Improving Connections: Reduce Self-Centerness

The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we are not aware of and do not understand.” George Herbert Mead

 The other day I was talking to an elderly, accomplished, and well-educated man, who is a legend in his own mind.  He came unglued about the “socialist” country Obama was creating with all the bailouts.  His anger was irrational and visceral.   Of course, he was carrying Rush Limbaugh’s water and talking points.  This is a guy who rarely questions his beliefs.  I have noticed time and time again his inability to give credit to other people’s ideas and his focus on the peripheral.  Now some people might call this narcissism or self-centered. I call it irrational thinking and unconscious incompetence (you don’t know what you don’t know). 

 

 What does research in psychology tell us about self-defeating and irrational thinking of this kind?

Creating Unique Connects — Try Active Listening to Start Understanding Others

 ”We think much faster than we talk…the average rate of speech is 125 words per minute and the ability to absorb and think is 4-5 times faster…so the critical question is what do we do with our spare time when someone is talking to us?” Ralph Nichols, Professor at University Minnesota, 1957 

Since, the article by Ralph Nichols in the HBR in 1957, have we improved the literacy of people  to become more effective listeners? The answer is a little bit but the journey goes on for each new generation and individual to take the time to become better listeners.  What is the benefit for being a better listener?  As Dr. Nichols once said, The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” In addition, How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have it improves your communication effectiveness, improves interpersonal relations and gives you the ability to negotiate through conflict situations.

Unique Connect #3 –How to Impact “first impression bias”

“In times of change it is the learners who inherit the future. Those who have finished learning find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer, Social Commentator and author  

How to impact “First Impressions” 

We have all had the experience of feeling immediately connected to someone and the opposite experience of disliking someone on first meeting. 

Researchers vary on their conclusions whether this takes 2-3 seconds or 15 seconds. The exact timing is unimportant lets just say we make very quick snap judgments about others. So how to make the most of these encounters becomes important for all of us. Of course, the most important thing whether it be a social meeting or a business contact is –how to make these interpersonal connections work for and not against you. As I discussed in the last posting most of the judgments made are immediate and instinctive, so the challenge is to see if we can influence or impact the way  other people perceive us.

Secrets of Coaching: Power of T.R.U.S.T.

T.R.U.S.T.

                       

Five- Step Master Coaching and Change Model

 

Step 1.  TELL the Truth to yourself and others – Be clear on change wanted and goals. Tell truth to yourself and others… no lies, be authentic, open and do the right thing in interaction. (Stop)