Critical Conversation Tool: Socratic Questioning

Socrates once said, “I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.” Have you ever experienced the Socratic way of teaching–asking participatative questions to challenge learners to think and discover the answers? This method gets people more involved in learning through critical thinking and makes the learning more relevant to their lives. Socratic questioning illuminates the importance of questioning in learning.  Socrates stated that questioning was the only defensible form of teaching. It illuminates the difference between systematic and fragmented thinking. It teaches us to dig beneath the surface of our ideas and not just memorize stuff for regurgitation on an exam. It teaches us the value of developing questioning minds to cultivate deep learning. The art of Socratic questioning is intimately connected with learning because the art of questioning is important to the excellence of thought. What the word “Socratic” adds to the art of questioning is depth and interest in assessing the truth or  information about others and the situations they are confronting. Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant, or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them as uninformed or incompetent. They like being perceived as the expert. In fact, asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions from many different people and are well aware that they do not have all the answers. Some people are in such a hurry to get things done that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong into the wrong actions.

Reality Check #1: Do Doctors Listen to Patients?

“The average doctor listens for 18 seconds before interrupting the patient.”

How disrespectful and arrongant is this kind of behavior? What are the implications for doctor-patient interactions? How can we help doctors improve their communication skills?

Improving Connections: Reduce Self-Centerness

The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we are not aware of and do not understand.” George Herbert Mead

 The other day I was talking to an elderly, accomplished, and well-educated man, who is a legend in his own mind.  He came unglued about the “socialist” country Obama was creating with all the bailouts.  His anger was irrational and visceral.   Of course, he was carrying Rush Limbaugh’s water and talking points.  This is a guy who rarely questions his beliefs.  I have noticed time and time again his inability to give credit to other people’s ideas and his focus on the peripheral.  Now some people might call this narcissism or self-centered. I call it irrational thinking and unconscious incompetence (you don’t know what you don’t know). 

 

 What does research in psychology tell us about self-defeating and irrational thinking of this kind?

Creating Unique Connects — Try Active Listening to Start Understanding Others

 ”We think much faster than we talk…the average rate of speech is 125 words per minute and the ability to absorb and think is 4-5 times faster…so the critical question is what do we do with our spare time when someone is talking to us?” Ralph Nichols, Professor at University Minnesota, 1957 

Since, the article by Ralph Nichols in the HBR in 1957, have we improved the literacy of people  to become more effective listeners? The answer is a little bit but the journey goes on for each new generation and individual to take the time to become better listeners.  What is the benefit for being a better listener?  As Dr. Nichols once said, The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” In addition, How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have it improves your communication effectiveness, improves interpersonal relations and gives you the ability to negotiate through conflict situations.

Purpose Centered Performance Leadership: Exercise #4 Feedback and Personal Growth

“The genuine leader knows it is impossible to grow and develop, without being open to feedback   and committed to honest self-reflection.” Robert Bolten, People Skills  

Many leadership experts talk about the need for leaders to be able to coach others. At the heart of coaching is the ability to provide feedback.  And yet the overwhelming view is that many leaders do not have the skills to provide appropriate feedback. It does no good to hang mission and vision statements in the elevator or lunch room and behave differently in interacting and providing feedback.  Leaders must be congruent in what they say and do to build trust.  Feedback is the heart and head of an individuals ability to see their blind spots and learn to grow in positive ways.  So the question for a would be leader: How do you provide approriate and meaning ful feedback?

True Friendship-Authentic Caring Factor

“One of the most delightful–and volatile–aspects of friendship is the voluntary nature of it all. Whether it’s a cup of coffee, a lavish gift, or an offer to stay by your sickbed, favors from friends are intentional acts of generosity…Our friends turn toward our bids for connection simply because they want to, and that’s what makes those relationships so rewarding.”  John Gottman, The Relationship Cure 

 What is true friendship? Can we really feel better by helping rather than receiving? Is it too late for you to change your approach to friendship. These are powerful questions and as usual I like to start by challenging our thinking even if it is a Monday morning.  

Small Things Big Impact: SMILE

“People with high levels of personal mastery cannot afford to choose between reason and intuition, or head and heart, any more than they would choose to walk on one leg or see with one eye.”  Peter Senge, MIT Sloan School of Management

I was reviewing Tom Peters, The Heart of Business Strategies :  56 * Things that Matter and was struck by a few that I think can guide your daily checklist for success. I am capturing them  under the word SMILE. If you like it put it on a post it note over your computer to keep you grounded and motivated.

Thriving on Teamwork

Individual commitment to a group effort–that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work”  Vince Lombardi

I think leadership is all about building great teams. That, in the end, is all personal — how do you think team involvement changed who you are today? I think  it humbled me. When you finally discover that your success is dependent on help from and cooperation with others, that almost every decision you make can’t go anywhere with  out followers and suppoerters. You feel a sense of pride, trust, and responsibility when your team is aligned and focused on the shared vision or dream you all want to reach. In the Five Dysfunctions of a Team, by Patrick Lencioni, presents the case for building effective and cohesive teams. He observes the obivious that building  a team  is hard work but also simple. Sound confusing it is. The author’s argument is focused on critical factors for ensuring success such as, courage and persistence. Of course individuals need to bring motivation and factors such as courage and persistence to the team. Yet to build an effective team producing desired results needs much more than just courage and persistence. One of critical factors for building an effective team is to pay attention to the selection of  individuals who make-up the team. Then we need to assess how the individuals will fit to together and assess their readiness to work together in a collobrative and synergistic way.

Here are a few questions for you to ask as you undertake the development of an effective and productive team.

1. Does your team have the right members who bring unique strengths and and talents for achieving the vision, solving the problems and finding opportunities to be tackled?

2. Is your group really a team or just a collection of independent people meeting together to share information but have no shared goal or purpose?

3. How does your team handle disagreements and conflicts –focusing on different points of view and styles or ignoring and burying differences ? 

4. Are team members clear on the expectations and task at hand?

5. What are you doing to measure the team’s readiness for team problem solving, interpersonal conflicts and reporting results of their work? What training do they need to work together and succeed in their mission?

Reflection # 10 : In Tough Times We all Need Someone

Obama’s “Yes We Can” Leadership– Defines Empathy through his Selection for the bench.

“When a good man is hurt all who would be called good must suffer with him.” - Euripides

Ashby Jones, of the WSJ Law Blog  and others such as Lawrence Hurley of the Los Angeles Daily Journal. Even the  Slate and the Washington Post, and the ED show on MSNBC are weighing in on what Asby calls the “Emotion of the Day”–Empathy. In this blog I will try and shine some light on this subject. Since, I am a Social Scientist, I will take a different approach then these other writers and talking heads.   

Unique Connections #2: The Power of the 15 Second First Impression Rule.

 “If (a man) is brusque in his manner, others will not cooperate.  If he is agitated in his words, they will awaken no echo in others.  If he asks for something without having first established a (proper) relationship, it will not be given him.” Robert Bolton

The immediacy of first impressions and how they effective the decision to go forward in a conversation or a relationship has been called many things in the fields of Communication, Social Psychology and Psychology–power of first impressions, bias of confirmation, primacy effect, thin slicing etc. As a father, I tried to teach my boys the “power of first” impressions. My simple message was to look the person in the eye and give them a firm handshake. Now there is more research that confirms that it takes only a matter of seconds for a person to decide if they want to go forward with a relationship.

Secrets of Coaching: Power of T.R.U.S.T.

T.R.U.S.T.

                       

Five- Step Master Coaching and Change Model

 

Step 1.  TELL the Truth to yourself and others – Be clear on change wanted and goals. Tell truth to yourself and others… no lies, be authentic, open and do the right thing in interaction. (Stop)

 

Unique Connections Part 1: Renewing Mental Maps through Questions.

“Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.”

M. Scott Peck Author 

Remember the Socratic way of teaching–asking questions help learners discover the answers. This method gets people more involved in learning through critical thinkimg and makes the learning more relevant to their life.  

Socratic questioning illuminates the importance of questioning in learning Socrates stated that questioning was the only defensible form of teaching. It illuminates the difference between systematic and fragmented thinking. It teaches us to dig beneath the surface of our ideas. It teaches us the value of developing questioning minds in cultivating deep learning. The art of Socratic questioning is intimately connected with because the art of questioning is important to excellence of thought. What the word “Socratic” adds to the art of questioning is depth  and interest in assessing the truth or more information about others and the situations they are confronting.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them as uninformed or incompetent. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

 

 Finally some people are in such a hurry to get things done that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong into the wrong actions.

As politicians, peers, friends, or family members, colleagues or managers we can check assumptions, gain more information and better understanding of the problem or opportunity by first asking questions. Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people a chance to give broad answers and they open up the discussion . Examples of open questions are:

• What obstacles keep the government from bailing out home owners?

• Why do you think this has economy crisis has happened?

• What are all the factors that might have caused this problem?

• How can we reduce a further melt down of the economy?

• Where does a private banks responsibility end and government authority through regulation begin?

• Tell me more about your personal experiences in securing a business loan?

Our questions should not be scripted because as we actively listen and tune-in to resonses we can spontaneously formulate more in deepth or probing questions. Be patient in your responses and never interupt the speaker. The desire to state our ideas, insights, points of view and wisdom is hard to resist. The method of asking questions to deepen our understanding and provides more clarity of the issues before identifying root problems and making critical decisions. 

Asking many questions is very effective but it builds trust and shows your interest in the problem and the person’s point of view. It is important that we bring closure to one topic of interest before moving on to more questions because the interaction maybe be perceived as an interrogation and threatening rather than as a friendly way to connect. Try to pose each question in an calm way and ensure that your non-verbal language is relaxed and engaging. Do not jab your index finger like the “critical parent” but try to speak with own and wecoming hands jesters.

Try to practice asking more opened questions in conversations. Instead of telling someone what you think or immdeiately provide advise or try to solve their problemn– ask them a question and you will be perceived as caring, open, and engaging person. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn.

If you are open to new thinking and renewal the lessons life offers will enhance your ability to develop and grow your mental maps. … if not you may be sleep walking through life. 

If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way of learning why do we stop asking questions? For some people the reason is that they think that they have learned all there is to know on a subject? Others like to hear themselves talk and control conversations. Some people become bored, lazy or worn down by fighting the same battles for change year in and year out.  They want to maintain their comfort level by holding onto old and tried and true “mental maps”, assumptions and solution or ideas which they believe are correct and unchanging. For example cutting taxes leads to a strong economy. They try old solutions that might or might not fit the new circumstances.This approach leads them to be stuck in the past. And many times they end up failing by trying to maintain the status quo.  

Improving People Skills:Johari Window

“The wonder is not that communicating is as difficult as it is, but that it occurs as much as it does.” Reuel Howe, Educator

Awareness lies at the heart of all self-understanding and performance improvement. To improve my current level of performance I must know more about my self and make changes in my thinking and behavior. I must become aware of my present level of functioning before I can make changes. I need to understand how things are now and how I’d like them to be.