Archive for the 'Reflections' Category

17
Apr
12

Daily Quotes and Reflection: Power of First Impressions

Quotes:

The answer is that we are not helpless in the face of our first impressions. They may bubble up from the unconscious – from behind a locked door inside of our brain – but just because something is outside of awareness doesn’t mean it’s outside of control.”
Malcolm GladwellBlink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

 Its’  all about storytelling. It’s about creating a connection to the audience.”

Reginald Hudlin, President of Entertainment, BET

 Reflection: 

Spend more time on making a strong and lasting “first impression” on the audience. Like the old saying, you only get one chance for a great first impression. Overcoming a lack luster open to your presentation,  like a flat  or non-energized beginning, and then having to change that initial  poor image, takes lots to time and effort. Your initial first impression can make or break your presentation.

Action Assignment: You may not be making a speech today, but is helpful to practice how to make good first impressions. Today, stop and try to make a positive impression on someone you don’t know. After the interaction circle back to get some feedback–How did you come across to this person and what was their first impression of you? There is a lot to learn here because we all have “blindspots” between how we want to come across to others and their actual experience of you. 

 

01
Apr
12

New Poem –Life is a Gift by MW Hardwick

 

Life is a Gift by MW Hardwick 

Life is a GIFT , Receive and cherish it.

Life is short, make the most of it.

Life is nature, protect and conserve it.

Life needs a purpose, create and realize it.

Life is a challenge, face them…

Life is a game, learn the rules and play fairly.

Life is made-up of relationships connect, nurture, hold them dearly.

Life needs a purpose, create, and fulfill it…

Life is sad sometimes, embrace the feelings and move on…

Life is unfair, accept it.

Life is fun, enjoy these moments.

Life is an adventure, take some

Life is luck, be ready for it.

Life is fragile and precious, hug it…

Living and being in the one is living in the here and now…

Life is life, live it and love it… love it… Love every moment of it….

 

 

17
Feb
12

Revised Poem: My Mission–Art of Purposeful Living

My Mission: Art of Purposeful Living by M.W.Hardwick

To be alive is to have a Mission to dream and do…

to let go of fears and criticism and still act

to see beyond the obvious and mean-spirited…

to give credit away…make others feel important

to anticipate and articulate my vision, mission

to be enthusiastic, passionate and on PURPOSE…

to focus…to flex and be authentic

to challenge, collaborate…produce results 

to confront in a caring way…respect differences

Above all to keep my promises

Even in an uncertain world I don’t control

I act on purpose by respecting, being responsive  .

TO APPRECIATE AND ACKNOWLEDGE … By listening

and say THANK YOU, thank you, thank you…

and  PLEASE ….more often …

and…and… and … remember

To not blame others and put them down

to know  my stregths and limits

By ENJOYING THE HERE AND NOW…

And as Picasso once said “Action is the foundational key to all success”

to use my inspiration to discover new adventures…

Think big ideas and achieve through small smart-steps …

All of us are here for a purpose… Dare to create it

And wake up to the Art of the Possible …

Start today to forge your path…

Your unique path…

12
Feb
12

Daily Quote and Reflection: Empathic Culture Vs. Individualism

Just finished one of the most powerful books I have read in a long time by Jeremy Rifkin, entitled, The Empathic Civilization. His main point is that we are social animals and need to build on this inborn empathy to create a more positive and caring world. 

Quote: “Biologists and cognitive neuroscientists are discovering mirror-neurons—the so-called empathy neurons—that allow human beings and other species to feel and experience another’s situation as if it were one’s own. We are, it appears, the most social of animals and seek intimate participation and companionship with our fellows…If we can harness our empathic sensibility to establish a new global ethic that recognizes and acts to harmonize the many relationships that make up the life-sustaining forces of the planet, we will have moved beyond the detached, self-interested and utilitarian philosophical assumptions that accompanied national markets and nation-state governance and into a new era of biosphere consciousness.”

So how do we use our inborn ability to empathize and act on our innate desire to contribute to the common good for all? How can we take our genetic make-up —along with our values—and use it to move in a more positive direction of creating Common Ground and positivity, rather than negativity and out-dated philosophy of the “Individualism” or every man for themselves.

Reflection: Where do you come down on these two philosophies of life? What drives you to live one or the other

05
Feb
12

Daily Quote and Reflection–Filling time or leaving a footprint in Life?

Quote: We exist only to discover meaning and purpose in life; all else is a form of filling time.

Reflect: Often wonder what it means to be free to choose your destiny because so many of us are just going through the notions. Life is so hectic we seldom take some moments of solitude and reflection to contemplate what this thing called life really means. How do you get your  centered and focused on leaving a “footprint” ? What drives your work and play in life?

02
Feb
12

The Power of Pause in Making your Message “spontaneous and sticky”

Recently I listened to a roundtable discussion on the future of our city. Most short speeches were present with the speed of lightning. The speakers were professional architects, City Planners and Strategic Planners. There pitches were fast and felt like they were trying to beat the clock or just get done and back to their seats. As an audience it was difficult to absorb their points and understand their arguments or message.  But later on in the round table discussions, the experts seemed to settled down and began pausing when they spoke it was more conversational and spontaneous. I only wish they could have viewed their individual opening presentations. (3-5 min long) on video tape to see the difference between the formal pitch and the round table discussion.  Maybe next time in the back of the room someone will remove the green and red lights that keep the presenter focused on time rather than content with a sign that says take ” Deep breath, pause and speak”

What is the lesson for presenters to learn from this story? I think it is to realize that small changes like eye contact and pauses can make a big difference in how your speech is received and remembered.   The speed and pace of you’re talking has to find a natural balance—not to fast and not to slow. To monitor your natural pace you need to use the power of the pause. People who provide their audience time to digest their ideas and pitches have more success because they make it easier for people to ponder and assimilate their message. The next time you watch a speech from a TED Conference or C-Span pay attention to the really good speakers who use the pause to gather their ideas and others who distract you with their rapid fire deliver and fill speech such as um and other verbal tics.  Watch how they end a sentence or paragraph. Notice their ability to drop their voice and pause. The use of a well placed pause gives the listeners —  time to absorb and reflect on the words and the message. But when a presenter stands up in front of an audience, the stress of the situation triggers the brain chemistry to the “fight or flight response because of a rush of adrenaline which produces an increase heart rate and blood pressure that if not controlled causes the presenter who is anxious to speak faster and rush past the pauses. As a presenter you must remember that speech tempo is impacted by stress and anxiety. This faster pace delivery can lead to misunderstanding, overload and confusion for listeners.

Word and speech acceleration takes away from your ability to connect and meet your objectives for the presentation. Rapid pace not only makes a presenter appear anxious; it runs words together.  Professional speakers can learn a lot from watching actors who pay as much attention to the cadence of their speech as they do to the tone of their voices; and so, when actors end their sentences, they pause to punctuate the meaning of an idea.

Presenters would do well to give their audiences a moment to absorb and reflect on their message by pausing at the ends of their phrases. The best way to create a pause is to drop your voice at the end of your sentence or phrases. Sadly, many presenters who are inexperienced and anxious do the opposite; they let their voices fade off or rise at the end of their sentences, producing the dreaded “girlie uplift” .  If you concentrate on dropping your voice, you will not only sound more authoritative, you will add those valuable pauses so your will stay attentive and involved in your speech.

05
Dec
11

Daily reflection and exercise to improve Meaningful Constructive Living? Eliminate One Irrational Idea

Daily Reflection and exercise: On Clear and Raqtional Thinking.

Exercise: Identify which Irrational Ideas are true for you. Keep track this week how many times a particular IRRATIONAL IDEA is operating and interfering with you living a meaningful constructive life. Develop a plan for changing your thinking by identifying how you can think differently. Ask the questions: What can I do differently to create better results in my life?

By paying attention to your impact on others and listening to feedback from significant others you can eliminate irrational thinking and doing in your life. Significant others can provide straight talk about how your actions impact them. And others. Then you can decide what you need to change to be a more effective and congruent person. The congruent person has more comfort in life because their “inner thoughts” and feelings match what you show or do with and to others.

23
Nov
11

Thanksgiving Message–Poem of Gratitude

The only antidote for “greed” is generosity. Giving begets receiving. He who does not give doesn’t deserve to be given to; it is unjust for a stingy  or greedy person to receive. When you give, you don’t lose what you have given but have invested into your future, ’cause the hand that receives from you is indebted to you and will be there for you in the future….maybe.

Thanksgiving message Poem On Gratitude by MW Hardwick 

On Gratitude 

Giving of yourself is hard…

Is not easy the excuses abound—

Too busy

Too selfish

Too poor

Takes too much time

Others are lazy…

The excuses  go on and on…

Yet we could tell a more optimistic narrative—

Make space and time for people who need help

Volunteer for one meal at the homeless shelter

See others in a new light

Decide in your heart to do more…

Go from just talking about others who need help

Too helping someone in need…

Say thanks for all you have and others have given you…

Match your values and action.

Start with simple –steps…

hugs, kisses to those you love..

Do it now…now… now…

It is the right thing to do…

 
 
 
18
Oct
11

Daily Quote and Reflections: Thoreau’s take on problem solving and “root” change

Daily quote and Reflection: 

“There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.” -Walden 

Reflection: Thoreau was certainly a man who march to his own drummer. Cities and towns and urban life did not inspire or ignite his curiosity and creativity. It was nature and all its beauty and wonderment that trigger his perspective on life. I wonder if most appreciate nature so as to change our perspective of what is important in life? Maybe taking 10 minuets a day with nature would slow us down and provide space for renewal and soulful serenity. His ability to observe and become aware that most of our problem solving was superficial ( a thousand hacking at the branches) vs. real critical and deep thinking (striking at the root) provides a vision and a road map for us to stop and look at real causes to climate change, health care issues and equality which are tearing at the fabric of our Democracy

Action Challenge–Are you a root cause problem solver or  a superficial traveler in life?  What ways can you influence more profound change to save our freedoms and gian more personal grounding of what is important in living a Meaningful and Constructive Life?

09
Oct
11

Daily Quote and Reflection–Never Give-Up

Quote:

There is no use trying,” said Alice, “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  — Lewis Carroll  

Reflection:  This quote reminds me of the many times when I have felt down and just then I listen to a flash and new energy appears. With that new energy I am propelled forward to see connections I hadn’t seen before and realize that I may have a 100 new ideas a day I just need to know how to filter the good ones from the bad. What I do is to seek feedback from trust friends. The only caution I have is that when you are open to feedback don’t just be looking for confirmation. Don’t be discouraged because many of your friends may not have the risk level you have. Listen carefully to the feedback and let your intuition guide you to what is really possible or is just  magical thinking.

Action: When was the last time you had a “flash of brilliance” that  you act on? If it has been awhile take the time today to relax and listen to your intuition. You will be surprised how creative you can be. Good Luck and Never Give-up. 

06
Oct
11

New Poem 0n Steve Jobs —Vision of a Leader…The heart of a Warrior. by M.W.Hardwick

Vision of a Leader…The heart of a Warrior by M.W.Hardwick

Steve Jobs was a special kind of person—a true visionary,

He saw the future and what we wanted before we knew

He show he cared …by never settling but always pushing for more…

Still so  much to do..then his body failed him

He choose to be the best he could be… always playing to win…Never settling

He was the voice for those …who march to their own drummer.

He had  the intuition to Believe…

He was bruised and battered…and always got Back Up

Failures…only Made him Stronger….

Always pushing him to the edge of New Beginnings

Music, movies and telephones…the modern day Thomas Edison…

Obstacles lie before him …others discouraged him but no one could stop him

Failures…and being fired only Make him Stronger..

He saw a better Future..he followed his heart..

Together we can do more…

He never gave-up… Never Gave In…

His voice…goes on..goes on …till it does not

Living his motto of  Stay Hungry…Stay foolish

Death makes room for the new by replacing the old.

He said –”Love what you do…

Live each day like it was your last…remember you are going to die is the best way to evaluate your life’s action

If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.

Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Don’t be trapped by dogma

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

He loved life and especially  Laurene and his children…

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

Find what you love and love what you do. ..do great work…

If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.

Until you find it…”

We are all going to die so

“…live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

Keep hope alive and have the courage to change your ways……

Focus on your values and priorities…they help you make  the big choices in life.

Remembering that you are going to die is the way to avoid the trap of  playing not to lose.

“You are already naked. Already naked…

There is no reason not to follow your heart.

No one wants to die. But it is life’s change agent.

As we all today remember Steve I am sure his wish for us would be:

Stay Hungry…Stay foolish…

And don’t settle…push forward and make you own music….own music

/article/700185500/Steve-Jobs-Commencement-speech-at-Stanford-University.html?s_cid=rss-34

22
Sep
11

New Poem: Alone… with Secrets,Demons and Dreams

Alone… with Secrets, Demons and Dreams —by MW Hardwick 

Things get hectic and complicate as soon as humans enter the equation

Are they laughing at me or wanting do me harm

Am I just “making shit-up” or is this real?

Yelling at myself stop…stop… stop…leave me alone

And yet thoughts seem to overwhelm and overlap in my brain like crashing waves

No space for rational ideas…or calm

I rush deeper down and further inside.

My fears mount and I battle the panic–

But comfort and peace do not COME

Sweat pours down my face and tears well-up

It reminds me of other times when confusion struck

And I barely hung on…

Please- no more talking, hospitals or self-imposed jails…

Is there a conspiracy to harm me or what?

What in the world have I done OMG…OMG

Maybe I need to ask for forgiveness–but what for?

But inside I am melting down…

Do you hear my cries for help?

Take a breath–breathe deeply exhale  slowly…  smile…

And slowly count One, two,three, 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19

Twenty–they told me this always works to center yourself but where is the calmness?

Then the phone rings…rings and rings and I stop

So I now need to talk but I am uneasy, guarded and careful

Will I  just fill the airwaves with Blah, Blah, Blah

I am not clear on how idle chit-chat leads

Could this be someone calling about what I am thinking…

Nonsense just pick it up and listen to who it is and what they want…

Thank goodness it’s you

We talk about my fears, reality and crossed wires

I take three more deep breaths and realize it’s time for darkness and my dreams…

And friends…alone …alone

Oh, the battle to stay grounded and to see and think clearly

Maybe rest will give me respite

From these fears…oh so many fears…

I glance at the mirror and my face sternly looks back and says

YOU TELL ME YOUR FEARS AND SECRETS and I WILL TELL YOU MINE…

I guess it’s time to dream about eating lemon squares…and cinnamon rolls…

And making this sad world a paradise…a paradise…so we all can be happy again

Say goodnight to Secrets, Demons and Dreams…Alone at last…

ALONE AT LAST…alone at last… 

20
Sep
11

Resilience and Recovery–Reflections on 9/11

Quote:  ”In the face of unexpected setbacks and disruptive change, resilient leaders do two very important things: they maintain a clear vision of what they want to achieve and they continually communicate to others how the country, organization or individuals can identify problems and  find their way forward.” Mark W Hardwick, Ph.D. 

Reflection: Going through my stack of unread journals and other stuff I recently came across the Newsweek edition published on September12, 2011. Their series of articles were titled RESILIENCE a powerful framework for looking back and forward sense the events of  9/11 ten years ago. They focused on  overcoming fear, grief and revenge to reflect on how to overcome severe traumatic events like 9/11.  But the most powerful piece was about how we have recovered. Resilient leaders get others interested by engaging their imaginations, generating intrigue in the subject, and asking questions that stimulate new thoughts. They have a knack for sorting through large amounts of information and opposing points of view to settle on a decision. They follow through on commitments, and keep others informed when promises cannot be made. They participate in establishing individual and team goals, and then communicate over and over again how accomplishing those goals will enable the organization to achieve its vision of winning. Most important, they get the right things done without constantly pursuing other options that may or may not align to the objectives. The real impact of tragedy on the scale of 9/11 is to test our commitment to the great American experiment and build a more empathic shared meaning of what Democracy means in our daily interactions  and collective consciousness. 

 More ideas on Trust. See http://the wick.wordpress.com/2010/09/25

12
Sep
11

The Inner Game of Presentations–Duarte’s Golden Rule

 

Quote:  “A meeting is a game,” said Dave Gray of Duarte and Associates. “there’s no reason it can’t be fun.” Imagine if more of our meetings incorporated principles of games in them.  I think they would inspire a lot less aggravation, agitation, and apathy and instead evoke anticipation, action and appreciation. So ask yourself, “What does this slide say about me/my idea?”  If the answer conjures up unpleasant images of pocket protectors or big hair, take another pass at your slides, and remember Duarte’s Golden Rule: Never deliver a presentation you wouldn’t want to sit through.”

Reflection: I recently did a blog post at thewick about effective meetings, but did not include the issue of fun or entertainment. If you are a leader of a meeting and you have not given this rule any thought then I recommend not only the Duarte Rule but the Six Golden Rule method for conducting meetings

12
Sep
11

Daily Quote and Reflection: Are you reaching your Potential?

Daily Quote:

“The process of the good life is not, I am convinced, a life for the faint-hearted. It involves the stretching and growing of becoming more and more of ones potentialities. It involves the courage to be. It means launching oneself fully into the stream of life.” Carl Rogers

Reflection : My favorite wise man of interpersonal connections is Dr. Carl Rogers, father of the humanistic movement called Client-Centered Therapy. His humanistic approach to working with clients challenged Freud and Skinner as a thought leader because he believed in the potential of people not just focusing on their sickness or weaknesses. He believed in providing a client-centered environment where people could work on solving their own issues. here are some his favorite questions:–What have you ever dreamed of becoming?  What are the limits and conditions that interfere with you becoming  the person you want to be? Reflect on the most important compliments and praise you ever received ? When in your life did you experience unconditional positive regard?  These questions reflect the notion that Unconditional positive regard is a core condition to a healthy and vibrant life. Also a core condition is the acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does is the road to becoming a fully functioning person. To grow a person needs an environment an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with respect and dignity) and empathy (being listened to and understood). Without these, relationships and healthy personalities will not develop as they should, much like a tree will not grow without sunlight and water.

Rogers believed that every person can achieve their goals, wishes and desires in life because life is not determined and predestined. I think his greatest contribution was the optimistic view that  we behave as we do because of the way we perceive our situation and experiences in life. “As no one else can know how we perceive, we are the best experts on ourselves.” When a person is self-aware and clear on their strengths and weaknesses and acts to always keep growing or becoming , we are congruent and self actualization can take place.

Activity: So the question to reflect on today is that if you believe that within every person there is a “best self” capable of goodness, happiness, and choices what is standing in your way from creating the best you can be?




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