How do you want to life your life? Develop a Personal Vision

I have blogged many times about the concept of personal vision and Meaningful Constructive Living. Now a thought leader and professor of Ethics at Harvard Business School, discusses his new book and explains why it’s essential to develop ethical principles, a moral compass and commitments that you follow 100% of the time. He discusses how to make a difference in your life and how to evaluate where you are measuring up to this life purpose. For more, read his article, How Will You Measure Your Life? from Harvard Business School. Clay Christensen has for many years been talking about ethics in business, so don’t miss this insightful conversation on developing a purpose to live and be judge by.

 

Dr. Mark’s Ten Rules for Creating and delivering Transformational Presentations Using InsideOut Formula:

The greatest thing I’ve got going for me is my ability to believe in other people’s talents. I am a feedback mirror because I hear and see people doing things they can’t hear or see themselves doing. Every great communicator needs that kind of feedback or they will not be stimulated to change or grow.  Having confidence in yourself is important, but it helps to have someone who believes in you, too, whether it’s a spouse, a friend, a teacher, or even a coach. To be a great a presenter takes “Truth telling” which begins with courage and belief in yourself. So if you want to come across to your audience as authentic practice daily the actions listed in my “ten rules for presenting” they will speak volumes of who you really are and transform a speech into a transformation experience.

Dr. Mark’s Ten Rules for Creating and delivering Transformational Presentations Using InsideOut Formula:                                             

1. Be clear and concise, confident and compelling about your goals for the presentation.Don’t present anything you won’t want to sit through yourself

2. Learn that “Connecting with Others” is more about you than the audience. Do you believe in what you are presenting? Are you comfortable in presenting ideas and information to others?

3. Believe in your self—Know your strengths and use them. This will allow you the freedom to overcome nervousness and self-doubts.

4. Know nothing will bother or interfere with your performance and your ability to stay on message and in the moment.

5. Radiate and Resonate. Love what you are doing and your audience.—Be confident responsive and respectful. Your radiance is coming from the pure, utter joy of feeling alive–of being connected to your message and the audience.

6. Speak with passion–be energized and excited that you get the privilege of presenting  what you know that can help the audience members live a more fulfilling life.

7. Stay focused but flexible on audience interests, needs and engagement.

8. Be natural and authentic—Don’t try to hard to be someone you are not or say things you don’t believe.

9. Don’t worry about evaluations and results of the presentation. Stay in the moment observe, respond and focus on the process of conveying your message and connecting with the audience.

10. Seek feedback on how you are meeting expectations as you are presenting—use checkpoints

11. Close with a bang. Check for understanding. Wave the flag. Call for commitment, change and action

Extra Idea for getting ready to speak– Use “relaxation and release” tools to start in a great state of mind and energy…   be open to whatever arises.

Want to be a “Sticky” presenter focus on making your communication visible and tangible

We have reviewed and explained how to use the R.A.T.E.R. checklist  tool for more effective and “sticky” presentations in another blog on the Wick

R. Relevant to experience and daily lives of participants. Tap into their needs and wants. Meet their expectations to learn something they can use.

A. Assurance that your ideas have merit and basis in fact and experience–make your case evidence based with best practices woven in to emotional solutions.

T. Create a message that is Tangible ( concrete, specific and practical) not a high level theory. Keep message simple. appeals to sensory and visual needs of the audience. Let them discover the answers. Make the message tangible or concrete by using physical objects and specific fact-based evidence.

E. Focus on showing empathy and understanding of the audience POV by telling emotional and feeling stories. Meet expectations and tap into members experience through involvement and interaction.

R. Be responsive to audience questions, skepticism and challenges.  Use CPR technique (clarify mis-understandings, paraphrase and restate audience comments and input, reflect audience feelings and degree of support or disagreement) and active listening to connect with the audience. For example, when you are asked  for opinion deflect question to the group to stimulate discussion and generate ideas. Then summarize comments and agreements/disagreements  before giving your expert advise or opinions on the topic being discussed.

In the book Made to Stick, the Heath brothers argue that concreteness or tangibility “helps us understand– it helps us construct… insights on the building blocks of our existing knowledge and perceptions.” They suggest that tangible or concrete ideas “stick” better and are easier to remember and spreed to others. Nothing lends concreteness to ideas more obviously than the use of  physical objects or specific scientific-based  evidence.

A physical object is something tangible that the presenter brings forward to show and let them touch during the presentation—it can be a book, rock, picture or factual idea. The reason to use one is if its presence lends more concreteness and provides more interaction and discussion to your presentation. Does the physical object make something clear that is confusing? Does the a tangible provide and reinforce a visual explanation of something abstract? Does the physical model or fact  make your presentation more grounded in reality rather than theory? Use it only if you answered yes to those three questions. Don’t use a physical object or concrete fact in a casual way. Use it as a center piece of your presentation to connect and engage the audience.

Make it Memorable

Now in order to be an idea virus or something audience members will want to go out and tell others about you must also make your message memorable, clear, concise and compelling. Demonstrations, physical object and startling facts can create some of the most dynamic, memorable moments in a presentation. Audiences are very likely to remember the prop you used, and what you did with it, so don’t stumble in your presentation or your risk will not be worth the benefit you were seeking. Ensure that your tangible object has a dynamic, unforgettable purpose in your presentation. If there’s a chance it’s going to be perceived as a gimmick or fall flat with the audience, or its purpose is not relevant enough to the topic at hand, don’t use it.

When presentations disappoint, one cause most likely starts with a failure to recognize that presentations are two-way communication processes and that boredom comes quickly when audience members get lost on too much information or you have not painted or provide reality based tangibles for the audience members to engage and interact with.

Consider ways a Tangible can strengthen and intensify your presentation. If you’re speaking about a device, it’s fitting to show the audience the device at the beginning of your pitch. If you’re reporting a statistic, it’s very effective to make the visual “stick” by bring out a tangible object. Be creative! Have fun with it. And take the risk to enhance your performance and message please share your stories with the rest of the Wick Community.

More on the Power of Vulnerability and Shame

Dr. Brown’s last speech at TED was one of our most watched video post of 2011. Now she is back with more insight and reflection on how vulnerability can impact change and innovation in your life.

By the way her opening is a great example of modeling personal vulnerability. This opening teaches you how to use self-disclosure and vulnerability to connect with an audience.  

Part 2: How to get a handle on our Negativity Bias?

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

The process of change begins with a moral grounding and solid reflection on who we are and what we are trying to do in making a difference in life. The ability to look in the mirror and see what we want to see must change to seeing the things in the mirror that are less obvious, like an undesired wrinkle or skin blemish.

It is this craving for meaning that I hear so loud and clear in many people . Despite all your doubts and fears be true to yourself. The searching you are doing is painful but necessary. It is a step on your path of self-discovery and a sign of growth.  It is also a great investment of positive energy. The seeker must learn to accept and live a life of authenticity. Remember–Victor Frankl’s words– “The only lost cause is the one we give up on before we enter the struggle.”

Reflection: When will the time come when we do more than just speak these words but actually implement them in action? Maybe we all need to just start with ourselves. I mean in all situations try to think first about others, be kind , respectful, tolerant, non-judgmental  and accepting of differences. These small interpersonal changes might get the ball rolling to “ the civil state” most of us want and need to live healthy and productive lives.

Daily Quote and Reflection: Asking Questions and Living with Uncertainty

Want to  Be Open and updated on Reality—Try asking questions

Daily Quote: “ Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.” -M Scott Peck.

Reflection: If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way for learning. So why do we stop asking questions and give more advice or try sell our arguments at any cost. Self-protection? Fear of cognitive dissonance? Or are we just lazy learners? Most people in order to create a comfort zone and reduce unknowns in life assume they know all the main things they need to know on a subject and then go through life looking for examples and evidence to reinforce our own beliefs and view of the world. They don’t bother to ask questions because they do not want to upset their views and beliefs about life.  So they don’t ask questions because would require change and pain for them. They cling to outdated beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up being viewed as inflexible, dogmatic and rigid–  saying stupid things like the world is flat or all those “people” who are on  food stamps are lazy or do such and such. This inability to be open-minded and flexible leads to absolute thinking and limits our ability to deal with the uncertainty and inevitable changes in life.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers.

Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong off the cliff.

In many situations,  checking-in by asking questions and challenging our  assumptions provides us with more information and leads us to gain a better appreciation of the issues.

Action Challenge:

So how do we improve our skills and ability to ask better questions? Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

• What business are we really in, what is our added value?
• Why do you think this has happened?
• What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
• How can we reduce customer complaints?
• Why do you think he feels that way?
• What other possibilities should we consider?

Over the next week try out your skill in asking questions and then see if this doesn’t improve your ability to see people and situations with a more open-mind. Keep us informed of your progress and we can start a dialogue for all of us to feel more comfortable in living with uncertainty and change.  

Do you really see reality or a Biased view?

So think about that next time you listen to a presenter and hear their position. Now check to see whether you are listening with an open mind. Ask — Is it the position and evidence the presenter is marshaling for their position that bothers you, or is it the biased assumptions you have made about the group you think they represent that upsets and filters your opinion. The question is can you separate the message from the messenger? 

So to get an answer I researched some studies from psychological literature.When the information seems to be coming from or favoring the other side, all bets are off.  Here is one study that points out our inability to listen with objectivity:  

In a famous 1950s psychology experiment, researchers showed students a film of a Dartmouth-Princeton football game in which officials made a series of obvious bone head calls against one team. Asked to make their own assessments of the calls, students who attended the offending team’s college reported seeing half as many illegal plays as did students from the college team that got the bad calls. Controversy  was generated over what actually took place during the game. Basically, there was disagreement between the two schools as to what had happened during the game. A questionnaire designed to get reactions to the game and to learn something of the climate of opinion was administered at each school and the same motion picture of the game was shown to a sample of undergraduate at each school, followed by another questionnaire. Results indicate that the “game” was actually many different games and that each version of the events that transpired was just as “real” to a particular person as other versions were to other people. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)

So if  you unpack the experiment it is saying that our perceptions of the same event our biased by our group affiliations. Now the question arises if the same phenomena happens when listening to and experiencing a presentation from a speaker who is identified with a group you don’t trust or see as credible? 

Winning from Within: To be experienced as a “sticky presenter” learn about “thin slicing” concept and other ideas.

 

You will gain tremendous credibility, become much more believable, facilitate your audience understanding and engagement if you look one audience member in the eyes and provide a clear, concise and compelling message. Instead of leaving audience members shaking their heads and saying to their neighbor “I don’t have any idea what he just said.”  “Experts” who use jargon and acronomes to communicate bold ideas generally leave audience members in the dark, disinterested and bored.

Malcolm Gladwell touches on this phenomenon in his book, Blink. He talks about “thin-slicing,” or “the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behavior based on very narrow slices of experience.” He explains how too much or too complicated slides can cloud an individual’s ability to accurately analyze a situation, and how an excellent communicator needs to be concise and clear in presenting their message or suffer the I don’t care what you are saying reaction. In other words, mini-impressions do count. And although you never get a second chance to make a first impression, you do get a chance to make your next presentation understandable and clear to your audience. It will help you build your credibility and connection with the audience.

Three Other Strategies for “winning from within”:

Capture your audience’s attention. Think about one of your favorite presenters? What style or techniques did they use draw you in — humor, tangibles, relevance, emotions, surprise, or something else? Think about how you could incorporate strategies and techniques into your next important presentation.

Convey a clear and compelling message. Consider the key message for your audience. What do you want to try and convey to engage and connect with them, and how are you going to use your connection with audience members to generate curiosity and aqttention? How are you going to frame the message to make your point sticky and meet the audience needs? Now, think about your own messaging — what is the most critical takeaway you would like the audience to understand and receive? How might you deliver your message to ensure your audience walks away with this understanding and commitment to take action?

Focus on differentiation. Think about what distinguishes the best communicators from the rest. How does the speaker use his presentation to connect with people in a unique way? What sets you apart from other speakers? How can you stick and highlight your distinctive message?

When you combine these three elements, you’ve got the potential for a persuasive “hotspot.” The key is having these components ready so that you can recall them under the pressure of giving a speech or presentation. To access these elements on the spot will require mental toughness and calmness. For example, the best presenters are always prepared to connect with the audience by thinking quickly on their feet and changing their address to fit the needs of the moment. Similarly, the best leaders often are not those who provide the most data, or speak the loudest or longest but are those who speak in a memorable and inspiring way over and over again.

Our world is filled with noise, information, distractions and rules; so having someone’s undivided attention — even for 60 seconds — is an opportunity that shouldn’t be wasted. If you can use those 60 seconds to capture their attention, deliver your message, and distinguish yourself from others, you’re likely to be heard, understood, and remembered. What presenter  wouldn’t want that? Remember: never let the rules over-rule your common sense and intuition as a communicator. 

Want to Bring a Wow experience to your next Presentation? Be Passionate and Mentally Tough

” Concentration and mental toughness provide confidence and are the difference between a boring presentation and a WOW experience for the audience.” MW Hardwick, Presentation Coach

Design with Purpose and Deliver with Confidence.

What matters to you is shown by your passion. Your passion will draw others to your cause. Emotional words and message are more important in hooking people and generating a contagion. Meaningful purpose gathers extraordinary support. The right idea—framed in emotion—grows exponentially through social media and word of mouth advocacy. Checkout how, The Dragonfly Effect, encouraged a social media project 100k Cheeks, to raise awareness and increase the number of people enrolled in the International Bone Marrow Registry.

If you isolate one thing about high achievers that has put them at the pinnacle of success above anything and everything else, it is the ability to communicate and connect with confidence and openness to audience members. I call this constellation of factors the mental toughness factor.

Call it mental toughness, confidence, courage–it is the profound ability to stay
in connected and overcome obstacles in the face of taking risks, challenges, loss, and adversity.
This new knowledge will empower you to perform at the top of your game because relevant information + knowledge = confidence and power, because 90% of success as a presenter is belief in yourself and mental toughness.
That’s why you owe it to yourself to take the next step to build your confidence and character as a public speaker. Try out these techniques and I assure you that your next speech will not be boring.

Daily Quote and Reflection-Journaling on My Birthday.

Daily quote and Reflection

Quote: What is the most amazing thing?
That we live as if we are going to live forever.- Hindu Proverb.

Daily Journaling and Reflection—Untapped source of energy. There is real power in the simple act of journaling. Stopping, Observing, Reflecting and Doing (writing).  It creates a positive cycle of mindfulness and relaxation, which leads to more noticing of your own happiness, obstacles and progress toward fulfillment. The more we practice journaling, the stronger the habit becomes. This is my  journal entry today on my birthday—

Power question–Which is more certain, today my birthday or tomorrow my death?

Birthday Poem: Life or death- by MW Hardwick

If today my birthday is special, how should I live this day?

The answer, for me, is to celebrate my birthday

Live in the here and now and

Enjoy every breath

Then take this day — my starting point 68 years ago

And live today and everyday as my last.
Be in good cheer, see the bright side of all challenges

Accept my friends and loved ones today.
Live with a clear purpose of having fun today. My special day.
Put aside all the expectations

And just experience what comes today.

Ignore my duties for today.
Cultivate myself today. Be care free.
Live mindfully today.
Be at peace today.
Be happy today.

Be patient.

And accept what comes.

If I live this way today, I live in fulfillment and peace of mind.
If I die today, I die fulfilled with gratitude in my heart.

And in peace. And in peace…peace…

Poem on Respect and Responsiveness

Poem on Respect and Responsiveness by M.W. Hardwick

    Idea for poem: Respect and Responsiveness are the keys to employee and customer satisfaction and they seem to be lacking in many organization–for example We can’t do that because of policy.

      R&R is key to brand perception.

      R&R are keys to your ability to look in the mirror. 

      R&R are keys to to leadership effectiveness.

      R&R are keys to long-term relationships and trust.

      R&R are free.

      Embrace and pursue the value of R&R

      R&R require empowerment and empathy…

     Where are they…Where are they… 

Daily Quotes and Reflection: Power of First Impressions

Quotes:

The answer is that we are not helpless in the face of our first impressions. They may bubble up from the unconscious – from behind a locked door inside of our brain – but just because something is outside of awareness doesn’t mean it’s outside of control.”
Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

 Its’  all about storytelling. It’s about creating a connection to the audience.”

Reginald Hudlin, President of Entertainment, BET

 Reflection: 

Spend more time on making a strong and lasting “first impression” on the audience. Like the old saying, you only get one chance for a great first impression. Overcoming a lack luster open to your presentation,  like a flat  or non-energized beginning, and then having to change that initial  poor image, takes lots to time and effort. Your initial first impression can make or break your presentation.

Action Assignment: You may not be making a speech today, but is helpful to practice how to make good first impressions. Today, stop and try to make a positive impression on someone you don’t know. After the interaction circle back to get some feedback–How did you come across to this person and what was their first impression of you? There is a lot to learn here because we all have “blindspots” between how we want to come across to others and their actual experience of you. 

 

Daily Quote and Reflection: Greatest Gift

Daily Quote: ” I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made “–Virginia Satir

Reflection: Now it is your turn to absorb, focus and capture your own reflection. You can’t hope to become an effective leader without self-awareness and looking at how words and experiences effect your daily interactions. Learning to learn how to reflect on experiences and the lessons life offers will enhance your ability to relate, communicate and develop as a fully functioning leader and congruent person. So give it a try by reflecting on what it means in your life to truly connect with others. Share your ideas with the rest of our community at the wick. 

New Science of Teamwork–Power of Team results is how they communicate

“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

I am a big believer in Social Science research and not just fly by opinions. For many years, I have been studying and working with teams and was always trying to figure-out what made the difference between poor , average and superior work teams. Now comes some strong support that what makes a difference in separating superior teams from others is how they communicate not what they communicate.

HBR’s April Spotlight on teams describes in detail the ” new science of building great teams. We can summarize those points here. The data in this research provides evidence that great teams:

• “Communicate frequently. In a typical project team a dozen or so communication exchanges per working hour may turn out to be optimum; but more or less than that and team performance can decline.
• Talk and listen in equal measure, equally among members. Lower performing teams have dominant members, teams within teams, and members who talk or listen but don’t do both.
• The Coffee Break factor spend time in frequent informal communication. The best teams spend about half their time communicating outside of formal meetings or as “asides” during team meetings, and increasing opportunities for informal communication tends to increase team performance.
• Explore for ideas and information outside the group. The best teams periodically connect with many different outside sources and bring what they learn back to the team.

You’ll notice that none of the factors outlined above concern the content or messages of a team’s communication. The study was design to capture only how people communicate — tone of voice, gestures, how one faces others in the group, and how much people talk and listen. The researchers did not capture what people communicate.

This is purposeful. From the beginning, I suspected that the ineffable buzz of high-performing teams was more about the how of communication than the what. My hypothesis was that the ancient biological patterns of signaling that humans developed in the millennia before we developed language — which is a relatively recent development — still dominate our communication. We all know how powerful non-verbal communication can be between humans.

According to their data: How we communicate turns out to be the most important predictor of team success, and as important as all other factors combined, including intelligence, personality, skill, and content of discussions. The old adage that it’s not what you say, but how you say it, turns out to be mathematically correct.

Just how powerful these patterns of communication are can be surprising. For example, we can predict with precision whether a team will perform well or not, and we can predict with a high rate of success whether or not team members will report they’ve had a “productive” or “creative” day based solely on the data from the sociometric badges. If this seems like a statistical parlor trick, it’s not. By adjusting group behavior based on this data, we’ve documented improved teamwork.

Many people are uncomfortable with this. It suggests that a kind of biological determinism, that people who naturally display the good communication patterns will “win” and anyone not blessed with this innate talent will drag a team down. In fact, that’s not the case at all. In our work we’ve found that these patterns of communication are highly trainable, and that personality traits we usually chalk up to the “it” factor — personal charisma, for example — are actually teachable skills. Data is an amazingly powerful tool for objectifying what would normally seem subjective. Time and again I’ve seen data become an incontrovertible ally to team members who may otherwise be afraid to voice their feelings about the group dynamics. They can finally say “I’m not being heard” and they have the data to back them up.”

People should feel empowered by the idea of a science of team building, The idea that we can transmute the guess-work of putting a team together into a rigorous methodology, and then continuously improve teams is exciting. Nothing will be more powerful, I believe, in eventually changing how organizations work.

Anyone interested in the full article can go the HBR article located in the Insight Center. After that you can tune-in to other  blog posts about the power of visualization of the data, and where the technology and science are headed. If that isn’t enough information you can learn more by joining the author, Alex “Sandy” Pentland, who is the director of MIT’s Human Dynamics Laboratory and the MIT Media Lab Entrepreneurship Program.

Source:

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/03/the_new_science_of_building_gr.html

Practice Makes Perfect–Myth or Reality of 10,000 hours of practice

Practice Makes Perfect —Really

Does 10,000 hours make you expert or master of a subject or performance activity, like tennis or public speaking? From my review it seems that the key is 10,000hours done in deliberative practice structure. So what exactly is deliberative practice? Most research defines it as an activity with a very well-defined end-goal, which should be difficult. The activity needs to be highly repeatable. There needs to be feedback on the quality of each repetition; so it is helpful to have a coach or friend review your performance.

Many cognitive scientist that the key to mastery comes about when a skill is moved from the short term memory of the beginner to the working long term memory of the expert. Once embedded in the working long term memory, the brain can short-cut the slow process of deliberation associated with juggling new rules stored in the short term memory. Indeed, the operation of working long term memory is like snap judgments or “gut decisions” you make on a daily basis because we have been there before and done that thing we wanted to do.

I believe that the neurological rewiring that occurs during focused attention is the driving mechanism behind the deliberative practice process for learning.  Only focused attention can trigger the brain into the process of rewiring the brain. Self-reflection over the feedback seems to be the important element needed to move a skill from short term memory to the working long-term memory. Often, after I’ve practiced a new technique in tennis, a burst of energy and satisfaction of having let my natural  Self 2 do what it does best without interferences of past experience, doubt or negativity. This is probably a consequence of some kind of rewiring. The repetition of this self-awareness in deliberative practice results in the most effective rewiring, leading ultimately to a state of mastery where the activity can be done quickly, and without effort.

http://boscoh.com/books/towards-mastery-deliberative-practice-flow-and-personality-traits