Creating Trusted Business Relationships: Be a Person for Others

Daily Quote: ”I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” – Jackie Robinson, First African American Major League baseball player

“The friendships which last are those wherein each friend respects the other’s dignity to the point of not really wanting anything from him.”- Cyril Connolly

Reflection:

Core of Respect for others is a mindset that fosters building effective and long-term trusting relationships.  In this instance, it involves listening to and understanding the other person, noticing details about them and their situation, and then taking an active role in doing something about it. I really consider this to be a strong Quality of worklife (QWL) culture where respect + solution oriented action =friendship and loyalty. Taking action is about participating rather than observing which is essentially communicating disinterest or not caring behavior. Unique connected behavior has the benefit of the concept many are calling purpose-centered behavior which is the reward system for doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Everything we do, say and act on has a reaction –there are no neutral moves. Because we are connected, almost as quickly as one positive happens the next is sure to follow. This concept is so important, it will change the way you think and do things indefinitely as well as everyone you come into contact with.

Call for Action: What can you to today to create trust and respect at your work place?  Use the Stop-Think-Do technique to get started in creating a more respectful climate and more trusted relationships.   

To Win from Within–Start with Straight Thinking and Straight Talking

INTRODUCTION: THE BIG IDEA –Redefining the Inner Game                                      

Approximately 40 years ago, Tim Gallwey developed a powerful self-development model called: the Inner Game. His principles and methods over the years inspired and continue to ring true for many people. His principles have been the foundation for people to improve their performance and self-confidence inside and outside the sports world. The exciting thing now is how neuroscience research on the brain says that the joy of feeling good is a conscious state of mind, rooted in the neocortex, the region of the brain responsible for thinking, planning, and decision–making: You ace you opponent in tennis or get a standing ovation after a speech and think, “I really feel good.”

This research on the brain is shedding light on how the inner game is tied to the neocortex synapses and neurotransmitters. The brain works to influence and propel our outer world behavior. The critical cornerstone of Galleway’s model and the Inner Game principles is the distinction between different internal voices called Self 1 and Self 2.  For definitional purposes Self 1 is the voice characterized by critical and doubting internal self-talk that evaluates and provides obstacles for performance improvement, and Self 2, gives voice to the natural source of your talent, confidence and capabilities to be the best you can be.  Self 1 is the unproductive thinking driven by fear and self-doubt that interferes with your ability to reach your true potential. Self 2 is the voice that emerges naturally from your own deepest experiences, convictions, values and mental wiring.  Many of the difficulties in succeeding in business are related to the ability to be an effective communicator, whether speaking one-on-one  or 1 to thousand in a big ballroom.

New Presentation Playbook for “Winning from Within”

“Knowing yourself and being present and sensitive to expectations and needs of others is the beginning of “learning how to learn.” Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D. 

In a world where communication effectiveness is the critical key to success for team and interpersonal interactions–many of us do not spend enough time on improving our people skills. In essence, my vision is to change the world of presentation one performance and one person at a time. The way I teach it varies from engagement to engagement and person to person. Some of my teaching is one on one coaching, sometimes in small groups and some times to large audience trying to model and demonstrate effective engagement and connection strategies and tactics.I like to thoroughly understand who I am talking with and identifying what they want to accomplish to become better communicators.

The Presenter’s Playbook for Winning from Within. Includes but is not limited to the following principles:

1. Embrace the challenge of the presentation and opportunity to show your best.

2. Trust and believe in your message and ability to deliver it in a memorable way.

3. Get out of worrying about acceptance and results and into the process of connecting with the audience

4. Be audience-centered and focused not self-centered and arrogant.

5. Be prepared to accept surprises and be confident that nothing will upset you on the platform.

6.  Learn to be flexible and open and ready to change at any moment by reading your audience and listening for non-verbal feedback

7. Don’t just “wing it”  learn to love planning, design and deliberative practice.

8.. Love your message and audience–don’t effort or try so hard be authentic. Learn to be in the moment and play to your natural strengths

9. Respect audience attention span and learning capacity.–Don’t over load them with facts , figures and information

10. Remember — Perfection is a killer to spontaneity so be  present in the moment and  have fun doing it. Be your own best friend.

 

 

 

Daily Quote and Reflections: Power of Genuineness in Building Trusted Partnerships

Quote: ”You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie

Reflection : Genuinely caring for and recognizing the accomplishments of others helps to create unique connections and builds trusting relationships. This approach reduces competition with others and creates a more positive and collaborative climate to accomplish goals and increase work place satisfaction. Confidence is required to command respect, but authenticity and genuineness are the glue for building long-term relationships.

Action Challenge: In the next thirty days create a relationship development plan consisting of five key people in your life and commit to building a “trusted partnership”. One suggestion is to show more positivity toward them by doing specific activities that focus on recognizing and supporting their effort to accomplish their goals.   

Daily Quote and Reflection–Framework for Successful Job Interviewing

Quote: ” Before you even think about assessing people for a job, they have to pass through three screens. The first test is for integrity. People with integrity tell the truth, and they keep their word. The second test is for intelligence. The candidate has a strong dose of intellectual curiosity, with a breadth of knowledge to work with or lead other smart people in today’s complex world. The third ticket to the game is maturity—the ability to handle stress and setbacks, and enjoy success with equal parts of joy and humility. I then apply the “4-E (And 1-P) Framework” for hiring that I’ve found consistently effective, year after year, across businesses and borders. The first E is positive energy. It means the ability to go go go—to thrive on action and relish change. The second E is the ability to energize others, and inspire them to take on the impossible. The third is edge, the courage to make tough yes-or-no decisions. The fourth E is execute—the ability to get the job done. Then I look for that final P, passion—a heartfelt, deep and authentic excitement about work”. Jacek Welch, Former CEO of General Electric

Reflection: I think Jack had a unique framework for finding talent or A players as he called them. The only dimension missing in his first three screens was to measure for Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence, is defined as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions”. Recent studies on leadership and recruiting talent see EI as critical for predicting job success. Freedman et al.: “Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the “success” in our lives.” 
–From Handle With Care: Emotional Intelligence Activity Book  

Welch’s 4 E’s + P are more specific and powerful because they hone-in on key behaviors that company HR people ar looking for. His 4E’s are helpful for people interviewing when you combine them with my PAR concept for preparing for a job interview.  

Action Activity: I f you are preparing for a job interview develop some examples that would help you answer Welch’s criteria and create real world answers for the PAR questions. If you do this preparation you fwwl more confident in the interview and impress the interviwer with your EQ and Communication skills. Good Luck   

Daily quote and Reflection: Communication Our Greatest Achievement or Our biggest Deficit ?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Man’s supreme achievement in the world is communication from personality to personality” Karl Jasper

Reflection: I do agree that communication is man’s greatest achievement but the problem is that most of us are not very good at it. Our technical advances in communication have been far and wide, and people still struggle with the most important form of communication–face to face conversations. Many find it difficult to do in their places of work and others find it most difficult to accomplish with those we love and live with. Maybe this situation has been with us forever but I have been increasing worried and aware of the ineffectiveness of most of our interpersonal communication. It is rare to find a friend or group of colleagues who opening and sincerely share what really matters. My belief is that this situation has evolved  because of the hectic pace we are now living, or because we are just unwilling to share our feelings or truly listen and understand others and possibly it is because we have never learned how to effectively communicate. I have never seen a class on listening and communication in our public schools but a lot of emphasis on reading, math and science.  Yet communication has been seen as one of the biggest problems for failure in marriages and the workplace.  This interpersonal communication deficit in modern times affects the all the major institutions of our life from politicians to constituents, unions to management, doctors and patients and most of all parents to children. Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.

Action Activity: In the next 24 hours pick a communication skill like listening and reflecting feelings with someone who generally you ignore or tune out. Capture your observations and learning.  Remember the Rule of Change says” Things do not remain the same. If they don’t get better, they get worse.”  Good Luck 

Daily Quotes and Reflection–Trust and Vulnerability

Quotes:

“Vulnerability is . . . part of being human.  It’s as simple and as complicated as that. If we can’t be in touch with (and openly share) both our vulnerability and our strength in a balanced way, our self-regard suffers—and we won’t see others or ourselves clearly.” Dr. Carl Rogers

Trust is …is being courageous enough to open fully to another and accept the vulnerability of this state of being…

Reflection: I think to be trusting you need to be comfortable about self-disclosure and realize in being open you are vulnerable to other people labeling you less than… In addition, you risk being labeled as something you are not.   Trusting requires you to have a clear and strong self-awareness.  Trusting removes defensiveness and enables you to connect in a more meaningful way we others.

Action Assignment: Complete the following sentence to get at how and why you trust others.

When dealing with others trust is___________________________________.

Then reflect on your  sentence and try to figure out whether you give trust freely to others or they have to earn trust.

Eliminating Asshole behavior-Learn how to Frame Conflict and feedback for change

Recently, I re- read the enjoyable and insightful book on how to spot and deal with Assholes in the workplace. I highly recommend it if you are locked into constant battles with a difficult employees. Dr. Robert Sutton’s through analysis and honest inspection of the Asshole Personality provides tips on a problem solving framework for creating a mental “frame of reference” for dealing with the  “intent” behind their behavior. It establishes a context and tools within which specific information can be shared, understood and new approaches to restoring a workable and hopefully positive climate for communicating different views of the world can be developed.

A mind set is what you say at the beginning of the feedback process that tells the other person, in one sentence, what your expectations are, what you want to accomplish, what role  you perceive the other person plays in the stalemate and what you want to take away from the process and how we can agree on a solution that works for both of us . LASTLY, HOW WE ARE GOING TO EVALUATE OUR PROGRESS TOWARD RESOLUTION AND A NEW OF OPERATING TOGETHER.

This approach frames the specific behavioral feedback along with the impact of that behavior. When done well, it diminishes defensiveness and creates greater receptivity to solve the conflict and change the situation toward a win-win solution and an improved “quality of worklife”.

Shifting contexts is the skill of flexible-responsiveness that removes obstructions to listening or understanding information. It shifts the discussion to another frame or reference in order to break a logjam in understanding and change. An example, “We seem to be stuck here. What if we were to step back and talk about what our hopes are if we could create a better work experience where the union reps like yourself and management are not locked into win-lose attacks and arguments?

When the other person seems to be focusing on the negative and seems to be resistant to what is being said, it is often their frame of reference that need to be shifted.

Power Question formats are skill sets that engage the interest, curiosity and cooperation of others. Often, by asking a powerful question, we can help someone open up to hear what is being said.

Examples: “If you were in my shoes and I had engaged in this behavior, what would you have to say about it and how would you hope that I would respond?” “What is the best way for me to help you hear some feedback that points out how you could be performing better?”

This goes hand-in-hand with the skill of  Active Listening –to take the time to show someone we have heard and understood their reality–them through eye contact, summarizing their key points and asking follow-up questions to get more depth and understanding. It models how to receive input.

Constructing confrontational/appreciation messages has been written about in a prior column. In summary it is clarifying intent (mindset) for the feedback and communicating that at the beginning of the process. Then specifying specific behavior and following up with its impact on others, work, team, process or relationship.

Next you seek to understand by asking their intent and actively listening to them. You then summarize what you heard and review the behavior and the impact once again. Finally, you collobrate in creating an action plan and commitment to ask for their help in designing a path forward.

Designing action plans is the skill of outlining clear action items for process improvement. The secret to doing this well is to ensure that all actions are behaviorally specific, measurable and have some timeline attached to them. Follow-through is the skill of making sure that you reinforce the action plans by talking about progress or lack of progress in an on-going process.

Finally, setting up feedback loops is a skill set that helps identify formats, times and processes for ensuring that on-going feedback is occurring and that results of behaviors are communicated back to others in an on-going way.

If all this fails and you are in a position of power you may be forced to just fire the person.

Gestures and other non-verbal communication tips to support and amplify “sticky” message

”What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” —Emerson

One of the most frequently asked question of presentation coaches is “What do I do with my hands or eyes” and How do I use gestures to connect or hurt my performance ? The worst thing you can do is to try to think about what you’re saying and figuring out at the same time how to gesture, move  use your hands, where you need to stand etc. One of the most important things to understand about presenting is that being yourself which includes aligning gestures with words and intent must be natural if you are going to be perceived as open, trustworthy and authentic.

My advice is to review a video of yourself presenting and you will quickly see how you come across to people. Any habit used to often in a presentation can become a distraction to the audience. For example, finger pointing or moving around the podium randomly will diminish your effectiveness and impact. Now let’s look at some Non-Verbal communication tools that support and amplify “sticky” message

 Handshake.  Firm and palm-to-palm contact is important for demonstrating confidence and sincerity. The fish shake with the tips of the fingers of the hand  signals insecurity and lack of confidence.  The handshake can leave either a good, poor or weak first impression and of course, comes into play to signal agreement or goodwill at the end of a meeting.

Eye contact. The eyes are the most powerful part of our body language, and can express everything from happiness, annoyance, interest, boredom and frustration. Consistent and frequent  eye contact using the technique of presenter communicating one thought to one person is a powerful way to build rapport and is usually perceived as the speaker being warm, honest and engaging. Darting eyes and looking over the heads of the audience is interpreted as nervousness, aloofness or disengagement by the audience.
Gestures:  Hands, Arms and legs position. Folded arms or crossed legs, perhaps turning away slightly, indicates a lack of interest and detachment. Later uncrossed arms and legs may be a sign of acceptance of your position or terms. An expressive presentation style will have toes pointed out and hands open when gesturing.   A less dynamic and shy presentation style  will point at members of the audience and keep their toes pointed in. None of these come through as positive gestures to the audience.
Posture and Movement. If you are trying to appear confident and authoritative, stand erect with shoulders back and legs about 12” apart with one leg further forward than the other . A slumped position usually indicates insecurity, nervousness and uneasiness.
Facial expression. A critical message delivered with a smiling face will have a totally different impact than one delivered with a stern or frowning face. In ability to smile or laugh sincerely makes you appear to be robitic or stiff as a presenter. Think here Al Gore or Mitt Romney who demonstrate that stiffness doesn’t work, because the warmth and sincerity is lost.

One last tip do not try to choreography or structure nonverbal behaviors. I’ve seen far too many presenters attempt to illustrate their narrative with specific gestures and wind up looking like buffoons. Instead, use your hands, arms and movements as you do naturally, to illustrate what you are saying. However, I do recommend one gesture: to extend your hand and arm periodically, bridging the gap between you and your audience  with your hand in handshake position or palms up signalling openness to comments and feedback

Bottom Line vs Power Of Emotional Intelligence: Review 19 Research Studies

“Research by the Center for Creative Leadership has found that the primary causes of
derailment in executives involve deficits in emotional competence. The three primary
ones are difficulty in handling change, not being able to work well in a team, and
poor interpersonal relations.”

This is only one study that highlights the importance of Emotional Intelligence and other factors in being successful in business. To do more investigation checkout the through discussion on why EI is one of the most important elements for any organization in reaching their productivity, profitability and people goals.

The 19 studies reported by Cary Cherniss, Ph.D. at Rutgers University, is part of a larger effort by the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations 

This report builds an over whelming business  case for how emotional intelligence contributes to the bottom line in any work organization. Based on data from a variety of sources, this report can be a valuable tool for HR practitioners and managers who need to make the case  for more assessment EI in recruiting and Leadership and Manger training using EI has the foundation for improving their business culture.

As you read the Report try to identify three ways that you could use EI in your organization and always we look forward to hear your feedback an insights.

Ripple Effect #2 —Oxytocin Recptor can trigger empathy and listening

Listen with the whole body; make eye contact with the intention of really seeing and connecting with the speaker; and offer connecting gestures without interrupting the speaker to share your own comments or stories. Simple—but not always easy to do when we’re distracted, busy, or stressed out ourselves. This approach to empathic listening can be a powerful gift to the person who is talking, because it encourages more openness and sharing at deeper conversational levels. It helps us stay grounded in the “here and now” moment, and more fully atunetuned with another person sharing his or her experience with us.

This type of active listening is a positive impact that “ripples” through the audience. It shows how one small action can have a big influence on the learning environment and receptivity of the audience to your message. As a speaker you can initiate a positive feeling from the audience that can have a virus type effective.  Being pro-active with positive gestures can trigger and engage audience members brain receptors like oxytocin in audience members.

When we have the intention to experience and offer empathy, we can make choices—even small ones, like how we make non-verbal expression of contact can lead to audience members authentic experience of caring and empathy from the speaker.

Research Reference:

A Kogan, LR Saslow, EA Impett, C Oveis, D Keltner, S Rodrigues Saturn. Thin-slicing study of the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) gene and the evaluation and expression of the prosocial disposition. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2011; DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1112658108.

Keys to Presentation Mastery: Ability to Read and Observe Self and Others

“You can observe a lot by watching.”  Yogi Berra

Check your level of competence in engaging audience members:

1. Do you have the ability to note your audience needs and expectations?

2. Ability to red verbal and non-verbal behaviors in the audience and use these observations to clarify and challenge audience members in a productive way?

3. Ability to mirror non-verbal behaviors of audience members like body positions eye contact patterns of facial expressions and vocal qualities that reinforce positive message you are trying to deliver?

4. Ability to read and note discrepancies between your self and the audience and then adapt on your feet to re-connect with the audience?

After reviewing the checklist evaluate your competence by scoring yourself from 1 poor to 10 excellent ability in performing these behaviors. The ones you are able to do keep doing and the ones where you score below 3 or lower can become improvement goals for your next presentation. You will find that through awareness, repetition and practice your connection with the audience and your ability to influence their points of view and action will soar.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Power of Choice

 

Quote:

“I have come to a frightening conclusion. 
I am the decisive element in the classroom.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis
will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized. Dr.Haim Ginott,  Between Teacher and Child

Reflection: Haim Ginott is one of my all time favorites when it comes to common sense not commonly practiced in relationships especially when dealing difficult interactions. I think he nails the approach which works best in crisis situations or when the person be it a child, spouse or a friend. His advise that our attitude determines whether an interaction is experienced as positive or negative is important tool in our arsenal for better interpersonal interactions. 

Action Assignment: The next time their is out gurst in your family and things are ready to get over heated try these two techniques instead of yelling shouting or gatting out of control

1. Step back and take a deep breath and say to yourself STOP

2. Remain CALM AND IN A MATTER OF FACT VOICE SAY TO THE CHILDREN–WHEN YOU—-START YELLING-AT YOUR BROTHER——————-I FEEL-ANGER, FRUSTRATED————————– BECAUSE——WE CAN’T CONTINUE TO TO SHOP —————-  SO UNTIL THINGS CALM AND YOU CAN TAKE TURNS TALKING WE ARE NOT GOING TO SHOP ANY MORE.    sEE IF THIS APPROACH DOESN’T EASE TENSION AND STOP THE ESCALATION  OF EMOTIONAL REACTIONS. 

 

Rapport Builders–What is your 1 Minute “UNIQUE CONNECT” ?

“…the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships”. – Deborah Tannen. Ph.D.

Many times the most important time during a conference is the coffee break. Recently, I observed during our coffee breaks interactions.  Many of these doctors were definitely intelligent and on top of their expertise but given that this was a conference focusing on high cholesterol and relationship to genetics, physical exercise and food. There were many people with similar back grounds and experience. If each of these people only had 1 minute they would use to introduce themselves while pouring coffee or reaching for a  donut …what would they say?  Would they fall into the rut of describing their medical specialty or where they worked or were from?  “Hi, I’m Dr. Bob Smith and I’m Director of clinical practice at st.Mary’s in Northland, Michigan.”  Or would they have a clear, and compelling introduction that made other people interested and curious because they were  different from all the others in the crowd?  The goal is to pique someone’s interest.  To get them to say “tell me more” or to ask a question. What you say that might help you connect with the other person in a unique way. As you might know — my rapport building 3 minuets self-intro would be:  “Hi, I’m Mark Hardwick. I facilitate sessions on –How presentations and compelling communications can change the world of medicine. One doctor at a time.”  What would your 1 minute opener be?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Are we in Danger of Losing our Listening and Understanding of Others?

Daily Quote According to Julian Treasure we have a major problem in interpersonal communications–”We Losing our ability to listen and understand others—We spend  65% of our day listening and only remember 25% of what is said to us.”

Reflection: What caught my attention, however, was the section where he talks about listening for leaders, teachers, spouses, parents or friends.  He uses “Rasa”, the sanskrit word for essence, as an acronym for effective listening  The essence of effective listening is to use-Rasa (Receive, Appreciate Summarize and  Ask) to be more engaged in the art of effective listening.

What caught my attention, however, was the section where he talks about listening for leaders, teachers, spouses, parents or friends.  He uses “Rasa”,  meaning the essence or core , as an acronym for:

Receive – pay attention and make a unique connect

Appreciate – show that you are engaged and interested –turn-off the cell and put down the Blackberry etc.

Summarize – make sure you understood

Ask – expand your knowledge

Other topics he tackles in this AHA Speech are the barriers to listening. He says we are to impatient and pickup just  sound bites, we are all too much in a hurry and no one teaches us about the importance and how to listening more effectively. We must all learn to listen more consciously to understand each other by consciously listening for understanding, rather than shouting, criticizing and judging others. If concentrate on learning the skills of listening we can create a better world by understanding and respecting others.

Here is my reflective challenge for you –View the TED video by Julian Treasure then ask Are you embracing listening in your daily interactions ?  In your different roles of parent, teacher, mentor are your actions aligned with the RASA elements of listening. And if not how could you put them into your life so that relationships become more effective?

Cure for America’s Lack of Vision and Direction– New Leaders Needed…

“We must be silent before we can listen. We must listen before we can learn. We must learn before we can prepare. We must prepare before we can serve. We must serve before we can lead.” ~ by William Arthur Ward 

Starting and building a better America is all about leadership – a “flash of brilliance”, honing the idea, building an involved team and followers and developing strategic plans based on vision and experience. What have I missed on –Oh Yeah, creating an environment for growth and clearing a path over and through all negative objectors and real obstacles. Yet the image of leadership in government and business is at an all-time low, according to national leadership experts, considering the political debacles, record business bankruptcies, and executive fraud cases. For example read what James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner in their book on Leadership view credibility as the foundation of future leaders. They say “Leaders we admire do not place themselves at the center; they place others there. They do not seek the attention of people; they give it to others. They do not focus on satisfying their own aims and desires; they look for ways to respond to the needs and interests of their constituents. They are not self-centered; they concentrate on the constituent. . . Leaders serve a purpose and the people who have made it possible for them to lead . . . . In serving a purpose, leaders strengthen credibility by demonstrating that they are not in it for themselves; instead, they have the interests of the institution, department, or team and its constituents at heart. Being a servant may not be what many leaders had in mind when they choose to take responsibility for the vision and direction of their organization or team, but serving others is the most glorious and rewarding of all leadership tasks.” ~ by James Kouzes and Barry Posner in Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It.

If the country is to recover financially, politically, and emotionally new transformational leaders will have to emerge. It will take new leaders who understand that leadership is a about flexibility, serving people through participatory processes,  not power and commands. These leaders will identify the problems people want solved not made-up issues such as deficit spending during a time of joblessness and poor consumer confidence. These new leaders will be citzen-centered rather than self-centered, having the mental mindset of collaboration and flexibility, authenticity, innovation and focus on problem solving and results. They will have the required passion, perseverance, assertiveness and ethical character to do what is right to achieve shared goals.  For example, having everyone including the very rick 2% of Americans and big Corporations  pay their fair share to get America back on track. What these new leaders will focus on is developing relationships across party lines so as to find common ground in making America strong again.

Let’s examine the lack of leadership in our government. This Citzen-Ccentered leadership style will be  different from many media reports that  see leadership as position power and character driven. Leaders  before being elected will have to show proven track records for producing results through democratic processes and engagement with people. Here are some of the keys for succeeding as a leader in the 21st Century::

• Communication skills of Active Listening and Empathy are the most important skills for a future leader. We need to pay attention to the words and actions of others while suspending judgment long enough to allow your thinking to catch up with your emotional instincts. Why? Because as leaders, if we speak too soon, we shut off communication and stifle innovation and problem solving.  When shut of communication we create divisiveness and encourage decreased involvement and participation. We create an environment of win-loss thinking and dictatorial mandates that do not gain the support of followers. Thus, creating a more tribal  and patrician approach to governance than pluralist involved electorate.
• Leadership is a learned behavior, not a character trait. Good judgment, for example, is certainly a hallmark of exceptional leadership, but it isn’t something you are born with. “More than anything, good judgment comes from listening and learning how to cooperate and gain public or employee support for their vision and initiatives.

• Communicating and storytelling. This is not a skill everyone is born with, but it’s a skill we can all develop. People on your team want to believe! They want to believe you know where we are going, that you keep your promises or you will get us there even if you are not  sure of the exact path at this moment. They want stories that inspire them and encourage their involvement in creating their own constructive solutions to problems.

• MMFI Rule and Recognition for contribution for team success. This is necessary to sustain motivation during the hard times. It’s not hard to do and doesn’t require a lot of effort or expensive gifts. A thank-you note or peer recognition is enough most of the time.

• Negotiation is a practical skill for every leader. Negotiation is often misunderstood to be the domain of clever deal makers. It’s actually really simple. Make very clear requests for a promise. Understand exactly what the promise is – what is being done, when, and what the standard of excellence is, and then check up on the status to make it happen.

• Leadership for Others rather than focus on personal achievement and ambition. We need leaders who use power as a tool for inspiring others to create a better future for all not the select few , not as a tool for retaining their position or perks.

• Assertiveness–Firm and decisive decisions that take courage and spine to make.  

These are the process and  leadership skills essential for 21 Century Leadership, inspiring excellence, and meeting followers needs. They are easily practiced, and serve as the foundation for successfully attracting funding, talent, making tough decisions and persevering in reach the vision that inspired us all in the beginning.

In this fashion the transformational leadership deficit is really an “opportunity” for selfless people to get involved and put us back on the path of freedom, caring and economic security.  So practice the leadership skills needed, and step in when you are ready. Now is your golden opportunity – let’s see how many of you are up to the challenge. We need you all.