Dr. Brown’s last speech at TED was one of our most watched video post of 2011. Now she is back with more insight and reflection on how vulnerability can impact change and innovation in your life.
By the way her opening is a great example of modeling personal vulnerability. This opening teaches you how to use self-disclosure and vulnerability to connect with an audience.
” Concentration and mental toughness provide confidence and are the difference between a boring presentation and a WOW experience for the audience.” MW Hardwick, Presentation Coach
Design with Purpose and Deliver with Confidence.
What matters to you is shown by your passion. Your passion will draw others to your cause. Emotional words and message are more important in hooking people and generating a contagion. Meaningful purpose gathers extraordinary support. The right idea—framed in emotion—grows exponentially through social media and word of mouth advocacy. Checkout how, The Dragonfly Effect, encouraged a social media project 100k Cheeks, to raise awareness and increase the number of people enrolled in the International Bone Marrow Registry.
If you isolate one thing about high achievers that has put them at the pinnacle of success above anything and everything else, it is the ability to communicate and connect with confidence and openness to audience members. I call this constellation of factors the mental toughness factor.
Call it mental toughness, confidence, courage–it is the profound ability to stay
in connected and overcome obstacles in the face of taking risks, challenges, loss, and adversity.
This new knowledge will empower you to perform at the top of your game because relevant information + knowledge = confidence and power, because 90% of success as a presenter is belief in yourself and mental toughness.
That’s why you owe it to yourself to take the next step to build your confidence and character as a public speaker. Try out these techniques and I assure you that your next speech will not be boring.
Daily Quote: ” I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made “–Virginia Satir
Reflection: Now it is your turn to absorb, focus and capture your own reflection. You can’t hope to become an effective leader without self-awareness and looking at how words and experiences effect your daily interactions. Learning to learn how to reflect on experiences and the lessons life offers will enhance your ability to relate, communicate and develop as a fully functioning leader and congruent person. So give it a try by reflecting on what it means in your life to truly connect with others. Share your ideas with the rest of our community at the wick.
Practice Makes Perfect —Really
Does 10,000 hours make you expert or master of a subject or performance activity, like tennis or public speaking? From my review it seems that the key is 10,000hours done in deliberative practice structure. So what exactly is deliberative practice? Most research defines it as an activity with a very well-defined end-goal, which should be difficult. The activity needs to be highly repeatable. There needs to be feedback on the quality of each repetition; so it is helpful to have a coach or friend review your performance.
Many cognitive scientist that the key to mastery comes about when a skill is moved from the short term memory of the beginner to the working long term memory of the expert. Once embedded in the working long term memory, the brain can short-cut the slow process of deliberation associated with juggling new rules stored in the short term memory. Indeed, the operation of working long term memory is like snap judgments or “gut decisions” you make on a daily basis because we have been there before and done that thing we wanted to do.
I believe that the neurological rewiring that occurs during focused attention is the driving mechanism behind the deliberative practice process for learning. Only focused attention can trigger the brain into the process of rewiring the brain. Self-reflection over the feedback seems to be the important element needed to move a skill from short term memory to the working long-term memory. Often, after I’ve practiced a new technique in tennis, a burst of energy and satisfaction of having let my natural Self 2 do what it does best without interferences of past experience, doubt or negativity. This is probably a consequence of some kind of rewiring. The repetition of this self-awareness in deliberative practice results in the most effective rewiring, leading ultimately to a state of mastery where the activity can be done quickly, and without effort.
http://boscoh.com/books/towards-mastery-deliberative-practice-flow-and-personality-traits
Daily Quote: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
Reflection:
2. Presenter doesn’t spend time building rapport or trying to connect with audience, so confidence and credibility are questioned
3. Material is not useful or relevant to audience needs and expectations
4. They’ve heard it all before—you don’t stimulate their curiosity
5 . No roadmap or agenda, is provided so participants—are lost, bored or confused
6. Presenter doesn’t take learning styles into consideration and presents too much information or just lectures without any involvement of audience members eg, too detailed and too many PPT slides.
7. It’s too long and attention span of participants wanes or you go over the allotted time
8. Close is just not compelling or powerful enough to inspire participants to action
Reflection: One constant in life is change. How we learn to live with change depends on our experience and mental-set. An unpleasant or painful experience may program your mental-set to either avoid or see new experiences as an opportunity and a challenge. It all depends on how we perceive the original event and process it into our long-term memory. Some of my clients are bored or “stuck” in their marriage or career, or their lives in general. By remaining in their habits and status quo ways, they are denying themselves opportunities to see the possibilities in their life and fall short of their full potential. Self-mastery is knowing when to learn new skills or take on new responsibilities, when to hold on to beliefs that serve you, and when to let go of beliefs, thinking and behaviors that do not fulfill your potential and serve you.
Self-efficacy is the context-specific assessment of belief in our personal capabilities to organize and execute what is required so as to achieve the intended goal. It is concerned not with the skills we have, but rather with our control over our own level of functioning. People with high self-efficacy choose more demanding tasks. They set higher goals, put in more effort, and persist longer than those who are low in self-efficacy.
Self-efficacy grows through personal and vicarious experience, discipline, and valid feedback. Although usually considered in a single context, there may also be a generalized effect reflecting a person’s abilities across a broad array of difficult or novel situations. For instance, if someone is loved by a supportive family on the home front, then that person will display a greater confidence on the job. This will be reflected by peer and management feedback, which will, in turn, show up on the home front, perpetuating the cycle.
How can you better address change in your life? Here are some tips:
What are you turning away from personally or professionally that needs to be addressed? In the end, if you don’t make the changes in your life, life will make them for you.
Quote: “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and being flexible enough to change the plan if it is not working”. Mark W. Hardwick
I am starting a new series on Daily Management Tips–Here is my first edition to your tool box. Enjoy and let me know how it worked so I can share with our community
Process Framework and Flow for Coaching Session
Before session check for convenient time to discuss issues and opportunities. Be clear on goals or objectives for the session… Remember to Use how to… (statement) For Example, GM says to sales manger… Bill can we meet at 10:00 am tomorrow to discuss How to improve our current status for 18 wheeler sales in the Down River location. I will need to know what is in the funnel–prospects, proposals out and your best guess on closes for Q4.
Process Steps
feelings, viewpoint and facts about the situation
Weaves in and out from defenders
Reaches out and grabs the bounce pass
He dribbles around the screen and glances at the basket
On the hard courts
rich in texture and color
He jump stops
And gazes at the rim,
He fakes and then shoots,
Up in the air
Raising his cocked arm
Above his head
Snaps the wrist
And follows through like fish-hook
And years of deliberate practice
Tells him it is always good
This day and this moment
Is all there is
All pieced together
This one final moment…
The shooting hand
And eyes fix on the rim
As fan noise reaches a climax
Hear the swoosh…swoosh…
Of the net
Now enjoy and love,
One Shining Moment…Moment of truth…
Oh, my God…
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Victor Frankl
Constructive Living necessitates the elimination of self-sabotaging thinking and behavior. It requires more self-directed action and the creation of a meaningful life purpose and process.
The technique used to facilitate this transformation is what I call the Smart-Step Centering process. It is all about establishing a clear and meaningful purpose, confidence through positive self-talk and skill development through realistic practice, feedback and execution plans.
Smart-Steps framework is more manageable in developing positive behavior changes then a more general or holistic approach. Smart-Steps allow the client to focus on the goal and the process instead of judging performance (based on fears, false expectations and results). For example, process goals help people to focus on being in the moment and responding in a responsive way to others and their environment. It helps people turn shyness and nervousness energy into positive enthusiasm for interacting and understanding others. Here are some essential components of the Smart-Step Process as applied to interpersonal communication.
1. Clarify and agree to an agenda and expectations for your time together. Start interaction by asking questions and listening to the other person. Show interest and sincere concern in hearing their story.
2. Monitor and Edit yourself. Sincerely listen and try to meet the other person’s need to share and be understood by not giving advice, judging their behavior or opinions. Show them that you have their best interest at heart.
3. Soften your “connection”. Be friendly and welcoming. Too much, too soon and too strong usually leads to suspicion and resistance from others.
4. Accept influence. A presentation succeeds to the extent that the presenter can accept influence from the audience members. Be responsive to audience comments or concerns. Be quick on your feet and flexible to show your care.
5. Respect and Encourage candid dialogue. Understand how to become a better listener, give positive feedback, and mirror the other person’s gestures and body language. Learned to model the good habits and positive energy you would like others to show you.
7. Focus on the optimistic “POV”. Try to connect with and understand the other person’s view of the world. Interpersonal conversations work best when you are experienced as a caring and respectful listener So make at least three-five times as many positive statements as negative comments.
Once you understand the Smart-Step process you are on the road to significant personal change. Process goals replace personal expectations and help performers focus on what is really important during a performance – being audience centered and in the moment. Being and living in the moment is critical to developing confidence. It means learning to trust, believe in yourself and developing a sense of being vulnerable and at risk. Trust is directly related to your ability to be open and is experienced as authentic by others. Make sure you leave a good first impression and this could turn-out to be the start of a life-long friendship.
Quote: To recharge themselves, individuals need to recognize the costs of energy-depleting behaviors and then take responsibility for changing them, regardless of the circumstances they’re facing.
The lack of focused time and thus stress and burnout be an epidemic, but the problem isn’t in what we say. It’s what we do and how we set priorities and use a limited amount of our precious energy. For all the people writing about the importance of the “sustainable development” of our economy, how many are there worrying about the sustainability of our own body energy ? Research reports that a disciplined and focused lifestyle effectively helps in achieving more in less time. Don’t miss this excellent article by Tony Schwartz it provides a whole new perspective on how to manage and expand that valuable resource called energy. Take the self-assessment tool provide by Mr Schwartz to see if you are heading for a personal energy crisis. Good Luck and fun with this it will provide a reading on your ability to recovery and stay healthy in our fast-paced world. http://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time/ar/1
INTRODUCTION: THE BIG IDEA –Redefining the Inner Game
Approximately 40 years ago, Tim Gallwey developed a powerful self-development model called: the Inner Game. His principles and methods over the years inspired and continue to ring true for many people. His principles have been the foundation for people to improve their performance and self-confidence inside and outside the sports world. The exciting thing now is how neuroscience research on the brain says that the joy of feeling good is a conscious state of mind, rooted in the neocortex, the region of the brain responsible for thinking, planning, and decision–making: You ace you opponent in tennis or get a standing ovation after a speech and think, “I really feel good.”
This research on the brain is shedding light on how the inner game is tied to the neocortex synapses and neurotransmitters. The brain works to influence and propel our outer world behavior. The critical cornerstone of Galleway’s model and the Inner Game principles is the distinction between different internal voices called Self 1 and Self 2. For definitional purposes Self 1 is the voice characterized by critical and doubting internal self-talk that evaluates and provides obstacles for performance improvement, and Self 2, gives voice to the natural source of your talent, confidence and capabilities to be the best you can be. Self 1 is the unproductive thinking driven by fear and self-doubt that interferes with your ability to reach your true potential. Self 2 is the voice that emerges naturally from your own deepest experiences, convictions, values and mental wiring. Many of the difficulties in succeeding in business are related to the ability to be an effective communicator, whether speaking one-on-one or 1 to thousand in a big ballroom.
New Presentation Playbook for “Winning from Within”
“Knowing yourself and being present and sensitive to expectations and needs of others is the beginning of “learning how to learn.” Mark W. Hardwick, Ph.D.
In a world where communication effectiveness is the critical key to success for team and interpersonal interactions–many of us do not spend enough time on improving our people skills. In essence, my vision is to change the world of presentation one performance and one person at a time. The way I teach it varies from engagement to engagement and person to person. Some of my teaching is one on one coaching, sometimes in small groups and some times to large audience trying to model and demonstrate effective engagement and connection strategies and tactics.I like to thoroughly understand who I am talking with and identifying what they want to accomplish to become better communicators.
The Presenter’s Playbook for Winning from Within. Includes but is not limited to the following principles:
1. Embrace the challenge of the presentation and opportunity to show your best.
2. Trust and believe in your message and ability to deliver it in a memorable way.
3. Get out of worrying about acceptance and results and into the process of connecting with the audience
4. Be audience-centered and focused not self-centered and arrogant.
5. Be prepared to accept surprises and be confident that nothing will upset you on the platform.
6. Learn to be flexible and open and ready to change at any moment by reading your audience and listening for non-verbal feedback
7. Don’t just “wing it” learn to love planning, design and deliberative practice.
8.. Love your message and audience–don’t effort or try so hard be authentic. Learn to be in the moment and play to your natural strengths
9. Respect audience attention span and learning capacity.–Don’t over load them with facts , figures and information
10. Remember — Perfection is a killer to spontaneity so be present in the moment and have fun doing it. Be your own best friend.
Daily Quote: Winston Churchill once said: “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
Reflection: We all could learn from this advice. Strong opening that hooks and captures the audience members curosity and a strong closing that inspires them to action. In my coaching I have seen presenters hurriedly do a summary, ask for questions while packing and other closes that flop or plop. The flop is a close that doesn’t impact the audience or reinforce your message like a quote that is not relevant to the message you want the audience to remember. The flop could be as bad as saying–”well folks that’s all I have to say.” The “plop” is a remark that goes out to the audience but doesn’t get a positive response. It is important to close your speech with as much energy as when you open the speech. This is a time to have a powerful story that reinforces your message or request that is so powerful to move people to action or change their thinking. This lack of nailing the close is an opportunity missed. For example,I recently saw a doctor when presenting keep looking at his watch and flying through complex slides just to get to the finish line on time. He ended is speech by saying, well I guess that’s all the slides I have. Thanks. WOW what a let downer and terrible closing that was. In fact, your last remarks when presenting are valued all out of proportion to the total amount of effort you put into the presentation. This powerful factor of audiences remembering the last thing they have seen or heard been studied by communication experts and linguist and is called the Recency Effect.
Action Activity: For your next presentation work on fine tuning your final message by practicing it in front of some colleagues and getting feedback on how it grabbed them or in what way it needs improvement. Some expert presenters memorize their closing and use the story format or quote to reinforce their message. Don’t missed an opportunity for your message to be experienced as inspirational, memorable and energizing. Remember your closing will be how your performance in the main is judged . Good Luck.
