uncertainty. When new opportunities present themselves or current approaches need to be adjusted, resilient leaders can make a decision even if it runs counter to previous thoughts. They seek alternative ways to view or define problems, and don’t allow themselves to get constrained by the thoughts or approaches of others. They tap into the best of existing ideas and information while also generating novel, untested ideas. They think expansively, combining ideas in unique ways and making connections between disparate ideas. Most of all, they demonstrate an ability to test, and if necessary, change deeply held beliefs and assumptions about issues. How? By asking “what if” questions and not getting trapped in old ways of thinking simply because they worked in the past.

3. Organized

When chaos abounds, resilient leaders develop structured approaches to managing ambiguity. They use frameworks to constantly sort and process information. They formulate clear decision criteria while considering implications and consequences in order to choose the most effective options. They get clear on what needs to happen, and develop systems or processes for getting things done in a timely manner. They think through steps and actions before jumping in. Once into action, they monitor results through follow-up systems and checking in with others.

3. Positive Disposition-Take advantage of the  5 to 1 rule. 

Resilient leaders see the glass as half full rather than half empty. They see opportunity where others see problems, and view change as a positive rather than a negative. When setbacks occur, they look for the lessons to be learned rather than berating themselves or others for failing to achieve the goal. When faced with adversity they remain focused on winning at all times, and keep everyone else in the organization focused in that direction as well.

4. Anticipate Change by paying attention and scanning the environment

Rather than letting change dictate their course of action, resilient leaders engage it head-on. They start by seeking information about new work situations and developing alternative plans and back-up scenarios for important activities. Then they target important areas for innovation and develop solutions that address meaningful work issues and opportunities. Resilient leaders ask questions of others before making final decisions, and ensure commitment and understanding of those decisions. They demonstrate decisiveness by taking timely action to address an issue, prevent a problem from arising, or solve a problem. They make explicit the key operating and financial performance measures and goals, and hold individuals and the organization accountable for achieving those results. When necessary, they take action beyond their job requirements in order to achieve the new objectives.

5. Ability to focus and remove interferences and distractions.

In the face of unexpected setbacks and disruptive change, resilient leaders do two very important things: they maintain a clear vision of what they want to achieve (winning) and they continually communicate to employees how the organization will still win.

Resilient leaders get others interested by engaging their imaginations, generating intrigue in the subject, and asking questions that stimulate new thoughts. They have a knack for sorting through large amounts of information and opposing points of view to settle on a decision. They follow through on commitments, and keep others informed when promises cannot be made. They participate in establishing individual and team goals, and then communicate over and over again how accomplishing those goals will enable the organization to achieve its vision of winning. Most important, they get the right things done without constantly pursuing other options that may or may not align to the objectives.

6 Trust. See http://the wick.wordpress.com/2010/09/25

Conclusion

Some people  have an innate talent for demonstrating courage, resiliency and constructive action. Others need to work at it. Either way, if we don’t have the knack for bouncing back quickly, and facing things we fear or the inability to act on insufficient information in a high velocity way you made stay stuck or be run over by the stresses and pressures in life.

Daily Quote and Reflection– What we face today looks like yesterday’s problems.

Daily Quote and Reflection:

“If we accept the common usage of words, nothing can be more readily disproved than the old saw, ‘You can’t keep a good man down.’ Most human societies of which we have any historical record have been beautifully organized to keep good men and women down.” John Gardner from book entitled

Excellence
or  

“What we have before us are some breathtaking opportunities disguised as insoluble problems.” John Gardner 1965 Speech.

Reflection: It is amazing how both of these ideas still hold true for us today. Women are still be discriminated against by doing the same jobs as men in many industries and receiving less pay. This irreprehensible.  What does Excellence mean to you? Let’s ponder together. Send me your ideas and I will post them.

Fear of Change–Learn to develop your courage muscle.

 

“”Their is nothing permanent accept change.” Heraclitus, Greek Philosopher

The key to embracing change and conquering your fear of change–is to look it the eyes.. be clear on what your goal is…developing a plan of action…take constructive action…received feedback on what worked and what didn’t…persevered with more action.. and you will never regretted the journey of personal development and change. And I’ve met many people who tell me how much they regret not being able to tackle their fears — and suffered because of it. Have the courage to keep experimenting until you conquer those fears.

As a training/consultant friend, who often says, “Don’t be one of those people who let negativity and regret take the place of dreams.”

So, stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle — with exercise. And when you do an activity outside your comfort zone a few times, you know what happens? That same activity becomes part of your comfort zone!

There’s another bonus when you’re willing to expand your comfort zone. When you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you’ll develop confidence in other areas, as well. It’s true! As I became more comfortable as a speaker, I also became a better teacher, communicator, consultant and coach… the list goes on and on.

You can try to deceive yourself that it is no big deal.  But be assured you won’t develop your potential to the fullest unless you are willing to tackle your fears. Life doesn’t reward those who refuse to take risks and challenges. Confront your fears and you’re on the way to developing your way to living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Use tis action learning activity to see the benefits–List your top ten fears and pick the one that interferes in you living a happier and productive life. Put that fear on a yellow sticky and now commit to changing the fear into an exciting opportunity for change. Your fear is__________________________________________________________. Now begin to challenge it in the next 24 hours to develop an action plan for change. Good Luck and stick with it till you conquer it. Remember there are somethings you can’t change and need to just accept but those you can change is where hope lies is in affecting the change that IS  YOU.

 

Confront Your Fears…False. Events. Appearing. Real

Find peace…and eliminate fears through taking the risks that make you uncomfortable. This is the challenge of growth and development.  As the old adage goes–”A hungry boxer is hard to beat. So how hungry are you?

Dealing with Fears—

As I sat in the audience listening to the facilitator from the Center for Creative Leadership, Jeri Lou Johnson, little did I know that one sentence was about to change my point of view on life. On this grey and dreary day Jeri Lou gave a marvelous presentation. She had many valuable things to say. But there was one line — one absolute gem — that stands out. Here’s what she said:

“If you want to learn who you are, you must be willing to be uncomfortable.”

I’ll never forget those words. And Jerri was right on the money. To achieve your goals and realize your potential, you must be willing to be uncomfortable, take risks — to do things that you’re afraid to do. That’s how you develop your potential!

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet, what do most people do when they face a tough situation or uncomfortable interaction? They irrationally think it is easier to avoid or back away from the situation or anxiety. They don’t take action.  I can tell you without hesitation that the above philosophy and behavior is a losing strategy. Show me a successful person and I’ll show you someone who confronts situations or interpersonal relationships that are uncomfortable and deals with their  fears and takes action, gets feedback and tries again.

Examining Our Fears

Have you ever been afraid or anxious before trying a new or challenging activity? Has that fear ever stopped you from taking action? I’m sure you’ve been paralyzed by fear at one time or another in your life. I know I have. That’s simply part of being human. Of course, every person has a different fear threshold. What frightens one person to death might have little impact on someone else. For example, to some, speaking in public or starting a new business is scary. Others might be fearful about confronting an authoritarian  boss for a raise… or learn how to swim or ask a good friend for a loan. Regardless of how trivial or silly you believe your fears may be, this lesson applies to you.

When I talk about fear, I’m not referring to physical risks that might injure you or endanger your health, such as mountain climbing or bungee jumping. I’m scared of those things, too — and I have no plans to do either of them. What I’m talking about here are those challenges that stand in the way of your personal and professional growth. These are the things that scare you but  you know are holding you back in your career or love life.

The Ultimate Solution: Just Do It

Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice, which, if followed, can transform your life. He said,“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” I know this advice makes good sense, but some people are just too afraid to act. Remember my prior words about the steep price you pay when you let your fears dominate you.

In the end, running away from your fears is a losing strategy. It will only bring you frustration and unhappiness. I can tell you that from personal experience.

There’s nothing wrong with having some fears. Successful people have fears. The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid. It’s not always easy, I’ll grant that. But you’ll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.

In the last 30 years, I’ve had the privilege of traveling throughout the United States and Canada… and doing hundreds of workshops and presenting to thousands of people. During all this time, I haven’t met one person who confronted their fears… looked them in face…developed a plan of action…took action…received feedback on what worked and what didn’t…persevered with more action.. who ever regretted the journey of personal development and change. And I’ve met many people who tell me how much they regret not being able to tackle their fears — and suffered because of it. Have the courage to keep experimenting until you conquer those fears.

As a training/consultant friend, Bob Heckman, often says, “Don’t be one of those people who let negativity and regret take the place of dreams.”

So, stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle — with exercise. And when you do an activity outside your comfort zone a few times, you know what happens? That same activity becomes part of your comfort zone!

There’s another bonus when you’re willing to expand your comfort zone. When you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you’ll develop confidence in other areas, as well. It’s true! As I became more comfortable as a speaker, I also became a better teacher, communicator, consultant and coach… the list goes on and on.

You can try to deceive yourself that it is no big deal.  But be assured you won’t develop your potential to the fullest unless you are willing to tackle your fears. Life doesn’t reward those who refuse to take risks and challenges. Confront your fears… and you’re on the way to developing your way to living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Now list one of your fears________________ and begin to challenge it in the next 24 hours.

Good Luck and stick with it till you conquer it.

Want to eliminate a bad habit? Change your Thinking and Attitude

There is an old saying that if you can’t do teach”. I disagree because the assumption of this quote forgets that the steps to changing behavior are learning the correct method for doing things and that teacher are not important in helping us gain knowledge and insight. Learning is the acquisition knowledge and skills through the following processes, such as:

1). Focusing on the awareness and attitude of the learner (get their attention).

2). Observe and model desired behavior.

3). Practice and feedback about our progress toward changing behavior

4). Replace the old with the new through positive reinforcement using the 5:1 rule (five positive comments for every negative one).

This smart approach follows a more enlighten philosophy supported by Andrew Bandrua, a guru in cognitive and social learning, who said, “to change behavior you must first change a person’s thinking”.