Want to be a “Sticky” presenter focus on making your communication visible and tangible

We have reviewed and explained how to use the R.A.T.E.R. checklist  tool for more effective and “sticky” presentations in another blog on the Wick

R. Relevant to experience and daily lives of participants. Tap into their needs and wants. Meet their expectations to learn something they can use.

A. Assurance that your ideas have merit and basis in fact and experience–make your case evidence based with best practices woven in to emotional solutions.

T. Create a message that is Tangible ( concrete, specific and practical) not a high level theory. Keep message simple. appeals to sensory and visual needs of the audience. Let them discover the answers. Make the message tangible or concrete by using physical objects and specific fact-based evidence.

E. Focus on showing empathy and understanding of the audience POV by telling emotional and feeling stories. Meet expectations and tap into members experience through involvement and interaction.

R. Be responsive to audience questions, skepticism and challenges.  Use CPR technique (clarify mis-understandings, paraphrase and restate audience comments and input, reflect audience feelings and degree of support or disagreement) and active listening to connect with the audience. For example, when you are asked  for opinion deflect question to the group to stimulate discussion and generate ideas. Then summarize comments and agreements/disagreements  before giving your expert advise or opinions on the topic being discussed.

In the book Made to Stick, the Heath brothers argue that concreteness or tangibility “helps us understand– it helps us construct… insights on the building blocks of our existing knowledge and perceptions.” They suggest that tangible or concrete ideas “stick” better and are easier to remember and spreed to others. Nothing lends concreteness to ideas more obviously than the use of  physical objects or specific scientific-based  evidence.

A physical object is something tangible that the presenter brings forward to show and let them touch during the presentation—it can be a book, rock, picture or factual idea. The reason to use one is if its presence lends more concreteness and provides more interaction and discussion to your presentation. Does the physical object make something clear that is confusing? Does the a tangible provide and reinforce a visual explanation of something abstract? Does the physical model or fact  make your presentation more grounded in reality rather than theory? Use it only if you answered yes to those three questions. Don’t use a physical object or concrete fact in a casual way. Use it as a center piece of your presentation to connect and engage the audience.

Make it Memorable

Now in order to be an idea virus or something audience members will want to go out and tell others about you must also make your message memorable, clear, concise and compelling. Demonstrations, physical object and startling facts can create some of the most dynamic, memorable moments in a presentation. Audiences are very likely to remember the prop you used, and what you did with it, so don’t stumble in your presentation or your risk will not be worth the benefit you were seeking. Ensure that your tangible object has a dynamic, unforgettable purpose in your presentation. If there’s a chance it’s going to be perceived as a gimmick or fall flat with the audience, or its purpose is not relevant enough to the topic at hand, don’t use it.

When presentations disappoint, one cause most likely starts with a failure to recognize that presentations are two-way communication processes and that boredom comes quickly when audience members get lost on too much information or you have not painted or provide reality based tangibles for the audience members to engage and interact with.

Consider ways a Tangible can strengthen and intensify your presentation. If you’re speaking about a device, it’s fitting to show the audience the device at the beginning of your pitch. If you’re reporting a statistic, it’s very effective to make the visual “stick” by bring out a tangible object. Be creative! Have fun with it. And take the risk to enhance your performance and message please share your stories with the rest of the Wick Community.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Asking Questions and Living with Uncertainty

Want to  Be Open and updated on Reality—Try asking questions

Daily Quote: “ Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

Reflection: If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most people in order to create a comfort zone and reduce unknowns in life assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own beliefs and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs about life.  So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdated beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up being viewed as inflexible, dogmatic and rigid–  saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” who are on  food stamps are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open-minded and flexible leads to absolute thinking and limits our ability to deal with the uncertainty and inevitable changes in life.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

In many situations,  checking-in by asking questions and challenging our  assumptions provides us with more information and leads us to gain a better appreciation of the issues.

Action Challenge:

So how do we improve our skills and ability to ask better questions? Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

Over the next week try out your skill in asking questions and then see if this doesn’t improve your ability to see people and situations with a more open-mind. Keep us informed of your progress and we can start a dialogue for all of us to feel more comfortable in living with uncertainty and change.  

Want to craft your own free MBA type Learning–Don’t miss this series on Excellence by Tom Peter’s

Want to participate in your own custom designed MBA course in Excellence don’t miss this series by Tom Peter’s one of the top ten consultants in business since Peter Drucker.

” In the 30 years since the publication of In Search of Excellence, I’ve given 2,500+ presentations on organizational and personal excellence. For the last two+ years I’ve been pulling those 30 years of materials together. Throughout 2012, we will release, one part every two weeks, essentially “the best of”—a heavily annotated, 23-part mega-“presentation” titled “Excellence. Now.” This video gives you a preview. Use this material as you wish and please “steal” all you want! —Tom Peters

Check this one out on | # 5 Strategic Listening

“IN-effective  Leaders talk, EFFECTIVE leaders LISTEN. “Strategic Listening” is arguably the #1 competitive advantage”.

Daily quote and Reflection: Communication Our Greatest Achievement or Our biggest Deficit ?

Daily Quote and Reflection: Man’s supreme achievement in the world is communication from personality to personality” Karl Jasper

Reflection: I do agree that communication is man’s greatest achievement but the problem is that most of us are not very good at it. Our technical advances in communication have been far and wide, and people still struggle with the most important form of communication–face to face conversations. Many find it difficult to do in their places of work and others find it most difficult to accomplish with those we love and live with. Maybe this situation has been with us forever but I have been increasing worried and aware of the ineffectiveness of most of our interpersonal communication. It is rare to find a friend or group of colleagues who opening and sincerely share what really matters. My belief is that this situation has evolved  because of the hectic pace we are now living, or because we are just unwilling to share our feelings or truly listen and understand others and possibly it is because we have never learned how to effectively communicate. I have never seen a class on listening and communication in our public schools but a lot of emphasis on reading, math and science.  Yet communication has been seen as one of the biggest problems for failure in marriages and the workplace.  This interpersonal communication deficit in modern times affects the all the major institutions of our life from politicians to constituents, unions to management, doctors and patients and most of all parents to children. Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.

Action Activity: In the next 24 hours pick a communication skill like listening and reflecting feelings with someone who generally you ignore or tune out. Capture your observations and learning.  Remember the Rule of Change says” Things do not remain the same. If they don’t get better, they get worse.”  Good Luck 

Daily Quotes and Reflection–Trust and Vulnerability

Quotes:

“Vulnerability is . . . part of being human.  It’s as simple and as complicated as that. If we can’t be in touch with (and openly share) both our vulnerability and our strength in a balanced way, our self-regard suffers—and we won’t see others or ourselves clearly.” Dr. Carl Rogers

Trust is …is being courageous enough to open fully to another and accept the vulnerability of this state of being…

Reflection: I think to be trusting you need to be comfortable about self-disclosure and realize in being open you are vulnerable to other people labeling you less than… In addition, you risk being labeled as something you are not.   Trusting requires you to have a clear and strong self-awareness.  Trusting removes defensiveness and enables you to connect in a more meaningful way we others.

Action Assignment: Complete the following sentence to get at how and why you trust others.

When dealing with others trust is___________________________________.

Then reflect on your  sentence and try to figure out whether you give trust freely to others or they have to earn trust.

Eliminating Asshole behavior-Learn how to Frame Conflict and feedback for change

Recently, I re- read the enjoyable and insightful book on how to spot and deal with Assholes in the workplace. I highly recommend it if you are locked into constant battles with a difficult employees. Dr. Robert Sutton’s through analysis and honest inspection of the Asshole Personality provides tips on a problem solving framework for creating a mental “frame of reference” for dealing with the  “intent” behind their behavior. It establishes a context and tools within which specific information can be shared, understood and new approaches to restoring a workable and hopefully positive climate for communicating different views of the world can be developed.

A mind set is what you say at the beginning of the feedback process that tells the other person, in one sentence, what your expectations are, what you want to accomplish, what role  you perceive the other person plays in the stalemate and what you want to take away from the process and how we can agree on a solution that works for both of us . LASTLY, HOW WE ARE GOING TO EVALUATE OUR PROGRESS TOWARD RESOLUTION AND A NEW OF OPERATING TOGETHER.

This approach frames the specific behavioral feedback along with the impact of that behavior. When done well, it diminishes defensiveness and creates greater receptivity to solve the conflict and change the situation toward a win-win solution and an improved “quality of worklife”.

Shifting contexts is the skill of flexible-responsiveness that removes obstructions to listening or understanding information. It shifts the discussion to another frame or reference in order to break a logjam in understanding and change. An example, “We seem to be stuck here. What if we were to step back and talk about what our hopes are if we could create a better work experience where the union reps like yourself and management are not locked into win-lose attacks and arguments?

When the other person seems to be focusing on the negative and seems to be resistant to what is being said, it is often their frame of reference that need to be shifted.

Power Question formats are skill sets that engage the interest, curiosity and cooperation of others. Often, by asking a powerful question, we can help someone open up to hear what is being said.

Examples: “If you were in my shoes and I had engaged in this behavior, what would you have to say about it and how would you hope that I would respond?” “What is the best way for me to help you hear some feedback that points out how you could be performing better?”

This goes hand-in-hand with the skill of  Active Listening –to take the time to show someone we have heard and understood their reality–them through eye contact, summarizing their key points and asking follow-up questions to get more depth and understanding. It models how to receive input.

Constructing confrontational/appreciation messages has been written about in a prior column. In summary it is clarifying intent (mindset) for the feedback and communicating that at the beginning of the process. Then specifying specific behavior and following up with its impact on others, work, team, process or relationship.

Next you seek to understand by asking their intent and actively listening to them. You then summarize what you heard and review the behavior and the impact once again. Finally, you collobrate in creating an action plan and commitment to ask for their help in designing a path forward.

Designing action plans is the skill of outlining clear action items for process improvement. The secret to doing this well is to ensure that all actions are behaviorally specific, measurable and have some timeline attached to them. Follow-through is the skill of making sure that you reinforce the action plans by talking about progress or lack of progress in an on-going process.

Finally, setting up feedback loops is a skill set that helps identify formats, times and processes for ensuring that on-going feedback is occurring and that results of behaviors are communicated back to others in an on-going way.

If all this fails and you are in a position of power you may be forced to just fire the person.

Do you know the 5 Power Sources for Exceptional Presentations?

” Speeches are like steer horns.  a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between”. Alfred E. Neuman

Exceptional communicators meet or anticipate audience needs. They meet or exceed expectations period. Exceptional presenters gather information on the audience before or during the presentation by asking questions. Their goal is to share relevant information and move the audience to think differently and to something with the new information. So exceptional presenters are aware that before an audience member can agree and use the information and insights being presented…they have to understand you and connect with your message. This is no time to use jargon or overwhelm them with your expertise. To influence you must speak to the them directly and clearly in commonly understood vocabulary.

So what are the five power sources that provide you with the ability to influence your listening audience:

1. Use classic structure for designing your speech so it is easy to follow and understand. Such as, parallel structuring–problem/solution, features /benefits, and compare and contrast formats.

2. In the first 8 Seconds–grab their attention and curiosity by surprising them with an engaging story, a powerful and relevant quote or a little known statistic or fact

3. Set a positive, safe and comfortable learning environment by listening to their ideas or experience about the topic to be covered by the presentation. For example if you are presenting on what it takes to be an excellent speaker. Ask the audience when was the last time a speaker captured their attention and motivated them to do something different in their life? Ask them to turn to their neighbor and share their experience and be ready to report what characteristics made it a memorable experience rather than a yawner?

4.   Early in the opening of the speech make the audience feel important (MMFI) principle of engagement  by paying attention to their comments or sharing some insight you gather during the “meet and greet” time before the speech or in an observation you made during the last speech. This shows respect and the ability to want to connect with them and their interest.

5. Get to the Point and Message of your speech within 90 seconds of starting. Repeat the message often and close by seeing if they got it.

Two New Commandments for Sticky Presentations

Most presentations go bad because the presenter didn’t design or prepare well enough. I have gleamed three tips from my presentation coaching clients that might helpful for you in when designing or preparing for your next presentation. In fact, so important are these ideas that I’m going to elevate them to my 10 Commandments of Great Presentations hand-out at my next seminar.

The Presenter’s  Playbook for Stickiness.

1. Embrace the challenge of the presentation and opportunity to show your best.

2. Trust and believe in your message and ability to deliver it in a memorable way.

3. Get out of worrying about acceptance and results and into the process of connecting with the audience

4. Be audience-centered and focused not self-centered and arrogant.

5. Be prepared to accept surprises and be confident  that nothing will upset you on the platform.

6.  Learn to be flexible and open and ready to change at moment by reading your audience and listening for non-verbal feedback

7. Don’t just “wing it”  learn to enjoy planning, design and practice.

8.. Love your message and audience–don’t effort or try so hard be authentic and play to your natural strengths

9. Respect audience attention span and learning capacity.–Don’t over load them with facts , figures and information. Focus on one important thing and keep the message simple.

10. Remember — Perfection is a killer to spontaneity so be  present in the moment and  have fun doing it. Be your own best friend.

Follow these two new Commandments you will find that the audience will remember — and maybe even act on — your message. After all, the purpose for giving a presentation is to inform and change the world.

Commandment One: Focus on Audience needs and expectations—Duarte Rule Know Thy Audience.

Presentations are about their audiences, not their speakers. Before you write anything down, or commit anything to a Power Point slide, you must give some thought to your listeners. So ask yourself obvious — but easy to forget — questions like, what time of day am I speaking? How many people will be in the audience? Will they just have eaten, or will they be looking forward to a meal? Will they have heard a number of other speeches, or are mine the only one? The answer to each of these questions should affect the length, style and content of your presentation.

People have more energy and more ability to hear complex ideas early in the day; later in the day their energy flags and they don’t want to entertain as many new ideas. Larger audiences demand more energy from the speaker and want to laugh more than they want to cry. The worst audience (from the speaker’s point of view) is a tired, fed, slightly inebriated audience. That audience needs President Reagan’s rule for after-dinner speeches: 12 minutes, a few jokes, and sit down before the audience stands up.

But the really interesting things to know about audience members are, what do they fear? What are their dreams? Where do they want to be led? And what have they had recent cause to like or dislike? Only once you understand the emotional state of the audiences are you ready to begin to design a presentation for them. Far too many speakers make the mistake of believing that one size fits all. I have seen executives give the same speech about the financial state of the company to investors, to the general public, and to employees — with very different results.

Rule Two: Focus on the Message —Tell Them One Thing, and One Thing Only

This is a difficult rule for most presenters to follow. But it’s essential. The oral genre is highly inefficient. We audience members simply don’t remember much of what we hear. We’re easily sidetracked, confused, and tricked. We get distracted by everything from the color of the presenter’s tie to the person sitting in the next row to our own internal monologues. I’m afraid the company’s not in very good shape. That comment that Joan made last week. Maybe I should dust off my resume. Now, what was that guy up front saying?

So you’ve got to keep it simple. Many studies show that we only remember a small percentage of what we hear — somewhere between 10 – 30 percent.

But when a speaker gets in front of an audience, the urge to tell ‘em everything you know is very hard to resist. Far too many speakers perform a data dump on their audiences at the first opportunity. Unfortunately, we can only hold 4 or 5 ideas in our heads at one time, so as soon as you give me a list of more than 5 items, I’m going to start forgetting as much as I hear.

Against this dismal human truth there is only one defense: focus your presentation on a single idea. Be ruthless. Write that one idea down in one declarative sentence and paste it up on your computer. Then eliminate everything, no matter how beautiful a slide it’s on, that doesn’t support that idea.

Follow these two rules and you’ll find that audience will remember — and maybe even act on — your speeches. After all, the only reason to give a speech is to change the world.

Ripple Effect #2 —Oxytocin Recptor can trigger empathy and listening

Listen with the whole body; make eye contact with the intention of really seeing and connecting with the speaker; and offer connecting gestures without interrupting the speaker to share your own comments or stories. Simple—but not always easy to do when we’re distracted, busy, or stressed out ourselves. This approach to empathic listening can be a powerful gift to the person who is talking, because it encourages more openness and sharing at deeper conversational levels. It helps us stay grounded in the “here and now” moment, and more fully atunetuned with another person sharing his or her experience with us.

This type of active listening is a positive impact that “ripples” through the audience. It shows how one small action can have a big influence on the learning environment and receptivity of the audience to your message. As a speaker you can initiate a positive feeling from the audience that can have a virus type effective.  Being pro-active with positive gestures can trigger and engage audience members brain receptors like oxytocin in audience members.

When we have the intention to experience and offer empathy, we can make choices—even small ones, like how we make non-verbal expression of contact can lead to audience members authentic experience of caring and empathy from the speaker.

Research Reference:

A Kogan, LR Saslow, EA Impett, C Oveis, D Keltner, S Rodrigues Saturn. Thin-slicing study of the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) gene and the evaluation and expression of the prosocial disposition. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2011; DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1112658108.

The Inner Critic and the Outer Game of Life–Tips on How to “Play to Win”

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” –Richard Bach

In this blog I will provide some proven tips for overcoming the negative “inner critic” and help you begin to practice how to access your positive and natural strengths ( Self 2  a concept articulated by Tim Gallwey), to conquer performance fears and the power of the negative critic (Self1)  in your mind.

I think that many issues and problem we experience can be traced back to the internal conversations and stories we tell ourselves about our self, other people and situations. If we are unaware of these internal dialogues or let them override our common sense we can make big errors in judgment. This “inner critic” can interfere with our ability to make decisions, take risk and perform below our potential. Some of the external behavior may lead to bad first impressions, lack of confidence, unhappiness, fears, such as heights, flying or public speaking and other unfortunate outcomes.

Instead of focusing on the behavior you want to change, focus on the irrational messages the “inner critic” is telling and selling to you. Poor thinking leads to negative messages and become an obstacle to a strong sense of self and impact performing in a natural, authentic and confident manner. To STOP the negative alien or critic from talking and under-minding behavior you must find ways to change irrational thoughts into positive thoughts.

Let me suggest five techniques to take control of the destructive and upsetting inner conversations with your self critic:

1. Practice mindful awareness. It doesn’t matter where the inner critic’s material is coming from because it could be achored in comments and experiences from teachers, parents, a coach or an abusive spouse or  other traumatic experience; the reasons and sources of criticism don’t matter you just increasing your awareness that these conversations are happening provides power over the critical thoughts.
2. Evaluate whether the message has any validity or truth’ Is it enabling you to accomplish the outcomes you want or is it preventing you from doing so. Be honest. (Sometimes, people are addicted to their problems and the stories that create them.)
3. Keep a self-journal. Write down word for word the internal dialogue with the critic. It might be something like the following:

• “You’re no good at X, Y or Z,,.”
• “You’re too uncoordinated to play sports..”
• “You’re stupid and not very smart when it comes to math.”
• “You’re to an over-educated bleeding heart liberal.”
• “You take things to seriously.”
• “You have no sense of humor
• “ You are not a good writer

4. Brainstorm solutions and new messages for changing the dialogue.

• Create powerful affirmations and clear messages to block the “inner critic”.
• Write solutions down on a 3 x 5 card that provide evidence for overcoming irrational messages or stories presented by the inner critic. I’m not talking about a bunch of positive puff statements I am suggesting telling the truth to yourself and the critic. Often, this is simply a matter of shifting your perspective and providing evidence that is opposite to the negative critic’s story or message..

5 Start telling yourself new messages, believing in focused attention and turning down or off the inner critic. Every time your inner critic begins to tell you that you are loser, stop him. Say, “No! That’s BS. Here’s the truth.” Then repeat your new message or affirmation. For example, At a critical moment in a tennis match the inner critic says you always miss the important points or you are a choker when the match hinges on your ability to serve out a match to win. You say STOP. Take a deep breath and remember times when you have overcome steep hills to win. You visualize winning the point and turn it over to your fluid and natural Self 2. You play every point going down to the wire with focus on the “here and now” moment and remind yourself of comebacks in the past. You say to the inner critic I am not a loser and I don’t quit. I just need to focus on the next shot and do the best I can.!

Daily Quote and Reflection–Never Give-Up

Quote:

There is no use trying,” said Alice, “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  — Lewis Carroll  

Reflection:  This quote reminds me of the many times when I have felt down and just then I listen to a flash and new energy appears. With that new energy I am propelled forward to see connections I hadn’t seen before and realize that I may have a 100 new ideas a day I just need to know how to filter the good ones from the bad. What I do is to seek feedback from trust friends. The only caution I have is that when you are open to feedback don’t just be looking for confirmation. Don’t be discouraged because many of your friends may not have the risk level you have. Listen carefully to the feedback and let your intuition guide you to what is really possible or is just  magical thinking.

Action: When was the last time you had a “flash of brilliance” that  you act on? If it has been awhile take the time today to relax and listen to your intuition. You will be surprised how creative you can be. Good Luck and Never Give-up. 

Daily Quote and Reflection: Being open to Others Stories true message of Empathy

Quote: “ Every story we hear can teach us something about our lives. The connection is not in the details but in the overall meaning. You will seean event in one way, I in an altogrther different way. What we learn from that experience will be just as different and enriching.” Tom Chappell, Past Ceo of Tom’s of Maine. From the book, The Soul of a Business–Managing for Profit and the Common Good.

Reflection:  In this masterful book Tom Chappel shares his experiences on how to grow a business through a strong mission statement and alignment of values. When Tom talks about stor telling he is providing us with a lesson for listening, sharing and caring about other people’s point of view.  What is relly exciting about Tom’s growing a successful business is his emphasis on people first and then profits will follow. This quote on story telling encourageous us all to be more open to other people’s experience. This is the true essence of empathy.

Want to be experienced as a “Truth Teller”—Think Straight, Speak Straight…

Think straight, Speak Straight by using common, clear and tangible language  and audience will pay attention and believe you.

The point I am going to try to model for you is simple: I want to provide a believable  message about thinking straight, and speaking straight and it’s effect on you being perceived as a truth teller.  To expand on this I want you to use a common language understood by all that is jargon free, be clear in what you want to do and say, make the message concise and tangible.

There are all sorts of ways language can communicate truth. Here are some solid facts for you:

• People usually judge that more details mean someone is more creditable
• We find stories that are more visual and vivid to be more true,
• To influence people provide concrete facts make think the events more likely. ( don’t overload with facts.)

Here is another study that gives us some guidance;  by Hansen and Wanke (2010). There findings support the idea of getting to your point early and repeating it often but not with the same words is a powerful way to be seen as credible  Don’t be vague or to general with your message; for example, ” We need more “green jobs” to reduce unemployment”. Instead be direct, concrete and keep your point simple to provide a compelling  reason for action. For example, “We need 250,000 “green jobs” by 2012 to reduce unemployment to 8%

Abstract words are handy for talking conceptually but they leave a lot of room for misunderstanding, spin and confusion by the receiver.  Tangible words,  pictures or a physical object are aligned  to something in the real world and they refer to it precisely. Solar panels and electric batteries is specific while green jobs could refer to anything that impacts the use of carbon..

Hansen and Wanke give three reasons why tangibility  suggests credibility and “truth telling”

1. Our minds process concrete statements more quickly, and we automatically associate quick and easy with true .
2. We can create mental pictures of concrete statements more easily. When something is easier to picture, it’s easier to recall, so seems more credible and believable.
3. Also, when something is more easily pictured it seems more plausible, so it’s more readily believed.

So, think and  speak straight by making your message  visual, concise and  concrete and people will think it’s more true.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Are we in Danger of Losing our Listening and Understanding of Others?

Daily Quote According to Julian Treasure we have a major problem in interpersonal communications–”We Losing our ability to listen and understand others—We spend  65% of our day listening and only remember 25% of what is said to us.”

Reflection: What caught my attention, however, was the section where he talks about listening for leaders, teachers, spouses, parents or friends.  He uses “Rasa”, the sanskrit word for essence, as an acronym for effective listening  The essence of effective listening is to use-Rasa (Receive, Appreciate Summarize and  Ask) to be more engaged in the art of effective listening.

What caught my attention, however, was the section where he talks about listening for leaders, teachers, spouses, parents or friends.  He uses “Rasa”,  meaning the essence or core , as an acronym for:

Receive – pay attention and make a unique connect

Appreciate – show that you are engaged and interested –turn-off the cell and put down the Blackberry etc.

Summarize – make sure you understood

Ask – expand your knowledge

Other topics he tackles in this AHA Speech are the barriers to listening. He says we are to impatient and pickup just  sound bites, we are all too much in a hurry and no one teaches us about the importance and how to listening more effectively. We must all learn to listen more consciously to understand each other by consciously listening for understanding, rather than shouting, criticizing and judging others. If concentrate on learning the skills of listening we can create a better world by understanding and respecting others.

Here is my reflective challenge for you –View the TED video by Julian Treasure then ask Are you embracing listening in your daily interactions ?  In your different roles of parent, teacher, mentor are your actions aligned with the RASA elements of listening. And if not how could you put them into your life so that relationships become more effective?

Want more effective Mental Maps? Try using this learning process technique…

“Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most in order to create a comfort zone   assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own believes and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs. So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdate  beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open minded and flexible leads to absolute dogma and in many situations looking or sounding foolish.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

With prospect, with clients, at school, at home, in business, with our friends, family, colleagues or managers we can check assumptions and gain a better appreciation of the issues by first asking questions. Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

As we listen carefully to the answers we formulate further questions. When someone gives an answer we can often ask, “Why?” The temptation is to plunge in with our opinions, responses, conclusions or proposals. The better approach is keep asking questions to deepen our comprehension of the issues before making up our mind. Once we have mapped out the main points we can use closed questions to get specific information. Closed questions give the respondent a limited choice of responses – often just yes or no. Examples of closed questions are:

• When did this happen?
• Was he angry?
• Where is the shipment right now?
• Did you authorise the payment?
• Would you like to go to the cinema with me on Saturday evening?

By giving the other person a limited choice of responses we get specific information and deliberately move the conversation forward in a particular direction.

Asking many questions is very effective but it can make you appear to be inquisitorial and intrusive. So it is important to ask questions in a friendly and unthreatening way. Do not ask accusing questions. “What do you think happened?” will probably get a better response than, “Are you responsible for this disaster?” Try to pose each question in an innocent way and ensure that your body language is relaxed and amicable. Do not jab your finger or lean forward as you as put your requests.

Try to practice asking more questions in your everyday conversations. Instead of telling someone something, ask them a question. Challenging questions stimulate, provoke, inform and inspire engagement and learning. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn.

Smart-Steps for more positive mindset and action

1. To strengthen our own “stress hardiness” and lessen the likelihood of anxiety and burnout: Practice answering the following questions  :

√ Passion and Commitment: What brings purpose to your life?

√ Challenge: Try reframing  difficult situations as  opportunities for learning.

√ Self-Control : To focus your time and energy on areas of your life over which you have  some influence and control.

√ Change intensity of response: Focus on things that happen to you that are unpleasant as inconvenient rather than awful.