Part 2: How to get a handle on our Negativity Bias?

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

The process of change begins with a moral grounding and solid reflection on who we are and what we are trying to do in making a difference in life. The ability to look in the mirror and see what we want to see must change to seeing the things in the mirror that are less obvious, like an undesired wrinkle or skin blemish.

It is this craving for meaning that I hear so loud and clear in many people . Despite all your doubts and fears be true to yourself. The searching you are doing is painful but necessary. It is a step on your path of self-discovery and a sign of growth.  It is also a great investment of positive energy. The seeker must learn to accept and live a life of authenticity. Remember–Victor Frankl’s words– “The only lost cause is the one we give up on before we enter the struggle.”

Reflection: When will the time come when we do more than just speak these words but actually implement them in action? Maybe we all need to just start with ourselves. I mean in all situations try to think first about others, be kind , respectful, tolerant, non-judgmental  and accepting of differences. These small interpersonal changes might get the ball rolling to “ the civil state” most of us want and need to live healthy and productive lives.

Daily Quote and Reflection-Journaling on My Birthday.

Daily quote and Reflection

Quote: What is the most amazing thing?
That we live as if we are going to live forever.- Hindu Proverb.

Daily Journaling and Reflection—Untapped source of energy. There is real power in the simple act of journaling. Stopping, Observing, Reflecting and Doing (writing).  It creates a positive cycle of mindfulness and relaxation, which leads to more noticing of your own happiness, obstacles and progress toward fulfillment. The more we practice journaling, the stronger the habit becomes. This is my  journal entry today on my birthday—

Power question–Which is more certain, today my birthday or tomorrow my death?

Birthday Poem: Life or death- by MW Hardwick

If today my birthday is special, how should I live this day?

The answer, for me, is to celebrate my birthday

Live in the here and now and

Enjoy every breath

Then take this day — my starting point 68 years ago

And live today and everyday as my last.
Be in good cheer, see the bright side of all challenges

Accept my friends and loved ones today.
Live with a clear purpose of having fun today. My special day.
Put aside all the expectations

And just experience what comes today.

Ignore my duties for today.
Cultivate myself today. Be care free.
Live mindfully today.
Be at peace today.
Be happy today.

Be patient.

And accept what comes.

If I live this way today, I live in fulfillment and peace of mind.
If I die today, I die fulfilled with gratitude in my heart.

And in peace. And in peace…peace…

Part 1: How Negative Perceptions and Bias triggered Zimmerman to shoot?

The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.”  Marcel Proust

One youth dead, neighborhood watch citizen goes free. Everyone wants to know how and why did this shooting happen? One reason maybe that Zimmerman’s past experiences and his negative perceptions of black youths as thugs and therefore automatically dangerous to him and his gated community neighbors. He never learned how to balance his negative filters that colored his  experiences with black youth. What if he saw black youths in a more bright, optimistic and flexible light.  Instead he focused on the dark, pessimistic and inflexible thinking that constantly reminded  him that black youths are people who were always causing trouble and needed to be feared. 

Almost every creature comes into world more wired for negativity than positivity or optimism. Why? Fight or flight response. Say you’re wandering through the woods and you fail to notice the pretty wildflowers under your feet. Inconvenient perhaps, but not catastrophic. Now imagine that the thing under your feet is a rattlesnake. Fail to notice this, and its good night, Mark. Which is why we give the bad things in our lives so much more attention than the good ones—a phenomenon known as a negativity bias. The more you defy your innate negativity bias, building from your strengths, finding relief by looking at things from a more positive frame, and embracing delight wherever you can, the more you become stronger in controlling your own way in life. The impact of optimism  of one person living in acceptance of good things happening in life are immense. Become that person, and you’ll find that in spite of everything, when their is positivity in your life you will experience more happiness and positive interpersonal relationships.  It won’t necessarily change the reality of the situation, but the positiviness has a strong ripple effect on anyone coming in touch with you.

Most research on perception and thinking show how your memory of the past helps you determine what to pay attention to in the present but does not lock you into forever thinking that way. Checkout the 10 irrational thoughts that cause people trouble by Dr Albert Ellis. Recognizing faces or race is a simple way to distinguish friends from strangers without a thorough background check each time you encounter someone. We all use this function in perceiving our environment so we are not overwhelmed with too much information. We use this discriminating perceptual process to distinguish different types of birds or poison berries from edible ones. This is a good use of this perceptual function but we also use it as a short-cut for identification and discrimination of people and this can be a bad way to us this function depending on the situation an ensuing action.

We unconsciously make unfortunate  emotional investment in things that have happened to us in the past creating a closed, inflexible mindset that all “black youths wearing baggy pants and a hoody” spell trouble. According to Malcolm Gladwell, in his popular book Blink, many of our life decisions and especially social interactions are based on little information that are generalized to specific situations almost in an automatic way.

Almost every creature comes into world more wired for negativity than positivity or optimism. Why? Fight or flight response. Say you’re wandering through the woods and you fail to notice the pretty wildflowers under your feet. Inconvenient perhaps, but not catastrophic. Now imagine that the thing under your feet is a rattlesnake. Fail to notice this, and its good night, Mark. Which is why we give the bad things in our lives so much more attention than the good ones—a phenomenon known as a negativity bias.

The more you defy your innate negativity bias, building from your strengths, finding relief, and embracing delight wherever you can, the more you become stronger in controlling your own way in life. The impact of optimism  of one person living in acceptance of good things happening in life are immense. Become that person, and you’ll find that in spite of everything, when their is positivity in your life you will experience more happiness and positive interpersonal relationships.  It won’t necessarily change the reality of the situation, but the positiviness has a strong ripple effect on anyone coming in touch with you.

My hypothesis is that Zimmerman, the shooter, may have used irrational beliefs based on past experiences in his encounter with Travon. When he saw Travon, on that raining night, he inaccurately identify someone as a “no good black youth up to no good” the hoody reinforced his suspicion and led to a self-fulfilling prophecy that this person was dangerous and something bad was going to happen any moment. With this expectation in mind he called 911 and began to actively pursue this dangerous person, even though he was told not to follow or pursue and wait for the police to arrive. He  expected to see danger or a possible attack, just as you do when you look at every plant expecting to see poison ivy or poison mushrooms. Past experience can set your filters up to see in either a positive, optimistic or negative, pessimistic light. Automatic filters are necessary, otherwise, your life would be bogged down in the need to resolve every minute doubt, prepare for every possible situation. But Zimmerman’s maladaptive thinking may have led him to belief that Travon, a young black man, signaled trouble and possible danger to him and his neighbors. These triggers led him to make a snap judgment based on past experiences. For example, when you listen to the 911 audiotapes of  Zimmerman with police authorities you hear his negative triggers and fears at work, he said something like these type of punks usually get away with breaking-in or doing harm and it wasn’t going to happen again on his watch. If in the past he had a positive past experiences with black youths his automatic “fight response” may not have been triggered and his snap judgment and action based on fear might have been stopped. Thus, averting the terrible shooting that left one person dead and the shooters life in shambles. If he had reacted in a more positive automatic filter or perception he might have seen the situation in a different light that would have made Travon’s and his life happier and help him to see the best in a person wearing a hoody and walking down the sidewalk in his gated community in a more neutral way as an ordinary citizen to be respect and treated with dignity.

So how do you in the moment of decision stop or block the negative triggers in your mind from putting you and other people in harm’s way and advert a dangerous encounter. By challenging your negative triggers and past experience which lead to negative stereotypes, poor decision-making and inappropriate actions. It is a thinking process I call the STOP. CHALLENGE. REFLECT. ACT. LEARN. REPEAT. learning cycle that gives you time to overcome your impulses and automatic behavior. I will cover how to STOP negative bias and impulsive actions more on my next post. Thanks and I hope this post provides some ideas on why this tragedy took place in Florida. We can all do better. Just STOP and Challenge our irrational thinking before acting.

New Poem–One Shining Moment

 

 

One Shining Moment by MW Hardwick  

 

Weaves in and out from defenders

Reaches out and grabs the bounce pass

He dribbles around the screen and glances at the basket

On the hard courts

rich in texture and color

He jump stops

And gazes at the rim,

He fakes and then shoots,

Up in the air

Raising his cocked arm

Above his head

Snaps the wrist

And follows through like fish-hook

And years of deliberate practice

Tells him it is always good

This day and this moment

Is all there is

All pieced together

This one final moment…

The shooting hand

And eyes fix on the rim

As fan noise reaches a climax

Hear the swoosh…swoosh…

Of the net

Now enjoy and love,

One Shining Moment…Moment of truth…

Oh, my God…

Daily Quote and Story: Winning Isn’t Everything

In the run up to March Madness and other activities in your hectic life don’t miss this story from NPR by Frank Deford–When there is more to Winning than Winning 

Quote: ” It was senior night, and the loudest cheers went to Cory Weissman, No. 3, 5 feet 11 inches, a team captain — especially when he walked out onto the court as one of Gettysburg’s starting five. Yes, he was a captain, but it was, you see, the first start of his college career. Cory had played a few minutes on the varsity as a freshman, never even scoring. But then, after that season, although he was only 18 years old, he suffered a major stroke. He was unable to walk for two weeks. His whole left side was paralyzed. He lost his memory, had seizures.

But by strenuously devoting himself to his rehabilitation, Cory slowly began to improve. He was able to return to college, and by this year, he could walk without a limp and even participated in the pregame lay-up drills…” Read more at When Winning is more than Winning

Reflection:  Away from the  ”Big stage” of Division I Basketball the true worth of sports shines through when you hear a story like this. I would like to hear and see more stories like this rather than the latest drug use, or money issues in the NCAA. It is very inspiring to see how kind and respectful we can be when we stop to do the “right thing” 

Quote and Reflection: “Don’t believe everything you think.”

Quote:   ”Don’t believe everything you think…  The more you can surround your negative thinking with compassion, the easier it will be to dissolve it and move on.” Meg Selig

Reflection:  Recently, I was doing research on the positive and negative effects of self-talk.  Of course, I reviewed Albert Ellis’s theory of ABC and Tim Gallwey’s  Inner Game concepts and framework.  Again I found the review stimulating but still remained confused on how to apply these techniques to everyday situations. To be spontaneous and authentic you can’t go around in life and stop to ponder how to react so as not to offend someone.  Then while reviewing Psychology Today blog I discovered Meg Selig.

(See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201202/manage-emotional-pains-rains)

In essence,  she provides a framework called R.A.I.N.–Basically,  the RAIN technique states that when you are in a situation where negative thinking habits are making you suffer and overwhelm your ability to think clearly consider this tool way to soften and re-channel  harmful thoughts and negative patterns.  Buddhist teachers and therapists such as Tara Brach often teach the RAIN technique to bring mindful awareness to emotional distress and provide a relaxing approach for controlling emotional pain. Supposedly, The RAIN technique can help you be your own best friend instead of your own worst critic. Here are the basic steps you can take to RAIN on your parade of negative thoughts, soothe yourself, and move on.

Activity Challenge : This week develop a routine for relaxing and keeping your negative thoughts from making it a good week.  

Daily Quote and Reflection: Realizing your Dreams become a Life-Long Learner.

Quote: The world is but a canvas to our imaginations–Thoreau

Reflection: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DREAMING ABOUT AND IMAGINING? Nothing happens until you act on these dreams. So what is holding you back? You must believe you have the power to act on your dreams. To make dreams of your imagination come true you must want them and see them. When it comes to translating dreams into reality you must be motivated to learn new skills. A crucial step in learning is that people learn what they want to learn. One study by Specht and Sandlin on the “Differential effects of Experiential Learning Activities and Lecture Classes in Accounting,” for an MBA required course showed that students retained their new knowledge for about six weeks or until they were tested on the material. The end of dreaming is to end fear of failure and act on your reality by learning skills necessary to be competent in your field of knowledge. 

Action Activity: What dreams are unfilled in your life? What can you do today to move from imagination about the future to action? Stop stopping yourself and begin living your dreams become a motivated and life-long learner.

Seven Ways to Improve Mental Toughness

So what is mental toughness? It can be defined as the ability to access and maintain focus and determination to complete a course of action despite complexity, distractions, difficulties or unknown consequences. Some say it is the will to never give-up or quit. So the question is: Can “mental toughness” (MT) be taught or is innate? Let’s look at the sports world where MT is often used to describe super stars. Many athletes and coaches think, MT is an innate quality or talent that you are born with and they believe it can’t be taught or learned because it is a part of your DNA or it isn’t. According to this school of thought mental toughness is usually something you’re born with and is reinforced early in life by your parents and environment. These authorities believe it’s hard to take a sensitive “mommies boy” and make him “tough” no matter what you do. This obviously is the nature vs. nuture argument. The nurture position states that people can be shaped and learn from different experiences, modeling and teaching. ” Mental Toughness is a state of mind, not a fact. No matter how much or how little stress we feel before any public performance from speeches to shooting to hitting the winning foul shot we are always just doing what we’re doing, simply living this one moment of our lives to the best of our ability. So MT is the ability to use anxiety and fear to drive positive expectations, energy and action. ”  Dr. Mark W. Hardwick, Communications Coach  . Winning seems so easy and natural for the Nadal’s and Feder’s of the tennis world. And in other sports too. But the real secret seems to be mental preparedness and toughness.  The perception that winning is easy we know is false but it does look like their work is play. Many of us chalk it up to the person’s is naturally talent and short change mental rehearsal and practice. Applications for staying focused and being mentally tough in difficult performance situations or under stress: Practicing Mental Toughness techniques prior to your performance will help handling more stress during the performance. Below see some tools of how to create a mental set and rituals of   Mental Toughness state:

1. Be your own best supporter and critic. Shutout distractions and negative self-talk

2. Be clear, concise and committed to meeting your goal or target for the activity.

3. Believe fully in your ability and strength to execute effectively, so you can  naturally perform the task at hand.

4. Be prepared to relax and refocus on your goal when things go wrong during an interaction or performance. Learn to center yourself through deep breathing and use of relaxation tools.

5. Don’t try to hard to be accepted or worry about the outcome of your communication.

6. Learn to control your anxiety and nervousness by using a mental re-focus tool–When your self-critic pops up just say–STOP. The inner voice helps us to re-focus and exert self-control by enhancing our ability to restrain our negative impulses.  When we are in stressful situations like giving a speech we worry about the situation and it’s consequences. These worries are usually verbal in nature and are especially problematic for tasks that rely heavily on speaking and in the moment thinking and reasoning skills. So to be quick on your feet find a way to knock the fears away so that you can be mentally tough and perform at your best.

7. Be optimistic. Love the challenge of the moment and learn to accept whatever comes by focusing on process rather than techniques or fear of making mistakes. By learning to “look on the bright side,” of challenges and seeing stressful situations as opportunities for growth, you increase the likelihood of producing a positive mental and physical state.  This positive mental state leads to a chain of biochemical events that mobilize the brain and the body to cope more effectively with the situation.  A positive reaction to stress can then lead to what some have labeled  the challenge response, which counteracts the fear of failure and need to be perfect.

Part 2: Make your next Presentation Remarkable –Say it with passion, emotion and spontaneity. .

Eloquence …may be defined as the speech of one who knows what he is talking about, and means what he says–it is thought on fire…knowledge is of little  use to the speaker without earnestness. Persuasive speech is from the heart to heart,not from the mind to the mind.” William Jennings Bryan

In the past, the traditional method for communicating has been the boring lecture method.  This approach leads to passive audience members who supposedly are listening as the speaker or presenter drones on rationally with their argument, message and facts. . This method of presenting used the flaw tool of ” tell and sell” . Audience members sit in ” rows” and try to stay attentive and awake. In Part 1 of Remarkable Presentations I talked about how to make unique connections with the audience.  Today in Part 2 I would like to focus on how to say things so they resonate with audience members.

So what is the secret for becoming an engaging and remarkable speaker? The new method I have been refining for twenty plus years is called  Interactive Based Presenting (IBP)  Ask the audience to be engaged and discover what learning points and ideas are important and relevant to their interest.  This may be no different today from the classrooms of the 1960s. Some schools are producing students who can take and A’s on standardized tests  and regurgitate enough information to pass SAT’s or LSAT or other exams . Many students, though, walk across the graduation stage with little experience in problem solving or critical thinking and minimal practice in collaboration with others, and no idea how to capture the attention, desire and interest of an audience. So what do they need to do to be more well round and remarkable communicators? As Steve Jobs said, “you can’t talk about profit, you have to talk about emotional experiences…not just cool product but an object of desire.”

Reviewing the 4 core Elements for Living a Meaningful Constructive Life.

 

Key elements of the Meaningful Constructive Living Process

1. Learning about Yourself – Self-Awareness

2. Think clearer and act better –Inner Reflection and Thinking (Self 1, 2 & 3)

3. Learning and Influencing others—Outer- directed learning

4. Learning to live a more Reflective Life through Recover and Renewing your dreams.

 

This weekend take the Positivity Quiz and Learn how to Overcome Negativity Bias

“The secret 2 Meaningful Constructive Living is 2 apply the 3 to1 rule of Positivity to your interpersonal relationships.” MWH

Almost every creature comes into world more wired for negativity than positivity or optimism. Why? Fight or flight response. Say you’re wandering through the woods and you fail to notice the pretty wildflowers under your feet. Inconvenient perhaps, but not catastrophic. Now imagine that the thing under your feet is a rattlesnake. Fail to notice this, and its good night, Mark. Which is why we give the bad things in our lives so much more attention than the good ones—a phenomenon known as a negativity bias. The more you defy your innate negativity bias, building from your strengths, finding relief, and embracing delight wherever you can, the more you become stronger in controlling your own way in life. The impact of optimism  of one person living in acceptance of good things happening in life are immense. Become that person, and you’ll find that in spite of everything, when their is positivity in your life you will experience more happiness and positive interpersonal relationships.  It won’t necessarily change the reality of the situation, but the positiviness has a strong ripple effect on anyone coming in touch with you.

Negativity bias is the name for a psychological phenomenon by which humans pay more attention to and give more weight to negative rather than positive experiences or other kinds of information.  The other side of the coin ” Positivity” can help your quality of life if you find a way to increase the ratio of positive thoughts and actions to negative ones by a 3 to 1 ratio. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, professor of psychology, and investigator of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in her latest research and book called Positivity reveals how positive emotions, fleeting as they are, can tip the scales toward a happier and more satisfying life. She  estimates that 80% of Americans fall short of the ideal 3-to-1 positivity ratio when interacting with others. . Want to check how positive or negative you are? ? Just take  Dr. Fredrickson’s 2-minute on-line quiz and see how you score. If you don’t have the time to take the quiz just reflect for second on this poem by Pablo Neruda: 

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.
…it opens for me all the doors of life

Enjoy your weekend and come back Monday with a more positive outlook on life.

Daily Quote and Reflections–What does it mean to be Lucky?

Daily quotes:

1.”Some of us will get “lucky” and achieve someting of real value that makes a difference in people’s lives, the key is not to follow others path but create your own” Wickism

2.” People often remark that I’m pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you’ve got to have talent and know how to use it.”  Frank Sinatra
3.  ”Luck is believing you’re lucky.”  Tennessee Williams

4. “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.” Unknown

Reflection: Certainly it is good to have role models and mentors as you travel on your journey to finding a meaningful life. The challenge is to realize that we are all unique individuals with strengths and weaknesses. I like Frank Sinatra’s quote because it combines good fortune (luck) with being able to use your talents to produce results. The only thing missing is the piece about making a difference for not just yourself but others. Also included is Tennessee William’s quote which focuses on the power of thought and self–belief. No question that BELIEF  and expectations play an important part of what we call “luck”  My question for you is to stop and reflect on how lucky you have been in life? As usual send me your thoughts to share with the community.

Add Power to your Presentation–Try creating an Aha Moment

“Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion and belief.”

You have prepared well, designed a powerful message, supported by examples and stories and of course your PPT slides.  Now it is the day of the performance. So you are looking for an extra boost so that the presentation is a success. Here is boost–If I had only one TIP  (to insure presentation success) to give, it would be to create an Aha Moment through story telling. To craft such a story takes time and needs to be relevant to the audience.  In the delivery style for communicating an Aha moment  you need to be passionate  and inspiring about your topic, let enthusiasm out and show your emotion for the subject being addressed.

Yes, you need a powerful AHA message supported by facts, stories, examples and maybe slides if they don’t become the focus of the speech. All this is called great content. And you do need a deep and authentic belief in your topic or all of this preparation is for naught. The biggest item that separates mediocre presenters from excellence is the ability to connect with an audience in an authentic, inspiring and exciting way. Don’t let you fears hold you back. Be confident. And let your passion for your topic come out for all to see. For me it’s a few slides to enhance visually one of your core ideas and a warm and passionate speaker over a cold and dull speaker with slick slides wins every time. So what do you use to get that little edge you need to overcome your fear of failure? Share with us your AHA  presentation success or failure, so we can learn from each other. Checkout this AHA moment between a coach and an Olympic swimmer–Visualize yourself as a winner and overcome nervousness–View “The same race as always.”http://t.co/gCd5osw via @myahamoment

Want more effective Mental Maps? Try using this learning process technique…

“Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most in order to create a comfort zone   assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own believes and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs. So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdate  beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open minded and flexible leads to absolute dogma and in many situations looking or sounding foolish.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

With prospect, with clients, at school, at home, in business, with our friends, family, colleagues or managers we can check assumptions and gain a better appreciation of the issues by first asking questions. Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

As we listen carefully to the answers we formulate further questions. When someone gives an answer we can often ask, “Why?” The temptation is to plunge in with our opinions, responses, conclusions or proposals. The better approach is keep asking questions to deepen our comprehension of the issues before making up our mind. Once we have mapped out the main points we can use closed questions to get specific information. Closed questions give the respondent a limited choice of responses – often just yes or no. Examples of closed questions are:

• When did this happen?
• Was he angry?
• Where is the shipment right now?
• Did you authorise the payment?
• Would you like to go to the cinema with me on Saturday evening?

By giving the other person a limited choice of responses we get specific information and deliberately move the conversation forward in a particular direction.

Asking many questions is very effective but it can make you appear to be inquisitorial and intrusive. So it is important to ask questions in a friendly and unthreatening way. Do not ask accusing questions. “What do you think happened?” will probably get a better response than, “Are you responsible for this disaster?” Try to pose each question in an innocent way and ensure that your body language is relaxed and amicable. Do not jab your finger or lean forward as you as put your requests.

Try to practice asking more questions in your everyday conversations. Instead of telling someone something, ask them a question. Challenging questions stimulate, provoke, inform and inspire engagement and learning. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn.

Smart-Steps for more positive mindset and action

1. To strengthen our own “stress hardiness” and lessen the likelihood of anxiety and burnout: Practice answering the following questions  :

√ Passion and Commitment: What brings purpose to your life?

√ Challenge: Try reframing  difficult situations as  opportunities for learning.

√ Self-Control : To focus your time and energy on areas of your life over which you have  some influence and control.

√ Change intensity of response: Focus on things that happen to you that are unpleasant as inconvenient rather than awful.

Turn Your Dream into an Entrepreneurial Success through Optimism — The “Life is Good Story”

“Perseverance and Optimism can take you anywhere… If you don’t succeed at first–try,try and try again and ”know who you are, and live it”.  Bert Jones

Original Jake drawing, July 1994 SEE: Life is Good Story

How it started–The Struggle

After six years of struggling the brothers went to a street fair, they printed up 48 Jake shirts for a local street fair in Cambridge, Massachusetts. They laid the shirts out on their rickety card table. By noontime, all 48 of those tees were gone. A star was born. Soon Jake was introduced to local retailers, and his simple message of optimism was embraced like nothing the brothers had ever seen. As demand for product soared, Jake’s team grew, and the Little Brand That Could began to spread across America.

“Know Who You Are and Live It”

The success mantra often repeated by Burt is “know who you are, and live it”. Now Bert’s no social media guru, nor is he making money from his insight (I believe he donates a lot of his speaking fees to charity – Of course hind site is 20-20. And this quiet, down to earth, and ordinary is simply trying to figure why their idea was a success. May be it is just luck and if you think or don’t know if you have a great idea or not  on other people will let you know if it is a flash or bust. His insight has helped him translate a feeling, an emotion, and a mission from his heart to employees and loving customers. Today, the New England based Life is Good brand stays close to its roots, with an emphasis on optimism, simplicity, and fun. Through Life is Good events, positive work environment  and creative products Life is Good team keeps the fun at work flowing.

His insight has helped him translate a feeling, an emotion, and a mission from his heart to employees and loving customers. For what ever reason luck, timing and great visually designed products the company has been a phenomenal success story. In 15 years , Life is Good has gone from nothing but a dream to a  $ 100 million dollar topline business. success.

In fact, there seems to be nothing Bert and John can’t do with Life is Good business — except articulate why they were successful. While they unquestionably put in the hard work went through the up’s and downs of an entrepreneurial venture , they’re quick to tell you that they were initially lucky and naive about what it would take to be a retail success.  Bert tells an engaging story about their boot-strapping beginning and how lucky they were to make it happen. The “it” is  still a mystery to the founders. Maybe we can hope that someday the details can be captured for the rest of us trying to get our dreams off the ground. The only think I have gleamed from their story is to pay attention to what you have and be responsive to what customers want and give it to them. Next  show patience, listen to others ideas, learn from your mistakes and keep taking risks as long as you can. In the final analysis their secret was to have faith and belief in themselves and be optimistic about their venture and how they lived their lives.

“Optimism focuses on what’s right with the world, rather than on what’s wrong,” says Bert. “It’s tremendously empowering.” While not an action in and of itself, it invites listening, collaboration and outreach. “It allows you to meet new people, learn new things,” he adds. “It’s the belief in the possibility of something —  because then there’s a chance of getting there.”

So what is stopping you from getting your dream job or starting your dream business?