Want to be a “Sticky” presenter focus on making your communication visible and tangible

We have reviewed and explained how to use the R.A.T.E.R. checklist  tool for more effective and “sticky” presentations in another blog on the Wick

R. Relevant to experience and daily lives of participants. Tap into their needs and wants. Meet their expectations to learn something they can use.

A. Assurance that your ideas have merit and basis in fact and experience–make your case evidence based with best practices woven in to emotional solutions.

T. Create a message that is Tangible ( concrete, specific and practical) not a high level theory. Keep message simple. appeals to sensory and visual needs of the audience. Let them discover the answers. Make the message tangible or concrete by using physical objects and specific fact-based evidence.

E. Focus on showing empathy and understanding of the audience POV by telling emotional and feeling stories. Meet expectations and tap into members experience through involvement and interaction.

R. Be responsive to audience questions, skepticism and challenges.  Use CPR technique (clarify mis-understandings, paraphrase and restate audience comments and input, reflect audience feelings and degree of support or disagreement) and active listening to connect with the audience. For example, when you are asked  for opinion deflect question to the group to stimulate discussion and generate ideas. Then summarize comments and agreements/disagreements  before giving your expert advise or opinions on the topic being discussed.

In the book Made to Stick, the Heath brothers argue that concreteness or tangibility “helps us understand– it helps us construct… insights on the building blocks of our existing knowledge and perceptions.” They suggest that tangible or concrete ideas “stick” better and are easier to remember and spreed to others. Nothing lends concreteness to ideas more obviously than the use of  physical objects or specific scientific-based  evidence.

A physical object is something tangible that the presenter brings forward to show and let them touch during the presentation—it can be a book, rock, picture or factual idea. The reason to use one is if its presence lends more concreteness and provides more interaction and discussion to your presentation. Does the physical object make something clear that is confusing? Does the a tangible provide and reinforce a visual explanation of something abstract? Does the physical model or fact  make your presentation more grounded in reality rather than theory? Use it only if you answered yes to those three questions. Don’t use a physical object or concrete fact in a casual way. Use it as a center piece of your presentation to connect and engage the audience.

Make it Memorable

Now in order to be an idea virus or something audience members will want to go out and tell others about you must also make your message memorable, clear, concise and compelling. Demonstrations, physical object and startling facts can create some of the most dynamic, memorable moments in a presentation. Audiences are very likely to remember the prop you used, and what you did with it, so don’t stumble in your presentation or your risk will not be worth the benefit you were seeking. Ensure that your tangible object has a dynamic, unforgettable purpose in your presentation. If there’s a chance it’s going to be perceived as a gimmick or fall flat with the audience, or its purpose is not relevant enough to the topic at hand, don’t use it.

When presentations disappoint, one cause most likely starts with a failure to recognize that presentations are two-way communication processes and that boredom comes quickly when audience members get lost on too much information or you have not painted or provide reality based tangibles for the audience members to engage and interact with.

Consider ways a Tangible can strengthen and intensify your presentation. If you’re speaking about a device, it’s fitting to show the audience the device at the beginning of your pitch. If you’re reporting a statistic, it’s very effective to make the visual “stick” by bring out a tangible object. Be creative! Have fun with it. And take the risk to enhance your performance and message please share your stories with the rest of the Wick Community.

More from Dr. Berne Brown on Vulnerability, Shame and Connecting

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage”. Dr. Berne Brown

The most  viewed blog post on The Wick is a TED speech by Dr. Berne Brown. She talks about the power of being connected and vulnerable through the lens of dealing with our shame. Her conclusion is that what makes people vulnerable and feel inadequate is what makes people beautiful and happy. To find meaning we need the ability to empathize, belong, love.  This is a very personal and humorous talk by a truly authentic person.  She shares a deep insight from her research, one that caused a breakdown and sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand why shame is always whispered and hidden even from our conscious self. Her insight about  shame is groundbreaking and priceless.

Now she is back with more insights and over 5 million views of her Houston TED speech. Again she opens and models her vulnerability with a funny story about what success has taught her about vulnerability. Don’t miss this thoughtful and reflective speech.

Connecting and Shame

Daily Quote and Reflection: Asking Questions and Living with Uncertainty

Want to  Be Open and updated on Reality—Try asking questions

Daily Quote: “ Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

Reflection: If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most people in order to create a comfort zone and reduce unknowns in life assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own beliefs and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs about life.  So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdated beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up being viewed as inflexible, dogmatic and rigid–  saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” who are on  food stamps are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open-minded and flexible leads to absolute thinking and limits our ability to deal with the uncertainty and inevitable changes in life.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

In many situations,  checking-in by asking questions and challenging our  assumptions provides us with more information and leads us to gain a better appreciation of the issues.

Action Challenge:

So how do we improve our skills and ability to ask better questions? Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

Over the next week try out your skill in asking questions and then see if this doesn’t improve your ability to see people and situations with a more open-mind. Keep us informed of your progress and we can start a dialogue for all of us to feel more comfortable in living with uncertainty and change.  

Death by “boring” presentations and how to Eliminate them

“Speech is power. Speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel.” Ralph Emerson

 When you have a captive audience take advantage of the opportunity, do not bore them to death. Presentations are critical in promoting your ideas and advancing your career. Presentations are a wonderful platform for capturing people’s attention, interest and changing their point of views. It is one of the few mediums that if used properly contain the human interaction  necessary for changing and promoting new ideas and behaviors. Yet with the innovation of PowerPoint and other presentation templates the opportunity to make a ” unique connection” is generally lost or squandered on uninteresting and boring lectures.  

Most presentations today could be finished in five minutes by simply handing out your deck of slides.  Most rules of “adult learning” are violated in boring presentations. For example, some speakers try to influence you by “telling and selling” rather than engaging and connecting with the audience needs and wants. These type of presentations end-up being speaker and content centered rather than audience-centered.

So the question becomes if presentations are so boring and unproductive, why do we continue to have meetings and presentations that are obviously a waste of time and resources?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Greatest Gift

Daily Quote: ” I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made “–Virginia Satir

Reflection: Now it is your turn to absorb, focus and capture your own reflection. You can’t hope to become an effective leader without self-awareness and looking at how words and experiences effect your daily interactions. Learning to learn how to reflect on experiences and the lessons life offers will enhance your ability to relate, communicate and develop as a fully functioning leader and congruent person. So give it a try by reflecting on what it means in your life to truly connect with others. Share your ideas with the rest of our community at the wick. 

Daily Management Tip: Process Framework and Flow for Coaching

Quote: “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and being flexible enough to change the plan if it is not working”. Mark W. Hardwick

I am starting a new series on Daily Management Tips–Here is my first edition to your tool box. Enjoy and let me know how it worked so I can share with our community

Process Framework and Flow for Coaching Session

Before session check for convenient time to discuss issues and opportunities. Be clear on goals or objectives for the session… Remember to Use how to… (statement)  For Example, GM says to sales manger… Bill can we meet at 10:00 am tomorrow to discuss How to improve our current status for 18 wheeler sales in the Down River location. I will need to know what is in the funnel–prospects, proposals out and your best guess on closes for Q4.

        Process Steps                                                                                                                          

1. Clarifying and reviewing your goals, needs and wants for meeting; then get agreement if that is okay with them. Set meeting time and length for discussion.

2. OBSERVATIONS ABOUT CURRENT SITUATION.

• What is the status of the current situation or problem?
• Review obstacles or interferences.
• Find out how they feel about the situation and people involved?
• What have they tried or are trying to remedy the situation or solve problem?

 

3. Accept and listen to their viewpoint by clarifying, asking questions and restating

feelings, viewpoint and facts about the situation

4. Create possible alternatives and solutions for the problem or opportunity. Review their knowledge, skills and attitude about the situation from a technical, people, strategic and urgent point of view.

5. How to’s Action Plan jointly developed and agreed to …WHO does WHAT, by WHEN and HOW. Also, review resources and support needed and commit to reviewing progress at a specific time in the future. Encourage communication between sessions if emergencies or urgent things come up.

 

The Presenter’s Voice–Overcoming 7 Errors of ineffective Communication

” Communication between leader and constituent is at the heart of everything.” John Gardner

Process with Structure key elements: Process and principles trump techniques every time

• Deliberative Practice
• Curse of Knowledge
• Delivery and design Principles–Unique Connection

Seven fatal errors of communication– The biggest flaw with communicators is assuming that they have connected, their message has taken place. and people will know how to execute it.

1. People are listening and with listening the message has been internalized

2. People understand what was communicated–check to see if they get it.

3. People care what was communicated–Show people what is needed to be more selfless

4. People agree with was communicated–Communicator must over come cynicism and doubts

5. People are inspired and motivated take action on new ideas–Create support systems and models for change

6. People are willing to change their ways without evidence that it is the right thing to do–Provide facts and emotional reasons for change that overcome the fears of changing 

7. People are able to push pass uncertainty and doubt with only limited exposure to a message.–Need for continuous and frequent reinforcement of message by communicator

Daily quote and Reflection: Communication Our Greatest Achievement or Our biggest Deficit ?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Man’s supreme achievement in the world is communication from personality to personality” Karl Jasper

Reflection: I do agree that communication is man’s greatest achievement but the problem is that most of us are not very good at it. Our technical advances in communication have been far and wide, and people still struggle with the most important form of communication–face to face conversations. Many find it difficult to do in their places of work and others find it most difficult to accomplish with those we love and live with. Maybe this situation has been with us forever but I have been increasing worried and aware of the ineffectiveness of most of our interpersonal communication. It is rare to find a friend or group of colleagues who opening and sincerely share what really matters. My belief is that this situation has evolved  because of the hectic pace we are now living, or because we are just unwilling to share our feelings or truly listen and understand others and possibly it is because we have never learned how to effectively communicate. I have never seen a class on listening and communication in our public schools but a lot of emphasis on reading, math and science.  Yet communication has been seen as one of the biggest problems for failure in marriages and the workplace.  This interpersonal communication deficit in modern times affects the all the major institutions of our life from politicians to constituents, unions to management, doctors and patients and most of all parents to children. Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.

Action Activity: In the next 24 hours pick a communication skill like listening and reflecting feelings with someone who generally you ignore or tune out. Capture your observations and learning.  Remember the Rule of Change says” Things do not remain the same. If they don’t get better, they get worse.”  Good Luck 

Want to make your next pitch to “Stick” and help Close the Deal?

When delivering a presentation or sales pitch, providing content may not be enough to make the close. You need to deliver your pitch with confidence and clarity. To make a more powerful first impression and unique connection Shannon Alter advises that you turn your pitch into a conversation and make sure you meet the client’s needs and expectations. Don’t waste your client’s time with the hour-long PPT deck, get to the point, craft a “sticky message” and practice your pitch so it appears and received as authentic and spontaneous. See Alter’s article on Smart Leadership blog.  

The Power of Pause in Making your Message “spontaneous and sticky”

Recently I listened to a roundtable discussion on the future of our city. Most short speeches were present with the speed of lightning. The speakers were professional architects, City Planners and Strategic Planners. There pitches were fast and felt like they were trying to beat the clock or just get done and back to their seats. As an audience it was difficult to absorb their points and understand their arguments or message.  But later on in the round table discussions, the experts seemed to settled down and began pausing when they spoke it was more conversational and spontaneous. I only wish they could have viewed their individual opening presentations. (3-5 min long) on video tape to see the difference between the formal pitch and the round table discussion.  Maybe next time in the back of the room someone will remove the green and red lights that keep the presenter focused on time rather than content with a sign that says take ” Deep breath, pause and speak”

What is the lesson for presenters to learn from this story? I think it is to realize that small changes like eye contact and pauses can make a big difference in how your speech is received and remembered.   The speed and pace of you’re talking has to find a natural balance—not to fast and not to slow. To monitor your natural pace you need to use the power of the pause. People who provide their audience time to digest their ideas and pitches have more success because they make it easier for people to ponder and assimilate their message. The next time you watch a speech from a TED Conference or C-Span pay attention to the really good speakers who use the pause to gather their ideas and others who distract you with their rapid fire deliver and fill speech such as um and other verbal tics.  Watch how they end a sentence or paragraph. Notice their ability to drop their voice and pause. The use of a well placed pause gives the listeners —  time to absorb and reflect on the words and the message. But when a presenter stands up in front of an audience, the stress of the situation triggers the brain chemistry to the “fight or flight response because of a rush of adrenaline which produces an increase heart rate and blood pressure that if not controlled causes the presenter who is anxious to speak faster and rush past the pauses. As a presenter you must remember that speech tempo is impacted by stress and anxiety. This faster pace delivery can lead to misunderstanding, overload and confusion for listeners.

Word and speech acceleration takes away from your ability to connect and meet your objectives for the presentation. Rapid pace not only makes a presenter appear anxious; it runs words together.  Professional speakers can learn a lot from watching actors who pay as much attention to the cadence of their speech as they do to the tone of their voices; and so, when actors end their sentences, they pause to punctuate the meaning of an idea.

Presenters would do well to give their audiences a moment to absorb and reflect on their message by pausing at the ends of their phrases. The best way to create a pause is to drop your voice at the end of your sentence or phrases. Sadly, many presenters who are inexperienced and anxious do the opposite; they let their voices fade off or rise at the end of their sentences, producing the dreaded “girlie uplift” .  If you concentrate on dropping your voice, you will not only sound more authoritative, you will add those valuable pauses so your will stay attentive and involved in your speech.

Secret to “Sticky” Presentation Opening: Capture the Audience in first 8 seconds

 On August 22nd, 2o11  I blogged about the critical importance of building rapport with the audience in order to connect and keep their attention and focus. I used a the following quote to open the blog “…the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships”. – Deborah Tannen. Ph.D. 

Now I have to revise and extent my remarks and viewpoint because of new information from the field of cognitive psychology. Recent studies by cognitive psychologists report that the key to keep a persons attention is only  8 seconds not 60 as reported in the past research. In researching the idea I discovered that the length of time the average human can concentrate on something and not lose focus is as little as 8 seconds. OMG just Eight seconds!  Sixity seconds, then, was way too long for getting attention for your presentation. You know how you hear something in a conversation and you lean in because you want to hear the rest of it? That’s what you want from your audience in the first 8 seconds of your speech.

If you accomplish that in those 8 seconds, they’ll give you the next 5 minuets  to drive your message home with no bull. It’s not establishing your credentials or reviewing the agenda.  It’s about what’s in it for the audience members to go listening to your message.

Connecting with the audience is one of the most challenging elements of creating a climate for an interaction and engagement :

• You must be ready to start with high energy and hit your marks perfectively so to keep the audience engaged and curious about your topic
• Connecting is all about observation and building rapport and empathy. To do this you nee to show interest and understanding about your audience needs and problems.
• You need to know how to effectively open-up conversations. The skill of improvising and be attuned to audience feelings and distractions help you to  customize your presentation as you go.
• You must find ways to engage and connect emotionally not just presenting facts, bullet point slides and logic.
• Having the audience answer why they are attending or interested in the presentation needs to be ask at least three times so as to uncover the members “unique” objective or goal for the session.

Gestures and other non-verbal communication tips to support and amplify “sticky” message

”What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” —Emerson

One of the most frequently asked question of presentation coaches is “What do I do with my hands or eyes” and How do I use gestures to connect or hurt my performance ? The worst thing you can do is to try to think about what you’re saying and figuring out at the same time how to gesture, move  use your hands, where you need to stand etc. One of the most important things to understand about presenting is that being yourself which includes aligning gestures with words and intent must be natural if you are going to be perceived as open, trustworthy and authentic.

My advice is to review a video of yourself presenting and you will quickly see how you come across to people. Any habit used to often in a presentation can become a distraction to the audience. For example, finger pointing or moving around the podium randomly will diminish your effectiveness and impact. Now let’s look at some Non-Verbal communication tools that support and amplify “sticky” message

 Handshake.  Firm and palm-to-palm contact is important for demonstrating confidence and sincerity. The fish shake with the tips of the fingers of the hand  signals insecurity and lack of confidence.  The handshake can leave either a good, poor or weak first impression and of course, comes into play to signal agreement or goodwill at the end of a meeting.

Eye contact. The eyes are the most powerful part of our body language, and can express everything from happiness, annoyance, interest, boredom and frustration. Consistent and frequent  eye contact using the technique of presenter communicating one thought to one person is a powerful way to build rapport and is usually perceived as the speaker being warm, honest and engaging. Darting eyes and looking over the heads of the audience is interpreted as nervousness, aloofness or disengagement by the audience.
Gestures:  Hands, Arms and legs position. Folded arms or crossed legs, perhaps turning away slightly, indicates a lack of interest and detachment. Later uncrossed arms and legs may be a sign of acceptance of your position or terms. An expressive presentation style will have toes pointed out and hands open when gesturing.   A less dynamic and shy presentation style  will point at members of the audience and keep their toes pointed in. None of these come through as positive gestures to the audience.
Posture and Movement. If you are trying to appear confident and authoritative, stand erect with shoulders back and legs about 12” apart with one leg further forward than the other . A slumped position usually indicates insecurity, nervousness and uneasiness.
Facial expression. A critical message delivered with a smiling face will have a totally different impact than one delivered with a stern or frowning face. In ability to smile or laugh sincerely makes you appear to be robitic or stiff as a presenter. Think here Al Gore or Mitt Romney who demonstrate that stiffness doesn’t work, because the warmth and sincerity is lost.

One last tip do not try to choreography or structure nonverbal behaviors. I’ve seen far too many presenters attempt to illustrate their narrative with specific gestures and wind up looking like buffoons. Instead, use your hands, arms and movements as you do naturally, to illustrate what you are saying. However, I do recommend one gesture: to extend your hand and arm periodically, bridging the gap between you and your audience  with your hand in handshake position or palms up signalling openness to comments and feedback

Sticky Presentation factors–Connecting through the eyes “One thought to one Person” and Pause.

Want to connect with your audience and reduce nervousness–Deliver one thought to one person in the room. Think about the physiology of vision.  Light enters the front of the eyeball, hits the rods and cones at the back of the eye, and creates an electrical impulse that shoots around the optic nerve to the optic lobe at the back of the skill.  Your brain then takes the better part of a second to decipher this electrical Morse code.  While the act of turning the electrical impulses into light, color and contrast is an unconscious brain activity, putting the shapes into a comprehensible context is a conscious brain activity.

Problem Explored

Eye contact or shifting-this is where we create a problem for ourselves as speakers. It is perfectly natural to look rapidly around the room when first standing in front of an audience.  This rapid eye movement creates visual over-stimulation.  It forces our brain to process incoming visual stimuli on a conscious level.  When speaking to a group, we have another conscious activity that is trying to occur simultaneously . . . the delivery of our prepared topic!  Our brains do not do two things at once very well, on a conscious level.  This is why our mind will sometimes go blank during the delivery of our prepared topic — to allow our brain to catch up on the processing of visual stimuli.

Solution to “shifting eyes” problem

Speakers naturally solve this problem by looking at ceilings and floors, where there is usually a blank space with little visual stimuli to process.  This works!  It would also work to close your eyes, as a speaker, to limit incoming visual stimulus.  For obvious reasons, closing your eyes would not be a good choice.  The most productive way to limit visual stimuli is to stare at the eye of an audience member.  (If you’re far enough away from your audience, you can stare at both their eyes at once.)  There are three advantages to limiting visual stimulus this way.

The benefits of controlled eye contact:

First, you can “read” the response from your audience as you deliver a whole thought to one individual.  Second, direct eye contact conveys sincerity in all cultures across the world.  Third, as a speaker, you get the advantage of limiting visual stimuli so you can think more clearly and reduce your nervousness. It is always nice to find a friendly face to interact with during the first few moments of your speech..

When pauses are added to this controlled eye contact technique, you enhance your  effectiveness and authenticity.  The pause packages your words into one cohesive thought at a time for the audience.  It also adds emphasis to the key points you wish to convey as a speaker.  Also, when you can’t think of what to say next, this pause buys you thinking time without giving away to the audience that your mind has gone momentarily blank. The mastery of this controlled eye contact technique + pause is the foundation skill for successfully talking to a group of people.

Assignment

For your next speech get it video taped or have a colleague checkout your eye movement and provide feedback on its effectiveness. Using this principle will help you in both delivery and connection with the audience. Good Luck.

Summary Technique process–Remember the technique–One thought One person. Pause and then turn your body and deliver another complete thought to another person. Have that moment of unique contact. Eye contact used effectively helps you connect and the more you can use it the more momentum and the less resistance you will have from the audience to your message..

Finding out what makes the difference in Presenting impactful Technical Presentations.

Technical presentations are loaded with facts and evidence to the point of diminishing returns if the  amount of information is not targeted and transmitted  in a relevant and meaningful way.  The audience even though they are ground in the subject matter , such as high cholesterol, diets, or financial planning can get lost if your message is not clear, concise and compelling. So what are the best and more effective ways to make the desired goal of transmitting information and change audience behaviors?  Checkout one of my most visited blog post on this idea–http://thewick.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/

The Inner Critic and the Outer Game of Life–Tips on How to “Play to Win”

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” –Richard Bach

In this blog I will provide some proven tips for overcoming the negative “inner critic” and help you begin to practice how to access your positive and natural strengths ( Self 2  a concept articulated by Tim Gallwey), to conquer performance fears and the power of the negative critic (Self1)  in your mind.

I think that many issues and problem we experience can be traced back to the internal conversations and stories we tell ourselves about our self, other people and situations. If we are unaware of these internal dialogues or let them override our common sense we can make big errors in judgment. This “inner critic” can interfere with our ability to make decisions, take risk and perform below our potential. Some of the external behavior may lead to bad first impressions, lack of confidence, unhappiness, fears, such as heights, flying or public speaking and other unfortunate outcomes.

Instead of focusing on the behavior you want to change, focus on the irrational messages the “inner critic” is telling and selling to you. Poor thinking leads to negative messages and become an obstacle to a strong sense of self and impact performing in a natural, authentic and confident manner. To STOP the negative alien or critic from talking and under-minding behavior you must find ways to change irrational thoughts into positive thoughts.

Let me suggest five techniques to take control of the destructive and upsetting inner conversations with your self critic:

1. Practice mindful awareness. It doesn’t matter where the inner critic’s material is coming from because it could be achored in comments and experiences from teachers, parents, a coach or an abusive spouse or  other traumatic experience; the reasons and sources of criticism don’t matter you just increasing your awareness that these conversations are happening provides power over the critical thoughts.
2. Evaluate whether the message has any validity or truth’ Is it enabling you to accomplish the outcomes you want or is it preventing you from doing so. Be honest. (Sometimes, people are addicted to their problems and the stories that create them.)
3. Keep a self-journal. Write down word for word the internal dialogue with the critic. It might be something like the following:

• “You’re no good at X, Y or Z,,.”
• “You’re too uncoordinated to play sports..”
• “You’re stupid and not very smart when it comes to math.”
• “You’re to an over-educated bleeding heart liberal.”
• “You take things to seriously.”
• “You have no sense of humor
• “ You are not a good writer

4. Brainstorm solutions and new messages for changing the dialogue.

• Create powerful affirmations and clear messages to block the “inner critic”.
• Write solutions down on a 3 x 5 card that provide evidence for overcoming irrational messages or stories presented by the inner critic. I’m not talking about a bunch of positive puff statements I am suggesting telling the truth to yourself and the critic. Often, this is simply a matter of shifting your perspective and providing evidence that is opposite to the negative critic’s story or message..

5 Start telling yourself new messages, believing in focused attention and turning down or off the inner critic. Every time your inner critic begins to tell you that you are loser, stop him. Say, “No! That’s BS. Here’s the truth.” Then repeat your new message or affirmation. For example, At a critical moment in a tennis match the inner critic says you always miss the important points or you are a choker when the match hinges on your ability to serve out a match to win. You say STOP. Take a deep breath and remember times when you have overcome steep hills to win. You visualize winning the point and turn it over to your fluid and natural Self 2. You play every point going down to the wire with focus on the “here and now” moment and remind yourself of comebacks in the past. You say to the inner critic I am not a loser and I don’t quit. I just need to focus on the next shot and do the best I can.!