Checkout The Daily Coach–Reflections on Quotes

 

Life is lived and filtered by experiences, thinking, reflection, emotions and action. In an attempt to keep focused on your self-understanding and development I am going to begin to posting daily self-reflection quotes on the www.thedailycoach@wordpress.com that will help guide your personal development and coaching through self-reflection. See the first entry below and have fun learning more about your thinking and emotions.

Quote of the Day: Memory grips the past, hope secures the future. You don’t take the trip, the trip takes you. John Steinbeck, author

REFLECTION: What this quote means to me is how we are not in control of everything that happens to us in life. And that we need to be flexible and able to react to bith good things and terrible things that come our way in life. So it is not that stuff won’t happen to us but how we react to these things that is important.

Finding meaning in worklife: Focus on Fundamentals and find your Passion

“There’s something I know about you that you may or may not know about yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, more to give than you have ever given”.  - John Gardner, Author Self-Renewal  

When I was coach of a middle school basketball team, one of our fundamental team principles was to focus on the basics of basketball: learn to dribble with your head up, shoot with both hands, move your feet on defense, talk to each other, and practice these techniques outside of practice. To my surprise one day after practice a player approached me and said: coach, if I am to practice at home, can you show me how to shoot? I certainly was taken back a step or two  but I immediately went into action.   I reflected on his request and realized where I had gone amiss was to assume everyone could shoot. What an oversight and bad assumption. The next practice I remedied the error by reviewing the fundamentals of shooting and demonstrated first hand the basic techniques to good  shooting.

What does basketball fundamentals have to do with self-renewal?

Apply Constructive Living Principles for a Meaningful Personal Change–Principle 1 and Exercise for Change

“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol

By using Constructive Optimism Living Process to face your problems and identify opportunities you can directly affect ways to act and create meaning in your life. By putting in place this powerful process you will put choice at the center of your life. You will become more responsible for creating your attitude  and behavioral response to life’s situations. It will no longer be acceptable to use the excuse that it is the stress around us or the situations we are in at home or work that “force” you to act or not act in certain ways. Each of us chooses our path. We behave in certain ways like ignoring, running away, blaming others, getting angry, if – only thinking , getting stuck, or just plain giving up because we don’t want to take responsibility. We do have the power act in more satisfying and meaningful ways to create a more integrative and balanced life. This Constructive Living Approach can help you feel more in control and better about yourself . In essence you begin to feel more loving and worthwhile which is one of the core ingredients of living a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Poem Embracing Life: Meaning through Idiosyncratic Experiences

” Life is not constructed like a building–it is like an ocean. We don’t create it we immerse ourself in it to discover and experience it.” Dr.Mark

Every thought you have,

Every feeling you feel,

Every action you take is an experience—

Some experience are short-lived–powerful and long-lasting.

Others are long and never impactful,

Experiences are not good or bad–they just are.

Impact remains to be defined by us.

Others are part of everyday routines or special activities.

The key ones focus on survival, safety, suffering and fun.

Some are long and routine,

Some boring and depressing,

Some are painful and unforgiving.

And some are uplifting and fun.

Sometime experiences seem interconnected and other times random.

Maybe that is what meaning in life is –just a bundle of moment to moment experiences.

Filtered by thought, reflection, emotions and impulsivity.

Meaning provided by our own idiosyncratic perceptions–accept them and life is renewed every second.

Challenge and fight them –you join “the figure it” out crowd.

Search, searching and searching for unreachable answers–

You cross the threshold when acceptance and ambiguity drives your search.

Life can not be choreographed as a dance… and yet embracing faith, luck or chance may ease the pain and be your guide for living a changeable and fresh experience…

The Puzzle of Motivation–Carrot/Stick vs. Intrinsic Meaning

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/618

If you have not discovered the TED talks you are missing one of the best forums for ideas in business and life now available. I am including this video from Daniel Pink’s speech at TED  because in thirty years of consulting, it is the best  explanation of what works in motivating others. I am always asked by seminar participants–How do you motivate others? My answer has always been less than adequate. You can’t motivate individuals for the long-term. As a manager you can only create the right positive conditions and climate so people can use their strengths to do their best work. Enjoy the clip and share what are the best motivators you have found that work. Motivation and excellence is in our hands as leader-managers so chose the right methods or lose great talent.

New Constructive Optimism with Meaning–The Frankl Effect

 

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“no matter how difficult the path may be, choosing to give up, before one has had the chance to fly, only holds the human spirit back…Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”  Victor Frankl

Critical Questions for Living a Life of Constructive Optimism and Meaning.

To find Meaning in Life–Try Constructive Living Principles

“In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.”
Eric Hoffer

Let’s start with, Dr. David K. Reynolds, past Director of the To Do Institute for Constructive Living, in Los Angeles.  Dr. Reynolds has written many books such as, Playing Ball on Running Water, where he explores Morita ideas on living with attention and awareness to what is controllable and what is not in living a constructive, productive and fulfilling life.  The CL  process and principles are a blending and adaption of Eastern lifeways in Japan of Shoma Morita (Morita Therapy) and Ishin Yoshimoto ( Naikin) to Western culture. The principles of Constructive living provide the opportunity to bring control and meaning to your life through a practical and realistic life of service.  The CL method is a step-by-step process for changing thinking, understanding attitudes, beliefs, feelings and behavior, that is, how a person thinks and feels about, understands, acts and relates with themselves and others.  Every day all of us have problems and opportunities to deal with and try to resolve. The CL model is a way of understanding and approaching your problems and feelings in an enlightened and organized way so you can cope and handle them with more effectiveness and efficiency. Here are the essential components of the model:

1. Be clear on your purpose.

2. Accept and understand your feelings and emotion.

3. Do what you need to do!!!!  (sounds a bit like the Nike ads)

The process of CL highlights ways to approach and handle problems and feelings in life.  CL provides the opportunity to find methods for making better decisions and choices. CL teaches you new skills and provides powerful tools to show you how to clarify your thinking and how to act when what you are doing is not satisfying or effective for you and is causing functional life issues and negatively impacting your energy, sense of meaning and relationships with others.

In CL the individual is responsible for their choices and own behavior. Excuses, projection, denial, and blaming are confronted in a caring, yet forceful way. We do this by telling and accepting the truth in the “here and now”. Remember there are things we can control in life and things that are beyond our control. Figuring out the differences is one of the challanages of CL. The environment around us, peer pressure or situations at school, work, or home are only part of the reasons we act the way we do. Yet each person creates their own unique life by how they think and choose to behave. 

If you are a committed and a determined “seeker”,  the quality of your life has nothing to do with excuses, unresolved conflicts,  or distant negative experiences. It has everything to do with  the HERE AND NOW–YOU. YOUR ESSENCE AND PASSION FOR LIVING A MEANINGFUL, CONTROLLABLE  and CONSTRUCTIVE LIFE. It has to do with your thinking, choices, behavior, and impact–The pressing question: What is controllable and uncontrollable in your life?

 Reflection Activity: Pick one action that needs doing on a regular basis: (running or walking, eating healthy foods, self-improvement through meditation, doing the monthly bills, calling three potential clients, writing a blog, walking the dog,etc.) Chose a set time of the day and do the activity at the same time each day for one week. Record the day, time, activity and your reflections in your daily journal.

Reflection quote: “Focus on living well regardless of how you are feeling at the moment.”  Dr. David K. Reynolds

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