Part 1: How Negative Perceptions and Bias triggered Zimmerman to shoot?

The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.”  Marcel Proust

One youth dead, neighborhood watch citizen goes free. Everyone wants to know how and why did this shooting happen? One reason maybe that Zimmerman’s past experiences and his negative perceptions of black youths as thugs and therefore automatically dangerous to him and his gated community neighbors. He never learned how to balance his negative filters that colored his  experiences with black youth. What if he saw black youths in a more bright, optimistic and flexible light.  Instead he focused on the dark, pessimistic and inflexible thinking that constantly reminded  him that black youths are people who were always causing trouble and needed to be feared. 

Almost every creature comes into world more wired for negativity than positivity or optimism. Why? Fight or flight response. Say you’re wandering through the woods and you fail to notice the pretty wildflowers under your feet. Inconvenient perhaps, but not catastrophic. Now imagine that the thing under your feet is a rattlesnake. Fail to notice this, and its good night, Mark. Which is why we give the bad things in our lives so much more attention than the good ones—a phenomenon known as a negativity bias. The more you defy your innate negativity bias, building from your strengths, finding relief by looking at things from a more positive frame, and embracing delight wherever you can, the more you become stronger in controlling your own way in life. The impact of optimism  of one person living in acceptance of good things happening in life are immense. Become that person, and you’ll find that in spite of everything, when their is positivity in your life you will experience more happiness and positive interpersonal relationships.  It won’t necessarily change the reality of the situation, but the positiviness has a strong ripple effect on anyone coming in touch with you.

Most research on perception and thinking show how your memory of the past helps you determine what to pay attention to in the present but does not lock you into forever thinking that way. Checkout the 10 irrational thoughts that cause people trouble by Dr Albert Ellis. Recognizing faces or race is a simple way to distinguish friends from strangers without a thorough background check each time you encounter someone. We all use this function in perceiving our environment so we are not overwhelmed with too much information. We use this discriminating perceptual process to distinguish different types of birds or poison berries from edible ones. This is a good use of this perceptual function but we also use it as a short-cut for identification and discrimination of people and this can be a bad way to us this function depending on the situation an ensuing action.

We unconsciously make unfortunate  emotional investment in things that have happened to us in the past creating a closed, inflexible mindset that all “black youths wearing baggy pants and a hoody” spell trouble. According to Malcolm Gladwell, in his popular book Blink, many of our life decisions and especially social interactions are based on little information that are generalized to specific situations almost in an automatic way.

Almost every creature comes into world more wired for negativity than positivity or optimism. Why? Fight or flight response. Say you’re wandering through the woods and you fail to notice the pretty wildflowers under your feet. Inconvenient perhaps, but not catastrophic. Now imagine that the thing under your feet is a rattlesnake. Fail to notice this, and its good night, Mark. Which is why we give the bad things in our lives so much more attention than the good ones—a phenomenon known as a negativity bias.

The more you defy your innate negativity bias, building from your strengths, finding relief, and embracing delight wherever you can, the more you become stronger in controlling your own way in life. The impact of optimism  of one person living in acceptance of good things happening in life are immense. Become that person, and you’ll find that in spite of everything, when their is positivity in your life you will experience more happiness and positive interpersonal relationships.  It won’t necessarily change the reality of the situation, but the positiviness has a strong ripple effect on anyone coming in touch with you.

My hypothesis is that Zimmerman, the shooter, may have used irrational beliefs based on past experiences in his encounter with Travon. When he saw Travon, on that raining night, he inaccurately identify someone as a “no good black youth up to no good” the hoody reinforced his suspicion and led to a self-fulfilling prophecy that this person was dangerous and something bad was going to happen any moment. With this expectation in mind he called 911 and began to actively pursue this dangerous person, even though he was told not to follow or pursue and wait for the police to arrive. He  expected to see danger or a possible attack, just as you do when you look at every plant expecting to see poison ivy or poison mushrooms. Past experience can set your filters up to see in either a positive, optimistic or negative, pessimistic light. Automatic filters are necessary, otherwise, your life would be bogged down in the need to resolve every minute doubt, prepare for every possible situation. But Zimmerman’s maladaptive thinking may have led him to belief that Travon, a young black man, signaled trouble and possible danger to him and his neighbors. These triggers led him to make a snap judgment based on past experiences. For example, when you listen to the 911 audiotapes of  Zimmerman with police authorities you hear his negative triggers and fears at work, he said something like these type of punks usually get away with breaking-in or doing harm and it wasn’t going to happen again on his watch. If in the past he had a positive past experiences with black youths his automatic “fight response” may not have been triggered and his snap judgment and action based on fear might have been stopped. Thus, averting the terrible shooting that left one person dead and the shooters life in shambles. If he had reacted in a more positive automatic filter or perception he might have seen the situation in a different light that would have made Travon’s and his life happier and help him to see the best in a person wearing a hoody and walking down the sidewalk in his gated community in a more neutral way as an ordinary citizen to be respect and treated with dignity.

So how do you in the moment of decision stop or block the negative triggers in your mind from putting you and other people in harm’s way and advert a dangerous encounter. By challenging your negative triggers and past experience which lead to negative stereotypes, poor decision-making and inappropriate actions. It is a thinking process I call the STOP. CHALLENGE. REFLECT. ACT. LEARN. REPEAT. learning cycle that gives you time to overcome your impulses and automatic behavior. I will cover how to STOP negative bias and impulsive actions more on my next post. Thanks and I hope this post provides some ideas on why this tragedy took place in Florida. We can all do better. Just STOP and Challenge our irrational thinking before acting.

Critical Factor for Creating Trust as a Leader and Organization: DWYSYWD–Case Study ACE Hardware

Quote – ” Helpful is our business–Caring is our commitment” . Then prove it in every interaction with your customers because your integrity and trust are on the line.” MW Hardwick 

 

Recently, I had an interaction with a hardware store. Specifically, ACE Hardware over a warranty problem and found myself in a “moment of truth” situation for executing their corporate motto of  ” Helpful is our Business – Caring is our Commitment.” The core issue was a simple one:  would they do what is necessary to create what they promise excellence in customer service.  After many phone calls to the store and many more to corporate headquarters, (two unanswered e-mails and a letter to CEO of ACE) and hours of talking to the manufacture who but up bureaucratic hurdle after hurdle so as to not have to meet their promise to honor the warranty. Needless to say my frustration boiled over. I was caught in a trap of trying to solve their internal requirements and non-responsiveness to my situation.  This incident which is still unresolved after nine days demonstrates to me the increasing frequency of people saying they will do something by a certain time, but failing to actually follow through and do it. I am sure you have had similar problems with one of your recent buying experiences. Dealing with a business that promises to “help and care” and then does neither breaks trust and sends buyers to their competitors. I will never shop at ACE again and I recommend they change their motto to: “We don’t care, so don’t ask”.  

This experience took me back to one of the key factors I teach in a our seminars and to business students–How do you to instill trust in others.  The simple and customer friendly answer is be dependable and do what you say you will do… When you say you are going to do something–do it to the best of your ability. Give the task 100%. If you run into problems or find yourself in a bind don’t run and hide or stay stuck–Ask for help. In other words in a very tangible and responsive way DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL DO. PERIOD.The short handed “maxim” which is easy to remember is –DWYSYWD.

When you let others know your word can be counted you are making a personal commitment of time and effort to “walk the talk”. This is a powerful and credible way to build long and trusting relationships. The principle establishes the credibility that is needed for you to be experienced as a leader who everyday earns on a person to person level their trust and commitment to focus on the activities that are crucial to accomplishing goals of the organization. For me the reality of acting on your commitment is the critical factor of this principle not the words you speak. A credible leader learns how not to just communicate shared values and visions but actually can be trusted to do what they say they will do. This forms a bond of  trust that creates strong teams and inspires people not to work just in their own best interest but to acknowledge nothing gets done without the support and trust of their colleagues. 

Daily Quote and Reflection: Personal Development Through Interjective Coaching

Daily Quote:”Oh, what a great gift we would have if we could only see ourselves as others see us .” – Robert Burns

Reflection: I believe that finding your own path to development is critical to any progress you want to make in changing your behavior. I have found that special friends and therapist can help. But like any selection of professional services you must be comfortable with the helper and their philosophy. I have found and develop one process that may fit your needs and style for receiving help and support. This process is called Interjective Coaching which entails a partnership with a trusted friend or coach/therapist. The key elements are open communication, observation constructive feedback, active listening and collaborative problem solving not advice giving.

Action Plan: 

Interjective coaching represents the reframing of mental maps to understand that improving performance requires the ability to assess current performance and be open to feedback that can improve future performance levels. 

The process focuses on providing support (focusing on strengths), and providing observational feedback in real time (focusing on areas for improvement–gestures, appearance, and obstacles/fears interfering with optimal performance), and taking action that aligns clear thinking with behavior. 
 
Interjective coaching is a process that promotes trust and open communication through caring confrontation. Interjective coaching is empathic understanding delivered through non-judgmental support. 

The skill-building process involves the following seven components of Interjective Coaching:

1. Observe me and provide feedback on my present behavior
2. Provide behavioral interventions on how to do things differently (Give me the “know why” as well as the “know how”)
3. Show me how to do it (Model the complete skill for me)
4. Let me try it (One part at a time)
5. Give me feedback (interjective coaching)
6. Help me develop a customized action plan and identify specific behavioral tools to try out and practice.
7. Develop a “continuous improvement plan and feedback loop” through deliberative practice, feedback and adjustment until I have identified the cognitive and behavioral changes that work for me.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Personal Development Through Interjective Coaching

Daily Quote:”Oh, what a great gift we would have if we could only see ourselves as others see us .” – Robert Burns

Reflection: I believe that finding your own path to development is critical to any progress you want to make in changing your behavior. I have found that special friends and therapist can help. But like any selection of professional services you must be comfortable with the helper and their philosophy. I have found and develop one process that may fit your needs and style for receiving help and support. This process is called Interjective Coaching which entails a partnership with a trusted friend or coach/therapist. The key elements are open communication, observation constructive feedback, active listening and collaborative problem solving not advice giving.

Action Plan: 

Interjective coaching represents the reframing of mental maps to understand that improving performance requires the ability to assess current performance and be open to feedback that can improve future performance levels. 

The process focuses on providing support (focusing on strengths), and providing observational feedback in real time (focusing on areas for improvement–gestures, appearance, and obstacles/fears interfering with optimal performance), and taking action that aligns clear thinking with behavior. 
 
Interjective coaching is a process that promotes trust and open communication through caring confrontation. Interjective coaching is empathic understanding delivered through non-judgmental support. 

The skill-building process involves the following seven components of Interjective Coaching:

1. Observe me and provide feedback on my present behavior
2. Provide behavioral interventions on how to do things differently (Give me the “know why” as well as the “know how”)
3. Show me how to do it (Model the complete skill for me)
4. Let me try it (One part at a time)
5. Give me feedback (interjective coaching)
6. Help me develop a customized action plan and identify specific behavioral tools to try out and practice.
7. Develop a “continuous improvement plan and feedback loop” through deliberative practice, feedback and adjustment until I have identified the cognitive and behavioral changes that work for me.

Daily Quote and Story: Winning Isn’t Everything

In the run up to March Madness and other activities in your hectic life don’t miss this story from NPR by Frank Deford–When there is more to Winning than Winning 

Quote: ” It was senior night, and the loudest cheers went to Cory Weissman, No. 3, 5 feet 11 inches, a team captain — especially when he walked out onto the court as one of Gettysburg’s starting five. Yes, he was a captain, but it was, you see, the first start of his college career. Cory had played a few minutes on the varsity as a freshman, never even scoring. But then, after that season, although he was only 18 years old, he suffered a major stroke. He was unable to walk for two weeks. His whole left side was paralyzed. He lost his memory, had seizures.

But by strenuously devoting himself to his rehabilitation, Cory slowly began to improve. He was able to return to college, and by this year, he could walk without a limp and even participated in the pregame lay-up drills…” Read more at When Winning is more than Winning

Reflection:  Away from the  ”Big stage” of Division I Basketball the true worth of sports shines through when you hear a story like this. I would like to hear and see more stories like this rather than the latest drug use, or money issues in the NCAA. It is very inspiring to see how kind and respectful we can be when we stop to do the “right thing” 

Daily Quote and Reflection: It’s okay to fail

Quote:  ” I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. Thomas Edison 

Reflection : Many of us confront failures in the wrong manner. We beat ourselves up rather than seeing these moments as a time for learning. If it was true that failure is not a good learning tool would your young toddler stop trying to talk or walk after their first attempt. Would you give-up trying to learn how to drive a car, cook a steak or talk in front of an audience.  We need to embrace failures–think about Tom Edison and his thousands of failure before his success in inventing the light bulb. Ponder this insight from Edison–”I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Action Assignment: When was the last time you gave up trying to do something just because it was difficult and you had failed at finding the right solution? Are you feeling “stuck” in a career or job that doesn’t reward learning–learn to be more fearless? Ask youself do you want to attempt it now given your new viewpoint on failure?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Empathic Culture Vs. Individualism

Just finished one of the most powerful books I have read in a long time by Jeremy Rifkin, entitled, The Empathic Civilization. His main point is that we are social animals and need to build on this inborn empathy to create a more positive and caring world. 

Quote: “Biologists and cognitive neuroscientists are discovering mirror-neurons—the so-called empathy neurons—that allow human beings and other species to feel and experience another’s situation as if it were one’s own. We are, it appears, the most social of animals and seek intimate participation and companionship with our fellows…If we can harness our empathic sensibility to establish a new global ethic that recognizes and acts to harmonize the many relationships that make up the life-sustaining forces of the planet, we will have moved beyond the detached, self-interested and utilitarian philosophical assumptions that accompanied national markets and nation-state governance and into a new era of biosphere consciousness.”

So how do we use our inborn ability to empathize and act on our innate desire to contribute to the common good for all? How can we take our genetic make-up —along with our values—and use it to move in a more positive direction of creating Common Ground and positivity, rather than negativity and out-dated philosophy of the “Individualism” or every man for themselves.

Reflection: Where do you come down on these two philosophies of life? What drives you to live one or the other

Barriers to Communication Skills Development?– Learners Willingness or Abilities?

” The greatest problems with…older learners occur with meaningless learning, complex learning, and the learning of new things that require reassessment of old learning. “ Merriam, S. & Caffarella, R. Learning in Adulthood.(1991)

Communication skills are often addressed in relation to abilities – the ability to listen, to accurately convey information, select the appropriate channel and to speak to others with clarity, respect and dignity.  As a presentation and communication coach I know at times their is a need for improvement in skills, but more often than not, the issue is not ability; it is willingness (attitude) to be open to feedback and to try new things .  At other times, it is true that adult learners must sometimes “unlearn” practices and habits they have been using for years. This factor is called the “curse of knowledge” by by adult learning experts such as Chris Argyris  Yet in the final analysis, people often have the skills or ability to listen, ask effective questions and share information; they simply choose not to be open to change (attitude). 

What are your ideas about facilitating learning and change with Adult Learners?

Bottom Line vs Power Of Emotional Intelligence: Review 19 Research Studies

“Research by the Center for Creative Leadership has found that the primary causes of
derailment in executives involve deficits in emotional competence. The three primary
ones are difficulty in handling change, not being able to work well in a team, and
poor interpersonal relations.”

This is only one study that highlights the importance of Emotional Intelligence and other factors in being successful in business. To do more investigation checkout the through discussion on why EI is one of the most important elements for any organization in reaching their productivity, profitability and people goals.

The 19 studies reported by Cary Cherniss, Ph.D. at Rutgers University, is part of a larger effort by the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations 

This report builds an over whelming business  case for how emotional intelligence contributes to the bottom line in any work organization. Based on data from a variety of sources, this report can be a valuable tool for HR practitioners and managers who need to make the case  for more assessment EI in recruiting and Leadership and Manger training using EI has the foundation for improving their business culture.

As you read the Report try to identify three ways that you could use EI in your organization and always we look forward to hear your feedback an insights.

Poem: Being There

 

Poem: Being There by Mark W. Hardwick 

I want to connect to you…

      naturally and without effort…

Invite you in without demanding…

       join you in dreaming without be a dreamer…

I want to listen and understand…

          without judging and telling.

Asserting my viewpoint and concerns…

         without attacking and smothering.

Show you worth and consideration…

    without requiring something in return. 

Accepting who you are…

    without wanting to change you. 

In all ways just being there

   without words being spoken…

This is unconditional love

  and love that will last…and last… and last.. 

So that the impossible is possible 

When we are aligned and with each other...

 

Exercise on Interpersonal Conflict: How to control frustrations and anger to solve problems

 

“If we don’t change the direction we are going, we are likely to end up where we are heading.” – Chinese Proverb

Of the three basic emotions that lead to poor productivity and interpersonal flare-ups —disappointment, frustration and fear—frustration leading to anger is the most destructive. Your particular situation may involve enormous frustrations and disappointments with others or yourself.  (“I needed to find better ways to handle Danny’s tantrums before I create a never-ending battle of the wills.” Darn him for always having a melt down when I need his cooperation.”) or enormous self-anger (“Why, why, why can’t I be a better Dad when things are not going well with the kids; m expected reaction just raises the temperature and sets him off. I really hurt our relationship when I get anger.” Whatever the proportions, some feel frustrated guilty but resist letting the situation escalate to anger, shouting and demanding; others acknowledge their frustration and inability to handle the situation but feel “stuck” in same old patterns.. Most of these regrets get you stuck in unproductive perseverance.

Considering frustration and anger separately makes both more useful. Right now, think of something or someone you are frustrated with… With that situation or person in mind, finish this sentence: “I’m frustrated that __________.” Repeat the exercise until you run out of frustrations and things related to that person or situation. For example, if you are  frustrated with a building contractor not finishing on time or making major errors on the project, you might say, “I’m frustrated and extremely disappointed that I have to stay on top of every piece of this remodeling project or it doesn’t get done on budget or in a timely manner. I’m angry that I chose such an incompetent builder and that this project is taking up all my time and energy. ” So this first exercise gets at the root causes for the frustrations.

Now that you have fully itemized the causes for the frustrations make another list of possible solutions needed to be implemented to solve the causes. In this part 2 of the exercise begin each sentence with the phrase, “I’m frustrated and angry at ________ because________ and I want to resolve this by _____________” For example, “I’m angry at Bill, the builder,  because of the cost and time over runs and I want to solve this by instituting a daily meeting to set priorities and action items for completion. To ensure we stay on task I am immediately bringing in a new supervisor for the project.” I’m sad about the need for this tight structure and supervision and the finger-pointing and blame game that has been going on” Write down the solution based  on your identification of the causes for the frustrations and anger about the personnel and situation.

Underneath frustrations is the feeling of disappointment when looking back at what we could have done. It does have a piece of self-loathing. Also, anger for what took place or is still happening. Try learning the lessons the experience is teaching you now rather than looking back and obsessively contemplating what could have been. Reflecting on Warren Buffet’s view of looking back may help you put frustrations and disappointments in perspective–”I never look back. I figure there is so much to look forward to that there is no sense thinking of what I might have done. It just doesn’t make any difference. You can only live life forward.”  So as you think about your frustrations right now–If you had the opportunity for a “do over” what would you do differently? What can you do now to correct the situation or put the project back on track?

Finally, remember that you need to focus on living and working fully and intensely in the present, with minimal infringement from the past failures or miscues to solve this problem and improve productively and enable others on the team to do their best work.

Part 2: Make your next Presentation Remarkable –Say it with passion, emotion and spontaneity. .

Eloquence …may be defined as the speech of one who knows what he is talking about, and means what he says–it is thought on fire…knowledge is of little  use to the speaker without earnestness. Persuasive speech is from the heart to heart,not from the mind to the mind.” William Jennings Bryan

In the past, the traditional method for communicating has been the boring lecture method.  This approach leads to passive audience members who supposedly are listening as the speaker or presenter drones on rationally with their argument, message and facts. . This method of presenting used the flaw tool of ” tell and sell” . Audience members sit in ” rows” and try to stay attentive and awake. In Part 1 of Remarkable Presentations I talked about how to make unique connections with the audience.  Today in Part 2 I would like to focus on how to say things so they resonate with audience members.

So what is the secret for becoming an engaging and remarkable speaker? The new method I have been refining for twenty plus years is called  Interactive Based Presenting (IBP)  Ask the audience to be engaged and discover what learning points and ideas are important and relevant to their interest.  This may be no different today from the classrooms of the 1960s. Some schools are producing students who can take and A’s on standardized tests  and regurgitate enough information to pass SAT’s or LSAT or other exams . Many students, though, walk across the graduation stage with little experience in problem solving or critical thinking and minimal practice in collaboration with others, and no idea how to capture the attention, desire and interest of an audience. So what do they need to do to be more well round and remarkable communicators? As Steve Jobs said, “you can’t talk about profit, you have to talk about emotional experiences…not just cool product but an object of desire.”

Business Development Architecture:A Model based on Messaging

The goal for successful sales interactions is to understand the customer needs and help them differentiated their services or products in unique ways and provide value that can be evaluated against a consistent  and tangible criteria.   Over the years I have been in the business of designing an effective Sales Architecture called a “structure with process” for business development. This model is dependent on designing a message that is grounded. compelling and believable. In this blog I will outline the stages you need to follow in building a “sticky” and effective ” Business Develoment Architecture”.

Business Development Architecture–Stages of Message Development   

Stage 1. Message gathering intelligence and information

Stage2. Message design and structuring

Stage 3. Message implementation

Stage 4. Message Evaluation

In the next blog I will flush-out the definition and details of this Business Development Architecture.

Fact: 80% of employees not involved or engaged at work. Want to change this situation?

In the past I have blogged about the chain for success in motivating and creating engaged employees. I have used SAS, rated last year as number one or best place to work and Whole Foods as models because they pay a living wage above their peer group, individual opportunities for growth through education and training and create pleasant, safe and involved workplaces. The results show if employees are treated fairly and with respect then customers will be satisfied and beat a path to their door. I have ask you to reflect on what a great workplace would be like and you respond with replies that essentially follow some of the elements Tony Schwartz in a recent HBR article. I think Mr.Schwartz has it right and wanted to share some of his observations and insights. He and other researchers have found  – That only 20 per cent of employees around the world report their excited and fully engaged at work. This group sees work as a “want to” not as a “have to”.  This 80/20 gap has important significance for workers, company and especially customers.  Mr. Schwartz says “It’s a disconnect that serves no one well. So what’s the solution? Where is the win-win for employers and employees? The answer is that great employers must shift the focus from trying to get more out of people, to investing more in them by addressing their four core needs — physical, emotional, mental and spiritual — so they’re freed, fueled and inspired to bring the best of themselves to work every day.” He identifies 12 elements for successful workplace that engages and respects employees. For example he talks about sharing the wealth and rewards of profitability with all stakeholders. This element would say to employees we ar all in this venture together “Give all employees a stake in the company’s success, in the form of profit-sharing, or stock options, or bonuses tied to performance. If the company does well, all employees should share in the success, in meaningful ways.” He cites  11 other elements that lend credence to his theory of how to go about creating a win-win environment for all. In this article you are provided with a standard to measure your company against. So get busy seeing if your company passes the test of employee engagement and if you are in a position of influence start thinking about what needs to be changed in your workplace to create an environment that gets everyone engaged and supportive of the organizations mission and vision. .

Seeking Happiness: Learn the Details of the Happiness Equation

Meaningful Living Equation: Purpose + Relativity + Well being + Positivity = Happiness

 Purpose is defined as the goal or object toward which one strives or for which something exists. What are you striving for in this life? Why do you exist? How can you fulfill your dream to make a difference?

• Relativity is the antidote to  absolutism in thinking about people, situations, opportunities and problems in life.
• Meaningful well-being (MWB) is the name experts in this field of personal growth and development say is a critical element for achieving happiness. Since your hell may be my paradise, relativity and subjectivity are the two key elements in the happiness equation. Homeless people in Calcutta have been found to be less unhappy than those in California (because they have a stronger sense of community), reports Ed Diener, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, while the Amish appear to be rarely bored, though churning butter might not be everybody’s idea of a meaningful and purposeful life. It seems, according to recent brain research that we are all born with a happiness “mental set point,” a genetic level—from giddy to grumpy—around which SWB tends to settle, regardless of what happens to us. A now famous study of identical twins reared in different environments suggests that the set point determines about 50 percent of our disposition to happiness.
• According to University of Minnesota professor emeritus of psychology David Lykken, PhD “Happiness is genetically seen as a predisposition that has influence on happiness. So it is best to say happiness is not genetically fixed.. “The brain’s structure can be modified through practice and experiences,” Lykken says. “If you really want to be happier than your parents and grandparents provided for in your genes, you have to learn the kinds of things you can do, day in and day out, to influence your happiness set point up and avoid the things that bounce it down.”

Tools for Increasing Happiness –Keep it Simple and use  Common Sense Activities
There are as many MWB-activities and tools as there are people in need of  a “happiness boost”. Using a number of tools at once appears to be most effective, according to Dr. Diener, who is co-editor of the Journal of Happiness Studies. Such tools can range from common sensical—getting sufficient sleep and exercise, nurturing close relationships, maintaining an optimistic outlook, knowing your strengths and using them in work and play—to attitude shifts and inner work that might not spring immediately to mind, says David Myers, PhD, a professor of psychology at Hope College in Michigan. He also recommends keeping a gratitude or Naken journal, taking control of your own time and your reaction to things, even “acting happy” to raise MWB (since there seems to be a direct link between expression and emotion). While such tools seem almost too simple to be true, they are extraordinarily effective, over time, in retraining the mind toward well-being.

What do you do to get a lift in happiness and knock away boredom?